The World According To Adaure

TERRORISM WATCH: EXPLOSIONS ROCK KANO

2012-01-20T12:54:00.005-05:00

This just breaking. Various news agencies are reporting several blasts in Kano. There are reports of casualties as pandemonium grips the commercial city this evening. Witnesses say the first was at the police headquarters and the second was at the passport office. Updates to follow...

BUSINESS DAY ANTI-OCCUPY FALOMO ARTICLE

2012-01-20T12:02:00.006-05:00

(Photo credit: occupynigeriaprotest.blogspot.com)

A friend of mine sent me a link to an article in The Business Day Newspaper. Usually I make it a rule not to comment on articles if it would come out as being judgmental of the writer. However, this article 'When Louis Vuitton Met Hermes At Falomo' kind of had me irked a little bit that I had to comment. Unfortunately the website doesn't seem to allow for commenting so here's is my comment below.

With all due respect being wealthy or aspiring to be does not and should not equate to having political apathy. And it is not a CRIME (except where it is ill gotten) If these rich folks, many self employed, did not come out to join in, you will be the same to complain. They were able to get together to express their dissatisfaction in a language they understand and now they are getting castigated. Please spare me. I want to see the article that will speak about how for a change it wasn't only the poor on the streets asking for the change. Difference is just in the style. I understand that in our society the lines between those who benefit from the pillaging of the country and those who have made good on genuine hard work and good education have become fuzzy, but we need to STOP VILIFYING SUCCESS in this manner!!

Regards
Channel sunglass/ Gucci sneakers/ LV wearing occupier

Now I don't own a pair of Gucci sneakers , I just threw that in for the effect. Thanks to poetic license. Lol. I know a bunch of people who were livid about the article, including my friends who were out there because they were quite passionate about the issues but wanted a safe and near by place to participate in an event that was historically shaping the country. This article trivializes their efforts and the efforts of those others who were out there for hours marching from one end of Ikoyi to the other, even Occupying the NTA office in VI. I was out there a couple of times checking different locations for work, and what I came away with was totally different from what this writer has written. It may not have been a lot in some people's books but they get an 'A' for effort. What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the writer's position or he/she has a chip on the shoulders? Do you feel the Occupy Falomo was a 'picnic', a place to show off and 'oppress' or that what we saw just comes with the territory, package so to speak? Do you think it was a genuine contribtion or a side show for bored rich folks with cabin fever? Let's talk...

LET'S GET THINGS BACK TO NORMAL SHALL WE

2012-01-17T13:23:00.006-05:00

Phew! And what a week that was. The little revolution that TRIED. A week when many Nigerians dared the government. We shall surely revisit that week. I bet there will be more interesting weeks ahead as we still have 40 months of Goodluck Jonathan's government. As we move on with life, I feel a sense of trepidation and wonder if the example of leadership shown this week is what we shall have to stomach the rest of those months. When I went to the ballot box in April 2011, I sure as hell did not get the memo that I was signing up for a promo: Vote 1 get 2 free, these being a Democracy, Cabal and Military rule. Perhaps this was just a fluke from panic at the sight of the crowds building at the protest points. Time will tell. Here's to the reset button on 2012 as the year only just started today for many of us.

SUBSIDY: ALL SET FOR STRIKE AS NIGERIA REPS ADVISE POLICY SUSPENSION

2012-01-09T00:53:00.003-05:00

THE stage seemed set for today’s petrol prices strike as some protesters were seen in Abuja with blankets ready to camp out.

A senators’ last-minute effort to stave off the strike failed. Labour mapped out details of its action and the Nigeria Bar Association (NBA) called on lawyers to join the strike.

Besides, the House of Representatives advised the Executive to roll back the prices. But the Presidency described the resolution as inciting.

Petrol now costs between N138 and N200 per litre, up from N65 before the New Year’s Eve’s sudden withdrawal of subsidy.

Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) Acting Secretary General Owei Lakemfa issued a directive on the protest in Abuja.

He said: “The NLC and TUC have directed that Abuja residents converge on Berger Roundabout daily by 8.00am from Monday January 9. Please pass on information to others by means.”

Some would-be protesters arrived at the Eagle Square yesterday, carrying mattresses, blankets and tents – ready for the action.

The Lagos State council of the congress will begin its protest from the Labour House in Tejuosho.

NLC Deputy President Promise Adewusi said he was not aware of any official invitation to a meeting with senators.

Said Adewusi: “I am not aware of any formal invitation by the National Assembly. So, I will not attend a meeting without an invitation as that will be tantamount to gate crashing. We are not likely to go for any negotiation now without PMS pump price being firstly reverted to N65 per litre as that will amount to negotiating under duress. Nigerians have been fully mobilised by hunger, poverty, anger and angst and are primed for the start of the strike tomorrow. Like our President ordered, ‘no retreat, no surrender’.

NLC and Trade Union Congress (TUC) leaders shunned the Senate’s invitation for a meeting over the planned strike.

The Senator Wilson Ake-led Senate Committee on Labour and Productivity scheduled the meeting for 3p.m. yesterday. It was not to be.

A source said: “Members of the committee were actually at the Senate, expecting the labour leaders who did not turn up. After some time, the senators went to the Labour House to meet with the leaders but they were not there. Efforts to reach them on phone did not yield positive results as the phones were switched off.”

The Nation learnt that most of the labour leaders were in Lagos to perfect plans for today’s action when members of the Senate Committee on Labour and Productivity were waiting for them in Abuja.

Labour leaders could not also be reached for comments.

Senator Ake had in a statement expressed worry over the consequences of a nationwide industrial action proposed by labour, civil society organisations and professionals against the federal government’s removal of fuel subsidy.

He called for restraint, warning that an industrial action could be catastrophic.

Ake dismissed the notion that the government was deliberately punishing Nigerians, saying all parties should cooperate in the collective interest of the nation.”

The nationwide indefinite strike begins today.

In Lagos, officials of Labour and Civil Societies Coalition (LASCO) met to put finishing touches to their plan for the strike.

NLC Deputy President, Joe Ajaero said after the meeting that nothing has happened to change Labour’s position. The strike and protests will begin today, he stressed.

His words: “Nothing has happened to change our position, not even the House of Representatives session. The President’s speech was also empty; it did not address the issue. We are not intimidated. It is a challenge to the Nigerian people, not only Labour. Therefore, the strike begins tomorrow (today) as scheduled. If Government is ready to listen to the people, the president should invite us. We will meet with him.”

LASCO Secretary Abiodun Aremu named the co-ordinating centres for the peaceful street protests to include NLC Lagos Secretariat, Yaba, TUC Secretariat, Ikorodu Road, Textile Union House, Acme Road, Lagos State University, Ojo, and Agric Union House, Alaguntan, Iyana Ipaja.NLC is the central coordinating centre.

Protesters will converge on NLC office and set out from there for the street rally at 8am.

SUBSIDY: MADAM FINANCE MINISTER SPEAKS TO AL-JAZEERA

2012-01-09T00:49:00.002-05:00

Nigeria's Finance Minister, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala explains the controversial subsidy removal policy that has Nigerian up in arms.

Is her economics making sense to you? Your thoughts...

NEWS INSIDER: PUREFOY OUT, DUTHIERS IN, COVERS NIGERIA

2012-01-07T05:06:00.013-05:00

(Photo Credit: vantagereportage.com)

It appears Vladamir Duthiers is now assigned to cover Nigeria and the West Africa region for CNN. He has been seen/heard on-air, reporting from Nigeria. If that's the case, he takes over from Christian Purefoy who did a fabulous job while on the beat for seven years. Here's Purefoy's tweet, confirming his exit.

(Photo Credit: Celebregion.com)

Vlad worked for CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° and was among the first journalists to arrive in Haiti to cover the devastating January 2010 earthquake. For a month, Duthiers reported and translated for Anderson Cooper, whose coverage of the earthquake was nominated for an Emmy this year. He returned to Haiti 9 months later to independently report on an American missionary who had sexually abused street orphans for 10 years. That report aired on AC360° in December. Duthiers also worked on the show Amanpour. anchored by Emmy-award winning journalist Christiane Amanpour.

Before joining CNN, Duthiers spent 20 years in the investment management industry at AllianceBernstein Investments – a $400 billion asset management company. As managing director, Duthiers managed a $10 million budget and a global staff of 12. He traveled through 40 countries, meeting interesting people in interesting places: from the ruler of the United Arab Emirates to Kannushi Shinto priests in Kyoto and the Bouquinistes of Paris. Seeing the stories behind the places and people of his journeys sparked his decision to leave the world of finance for journalism.

For many, such an abrupt transformation seemed spontaneous at best and reckless at worst. But, ever since reading Thoreau’s Walden as a child, he had always been inspired by the words, “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”Now, his passion is to find a unique vantage point to those stories and tell them well to a global audience.

Duthiers earned a B.A. in Political Science from the University of Rhode Island and an M.S. in Journalism from Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. He also served in the U.S. Army with the Reserve Officer Training Corps. while attached to the 169th Military Police Company of the Rhode Island National Guard from 1988 to 1992.

He is a member of the National Association of Black Journalists, South Asian Journalists Association and the Society of Professional Journalists. He speaks French, Haitian-Creole and is learning Mandarin Chinese. In his spare time, Duthiers is an amateur rock guitarist, pop-culture historian, and a student of several martial arts. He has written several screenplays and was the lead vocalist/rhythm guitarist in the Surrender Monkeys – a pub band that played to dozens of fans across Europe. (info culled from www.vantagereportage.com)

Welcome to Naija, Vlad!

More About Christian Purefoy

Purefoy was named to the position in early 2008 an was an integral part of CNN’s presence in Lagos, where he regularly reported stories of global relevance from within the region.

Purefoy served for three years as a producer, editor and cameraman on various assignments for CNN that included extensive work on Inside Africa, CNN’s weekly current affairs program that provides global viewers with an inside look at political, economic, social and cultural affairs and trends in Africa.

Before joining CNN full time, Purefoy was based in Lagos, Nigeria and worked as a freelance journalist writing for a variety of UK and US newspapers and publications including The Independent, The Daily Telegraph, The Times, San Francisco Chronicle and Newsweek.

He first joined up with CNN International in June 2002 as a producer at ‘Vivid Features’, an Africa-based production company, where he helped produce a number of CNN-commissioned projects. Purefoy is British and studied International Politics and International History at Keele University.

Goodluck Chris and Congrats on holding down the beat!

TERRORISM WATCH: BOKO HARAM CLAIMS MUBI ATTACK, SAY STATE OF EMERGENCY WON'T STOP THEM

2012-01-07T04:36:00.003-05:00

The purported spokesman for Islamist group Boko Haram has claimed responsibility for separate attacks on a church in Gombe that killed six people and Christian mourners in Mubi that killed around 20 people.

The spokesman who goes by the name Abul Qaqa said the attacks were in response to an ultimatum he issued on Sunday giving Christians three days to leave the country’s mainly Muslim north.

Abul Qaqa, who has claimed to be speak on behalf of Boko Haram numerous times in the past made this statement to journalists in the northeastern city of Maiduguri by phone.

“We are responsible for the attacks in Mubi and Gombe...We are extending our frontiers to other places to show that the declaration of a state of emergency by the Nigerian government will not deter us…. We can really go to wherever we want to go. The attacks are part of our response to the ultimatum we gave to southerners to leave the north,” he said.

He called on the federal government to release all arrested Boko Haram members as a condition for attacks to stop.

Hmmh...na wa o! How about you stop killing innocent people and channel your grievances in a reasonable and civilized manner. By the way what has happened to Jomo Gbomo of MEND days.

.

SOUTH AFRICA: AFRICA'S OLDEST LIBERATION MOVEMENT, ANC CELEBRATES 100

2012-01-07T03:28:00.004-05:00

This weekend, the African National Congress celebrates its 100th year. The party, which currently holds power in South Africa was founded on January 8th 1912 n Bloemfontein. First called the South African Native National Congress, the party was formed in response to injustice meted out to black South Africans by the minority white/Afrikaan population who were in power.

One of its most famous members, the elderly anti-apartheid icon and former president, Nelson Mandela, who is 93 years old, will not be able to attend the celebrations due to his frail condition.

In some oddly related news, the King of abaThembu, Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo, has sent 60 cattle as contribution to the ANC celebration. This is in honor of his grandfather, who drove 115 cattle to Bloemfontein in 1912 when the ANC was formed.

Not sure if the driving of the cattle was done with an automobile back then, but I wonder why the King could not complete it to 100 at least, or is it safe to say recession is biting a bit.

Anyways Congrats ANC!! ( The Umbrella party that likes to tout itself as the largest party in Africa and it's fellow Broom brother of Nigeria better take note!)

UNIFORM BRUTALITY: MAN KILLED IN MUSHIN, EX POLICE IG's NEPHEW

2012-01-07T01:40:00.007-05:00

(Photo Credit: This Day)

Soldiers in the Joint military Security outfit, OP-MESSA shot dead Niyi Ehindero and injured three others in Mushin, Thursday. According to reports, Niyi is the nephew of former Inspector General of Police, Sunday Ehindero.

The incident took place at Bada Street, Idi-Oro, Mushin, Lagos, South West Nigeria around 4.30 pm when Ehindero came to the area to spend the holiday with his friend.

Eye witnesses said the deceased was inside a Highlander SUV, with registration number FF 605 ARD when he was gunned down by the team leader of the OP-MESSA, a 2nd lieutenant soldier.

The OP-MESSA officers came to the area in a vehicle marked 030 and were alleged to have immediately accosted the deceased and shot him dead without a brawl.

Ehindero, 37, who lived at 5, Ogungbade Street, Mende, Maryland was said to be a businessman who distributed in diesel and had been married for five years without a child.

A police source from the Alakara Police Station confirmed that the soldiers shot dead Ehindero and that the culprits escaped before arrest, saying that the deceased was in his SUV with his friend when the OP-MESSA officers stormed the area.

It was gathered that Ehindero’s friend ran into the house when he saw the OP-MESSA officers while the deceased waited.

An eye witness said the team leader of the OP-MESSA ordered Ehindero to get out of his SUV but opened fire on him almost immediately and he died on the spot.

According to This Day, the Nigerian Army has instituted a board on inquiry into the killing.

REST IN PEACE: TV JOURNALIST KEN WARD PASSES AWAY AT 44

2012-01-06T15:28:00.005-05:00

It is with heavy heart that I write about the shocking death my former colleague, Ken Ward, whom I shadowed several times during my days at WTVD in Durham North Carolina.

Ken was a great guy and was super hilarious. He's one of the few that I had kept in touch with since I moved to Nigeria, even reuniting for drinks at one of the fairly recent NABJ conventions. Ken helped me immensely during my time at WTVD. From the very first day he walked in to the station, he was all smiles when he stepped up to the assignment desk to introduce himself. I always looked forward to going out into the field with him on reports because he never made it feel like work.

Ken was supposed to embark on a trip on Wednesday with his family to Tampa to begin a new job with ABC affiliate, after signing of from WSOC-TV Charlotte North Carolina on December 30. According to reports, he died that morning around 2.30am that day. The cause of death is still undetermined. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family....it is well!

Adieu Ken! Rest in Peace

TERRORISM WATCH: BOKO HARAM GUNMAN AND POLICE BATTLE IN POTISKUM, YOBE

2012-01-06T14:47:00.005-05:00

BREAKING NEWS!

Fierce gun battle is going on between Police and Boko Haram in Potiskum, Yobe State.

Potiskum is a local government area in the Northern state of Yobe where Boko Haram appears to have a strong presence. It is one of the local government areas where a state of emergency has been declared. This story is still developing...

SUBSIDY STRIKE: COURT TELLS LABOR THEY CAN'T GO ON STRIKE

2012-01-06T13:45:00.007-05:00

(Photo Credit: AFP/ Getty Images)

An industrial court in Nigeria, Friday, gave authorities legal backing to break up any work interruption by labor groups. It ordered unions to halt a planned nationwide strike over spiraling gasoline prices due to the New Year's Day removal of subsidy. That action has seen the doubling of the cost of goods and services, including transportation, leaving many stranded and cash strapped in the countryside, where they went to celebrate the holiday.

The order by the National Industrial Court came as protests continue in several Nigerian cities over the removal of government-sponsored fuel subsidies. The nation’s House of Representatives will also meet on Sunday to address the concerns of the people despite the apparent unwillingness of Nigeria’s president, Goodluck Jonathan to balk to the pressure.

Gas prices rose from $1.70 per gallon (45 cents/ 65 Naira per liter) to at least $3.50 per gallon (94 cents/ 141 Naira per liter) since the subsidy ended Sunday. Keep in mind that Nigeria, is a nation of more than 160 million people where most live on less than $2 a day, as many international press and agencies never fail to add in every article and report.

The court order by Justice Babatunde Adejuwon came after the federal government filed as suit to stop the Nigeria Labor Congress and the Trade Union Congress of Nigeria from holding a planned strike Monday. Only government lawyers attended the hastily called court hearing in Nigeria’s capital Abuja.

“Economic activities within the country will be adversely affected, as will the health and safety of the citizenry, if the impending strike is allowed to hold,” Adejuwon wrote in his order.

The Nigeria Labor Congress issued a statement after the ruling dismissing the order. “There is no going back on next week’s protests and shutdown,” it said.

Meanwhile, Nigeria's federal police promised Friday to protect peaceful protesters ahead of a planned national strike but much could not be said of that promise when only a short distance away from police headquarters in the nation's capital Abuja a heavy presence of police, soldiers and other security agents — some carrying gas masks — blocked protesters from demonstrating in the national parade ground near federal offices.

Read more from the Associated Press in The Washington Post

TERRORISM WATCH: BOKO HARAM MAKES GOOD ON PROMISE, KILLS IGBOS

2012-01-06T06:28:00.012-05:00

(credit: AFP)
So Boko Haram has killed 20 people at an Ibo Town Hall meeting in Mubi.

Police officials in Adamawa state confirmed that 20 people were killed and at least 15 injured when gunmen suspected to be members of the dreaded Boko Haram sect a group of southerners in a town hall meeting.

Speaking to the Associated Press, local police commissioner Ade T. Shinaba said the attack took place on Friday at noon in Mubi, Adamawa, where a group of Igbo traders had gathered for a town hall meeting before the start of business.

"We started hearing many gunshots through the windows," Okey Raymond, 48, who attended the meeting told the AP. "Everyone scampered for safety, but the gunmen chanted: 'God is great God is great' while shooting at us."

This comes after a Deeper Life church was attacked, Thursday in Gombe and 6 killed.

First it was bombing church and now it is bombing Igbo town hall meeting. Isn't this exactly how the civil war started? As they say in Igbo, do not pull a lions tail whether it is asleep or dead. How will security agencies react to this one? Tell us not to take it seriously...?

Read more at Channels TV and Voice of America

On a different note, I've been away for a funeral in my village in the East, so I missed out on blogging the subsidy protest of this week. We don't have electricity or decent phone network, talk less of internet there and we even had to mix our small petrol with palm oil since the subsidy saga (so that bit is an embellishment to make the story juicier). Oh well there's always next week when the strike starts, work permitting.

WHY DO NIGERIANS PREFER TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES THROUGH CRISIS?

2012-01-02T16:14:00.009-05:00

One thing that's always baffled me about Nigerians is their ability to find humor in everything, even in the most morbid.

Some say it is a good trait and shows that Nigerians possess an unfettered resolve and resilience to absorb the shock of drastic policies, political and economic upheavals and even personal danger.

However, I am of the opinion that not everything should be turned into a joke where it can be helped. As much as it appears to be a strength, it is also a great weakness that I believe the powers that be are aware of and greatly exploit.

Below are some examples of the interesting interpretations of the fuel subsidy removal and its effects as shared on Black berry and various social media

Forget the motor bikes, this ram comes in handy. This will get you to your destination before the Lagos government notice and start imposing fee on the use of rams.

Exchanging brazillian/ Aunty Funmi hair extensions is also an option if you are looking for ways to internally generate revenue
A parody in the making, and the singer W4, didn't see this one coming. If you know him, kindly tell him to remix one for the masses.

Petrol is now highly expensive and thus can be stolen by family members, more so than domestic staff. One has to shine their eye and prevent the unforseen.
This one is one of those pictures where you would rather a belt to flog the person in the picture. A bottle of Hennessy is not equivalent to one liter of petrol (I would usually end at this point with an insult, but in the spirit of christmas i shall blame this one on the government)
If the rams can't hold up, import a camel.

So what are your thoughts on this idea of entertaining ourselves through crisis?

TERRORISM WATCH: MORE THREATS FROM BOKO HARAM

2012-01-02T06:46:00.007-05:00

(Photo Credit: www.world-gazetteer.com)

Agence France Press is reporting today that Boko Haram through its purported spokesman, Abul Qaqa has issued an ultimatum to Christians in the north to leave within 3 days. They are also calling on their 'muslim brothers' to vacate the south as well because they have wind of reprisal attacks.

This they say is in response to the presence of the military in the areas now under the declared state of emergency.

Qaqa said the soldiers will only kill innocent muslims.

Read full article at AFP

Well, It's not like we didn't see this one coming. Should Southerners and Christians resident or indigenous to the North start migrating down South for safety? After all a word is enough for the wise and based on president, this is how the massacres leading up to the Nigerian Civil War started. In the same vein, is Nigeria about to have a refugee crisis if this terrorist group makes good on this new threat?

BONGA OIL SPILL: WORST IN 13 YEARS, UNDER REPORTED?

2012-01-02T03:27:00.006-05:00

(Dead fish litter the shores of the Atlantic, near Orobiri Village, 12/31/11. Credit: Reuters/Akintunde Akinleye)

It appears we just won't get enough going into 2012.

During a routine operation on December 20, 2011, to transfer oil from the Bonga floating production, storage and offtake vessel to an oil tanker, less than 1.7 million gallons/40,00 barrels of oil leaked into the Atlantic Ocean off the southern coast of Nigeria, according to Shell.

Bonga field produces about 200,000 barrels of oil daily. That's 10% of Nigeria's monthly oil production, according to Reuters.

Shell says it has been working round the clock to contain and clean up the spill and has provided aerial access to journalists to see the spill foot print.

But there's some media speculation (because we have very strong juju radar detectors and know how these things usually turns out) the Bonga Oil spill, the largest in 13 years, might just be worse than reported....oh dear!

According satellite imaging, Sky Truth, the spill could have lost up to 2.4 million gallons. If this data is anything to go by, industry experts at PennEnergy say this discrepancy is likely due to the inconsistent thickness of the oil slick.

(Envisat ASAR image analyzed by SkyTruth (http://www.skytruth.org) - data courtesy European Space Agency)

After the initial containment and clean up effort, Shell estimates the remaining volume of leak as of December 25 to be less than 10,000 barrels.

But further up, towards the coastal line, where the Reuters crew visited, the villagers there are feeling the effects of an oil spill. I say an oil spill because according to the report, Shell says it's not their oil.

While villagers and environmentalists are saying the oil washing up the coast is from the Bonga accident, Shell says five ships were used to disperse and contain the spill and that should keep any oil from washing up the coast. Therefore it can't be their oil.

So who's the naughty oil spiller and sneaky environmental polluter keeping quiet and letting Shell take all the heat and how bad does it have to get before Nigerians get mad and scream bloody murder like the American did with the BP Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico?

And as much as I hate to be the pessimist, should we just assume that Shell is going to get the kid-glove treatment on this one because the minister of petroleum is a former executive of the company? Hmmh....I just wonder. Too many questions arising as this saga unfolds.

Your thoughts...

FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVED

2012-01-01T19:30:00.005-05:00

This is the announcement that greeted us in Nigeria on January 1, 2012....

PPPRA Announces Formal Removal of Subsidy on Premium Motor Spirit (PMS)
Following extensive consultation with stakeholders across the nation, the Petroleum Products Pricing Regulatory Agency (PPPRA) wishes to inform all stakeholders of the commencement of formal removal of subsidy on Premium Motor Spirit (PMS), in accordance with the powers conferred on the agency by the law establishing it, in compliance with Section 7 of PPPRA Act, 2004.

By this announcement, the downstream sub-sector of the petroleum industry is hereby deregulated for PMS. Service providers in the sector are now to procure products and sell same in accordance with the indicative benchmark price to be published forthnightly and posted on the PPPRA website.

Petroleum products marketers are to note that no one will be paid subsidy on PMS discharges after 1st January 2012.

Consumers are assured of adequate supply of quality products at prices that are competitive and non-exploitative and so there is no need for anyone to engage in panic buying or product hoarding.

The PPPRA in conjunction with the Department of Petroleum Resources (DPR) will ensure that consumers are not taken advantage of in any form or in any way.

The DPR will ensure that the interest of the consumer in terms of quality of products is guaranteed at all times and in line with international best practice.

In the coming weeks, the PPPRA will engage stakeholders in further consultation to ensure the continuation of this exercise in a hitch-free manner.

Signed:
Reginald Stanley
Executive Secretary, PPPRA

New Year's day was supposed to be a day of joy and celebration, but all that was short lived for Nigerians. The fuel subsidy removal is in place, thus opening way to not just higher cost in the price of fuel at N141 but HIGHER EVERYTHING! Tomato, bread, pepper, garri, transportation, you name it, petrol is to all these things what blood is to the body.

I'm quite livid and not sure what to write but when people wake up on a day that's supposed to be celebratory and they are greeted with bad news, how do you expect them to react? With Jubilation and rose petals? Of course not! This same sentiment is being echoed every where.

Speaking for myself, it's bad enough that I generate my own power 80% percent of the day, generate water, get crappy accommodation at New York City price, pay this, pay that and then I get hit with double in the cost of filling up my gas tank. On top of all that, when I go to church now to pray to God to come down from heaven and deliver manna, I have to do it with one eye open, in case the parishioner next to me is a suicide bomber in disguise.

Sometimes when we speak of these things it doesn't start making sense until one starts number crunching.

All of this 2 week holiday (a working one for me), I have been going through a gallon of diesel at N4,000 a day because it's too damn hot and we kinda need entertainment while we sit at home to avoid the toll gate. I find myself now having to choose between the toll gate and the blind beggar when I consider putting my lose notes (lower denominations) to use.

On a normal day it costs me the same amount, N4000 to fill up my car. That should actually last me at least 3 days, but because we spend hours in traffic jams thanks to the lack of adequate road networks, that stuff burns out really fast. I have to make the choice between filling my tank for N8000 or filling my generator so I can have a restful night. I'm literarily burning my meager earnings. I wonder what the jobless and lower income earners would do.

The annoying part is that they keep saying the fuel subsidy is benefiting the rich! Are you serious? Like really serious? Do I look like 'the rich' with my jalopy car that I'm managing? I'm absolutely befuddled and being Nigerians we will still pay because we have to survive. When will we start LIVING? Let me rephrase that, when will THEY allow US to start LIVING?

It all just seems highly unfair and insensitive. I understand the need for the removal of subsidy and the fact that government needs to cut down. I would not be so groused if the basics were in order but the fact is that they are not. So why should I be punished for the ineptness of those in leadership to do the needful? Tomorrow they will come back and be singing 'vote for me' songs right? Well, let's keep watching and see where this goes or how long it will be sustained. One thing I know for sure is that when price goes up in hard times, when good times roll around, they somehow forget to bring price down. Meanwhile, I'm now definitely buying a bicycle...no toll, no petrol for short trips to the Palms/Shoprite for grocery. Please kindly avoid knocking me off!

(photo credit: indepthafrica.com)

WELCOME TO 2012: ADDY'S BACK ON THE BLOG

2012-01-01T16:20:00.003-05:00

Well HELLO Y'ALL!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I can't believe I'm actually posting on blogger after almost 3 years. I feel like a prodigal daughter who's returned to her humble beginning or a rebel soldier back from the battle field. It's clear evidence that Nigeria is kicking my butt. However, this young blood is kicking back too and mighty hard if I may add. I sure as heck ain't going down without a fight and some collateral damage. You feel me?

Anyway, 2012 is here my people and it's quite heavily pregnant. We're praying not just for the metaphoric safe delivery, but one of sensible human beings at least. I'm so excited and do highly appreciate the emails, comments (and sometimes straight up hounding) from some of you wondering and asking if i'll get back to blogging. Although, I'm not sure why or what you guys were missing as I've been quite enthralled and entertained by some great blogs out there.

That aside I'm keying into the reason I started this blog in the first instance, which was to express myself on my own turf and terms and contribute to the debate in the media space on issues. Since I began 'operating' out of Nigeria, I've had to censor myself for various personal and ethical reasons. Permit me to throw in high stress levels, certain clauses of employment, Nigerian factor and being jaded into that mix. Ok! Fine...may be small enjoyment and laziness too should be on that list. And so before my very eyes, the world changed. Presidents died and I-pads were born and I've been stuck on Facebook. Revolutions and Recessions are coming and going and so are Revivals and Renaissance and I'm chatting away in the 'Zozo's Crazy Aunties' group on Blackberry . Some negroes are bombing up the place and my bride price is going down on discount and all I'm doing is updating my Twitter or reading Twitter Falls (Hmmh...shaking my head and rolling my eyes). Well let's just say that I've settled on a balance and all that's ended with 2011. Television journalism is great and all but Addy's back on the blog and back to the basics...writing.

For the longest time now, I've been having this itch. I've grown a couple of frogs in my throat and I've gotta 'cough' em all out before they choke me and turn me into a 'pestle-weilding' angry black woman. Basically, condition don make crayfish bend and my bottom-line (i.e finance, a universal language we all understand) is being affected and I am sure yours is too and I'm speaking about the Christmas and New Year presents given to us by our leaders in form of tolls and increased fuel price thanks to subsidy removal (others give tax cuts o). The situation is serious and that's led me back to blogging. So forget the pop-corn, I advise you bring your Kola-nut and Palm wine because we shall be needing those.

For those of you who are new to this blog experience, when you get some spare time, read some of my old postings so that you can get up to speed on my style, content and understand my 'P'. This is a cathartic process and it'll start out like learning to walk again so feel free to comment, ask my opinion on current affairs whether global or issues shaping and reshaping the Nigerian polity and we can take it from there. Thanks and Welcome (back). Let's go there, 2012!!

DREAM/THINK BIG, START SMALL, GROW FAST

2009-02-10T12:42:00.003-05:00

New Motto for 2009

My good citizens of blogville, It is good to see you in this very interesting year. Many good things have happened in 2009 and I hear there are bad things happening alongside. What I do know is that 2009 is going to be a defining year in the lives of many people. With all the job losses going on and 'insecurities' that exist (one day you are middle class and the next you are below the poverty index belt) many individuals are finally looking on the inside to tap some heat from the fire that burns in them. Yup! When you make that fall from the top of that income pyramid, the ground at the bottom can be very cold. No doubt you'll need all the heat you can get. That's why I always go back to the proverb about stars climbing in the night sky (you know...when a star is rising it always takes other stars with it so that when it falls, those stars above will shine upon it). But...leave that aside (lol...inside joke).

Everyday I get the opportunity to meet people on the job. Many of them inspiring, others not so much. One individual I met who falls in the former category is Fela Durotoye, who considers himself a social entrepreneur. Basically he is in the business of inspiring and motivating people. I am sure he also does a lot more so that description doesn't do him justice and only happens to be the hat he wore on the day I met him. You can google him if you'ld like to learn more. Fela has such a great command of conversational oratory (I make that distinction because there are some who are great in that pulpit, podium and chalk board way but are not conversational). I don't particularly remember what he came to talk about on the show but all I remember is the phrase he left behind, "Dream BIG, Start SMALL, Grow FAST".

I have heard many variations of this concept (mostly from Oprah, but I guess cos there are so many Oprahisms in my head, this one got lost in the pile) but hearing it again and put in the context of finding new opportunities in the 'Global Economic Meltdown' was like slapping it in my brain with EVOSTICK or super glue. The phrase doesn't need to be broken down further, it is what it is. Dream Big, Start Small, Grow Fast!

But to help you out just a bit, if you are trying to take control of your financial life, that in itself is a dream. To get to that point of control, you have to take that small step. That leap of faith. The word leap can confuse people but a leap need not be like jumping off a cliff. Let's say you have a spending problem, a leap can be taking a simple step like cutting up all your credit cards and spending cash only when you need something. It could be creating and living on a budget and making wise spending choices. By taking that small step you can reach your goal of controlling your finances and watch your savings grow. That little change along leaves you with available funds to invest or start a business with and watch your financial life grow. That's the simplest way I can describe this. And you can apply it to anything in life really. Starting a business, excelling at the work place, new projects, spiritual life, family life etc.

Anyways that's my little dose of inspiration for ya'll. Not as profoundly conveyed but who cares about semantics as long as you get the point. Sharing is caring they say, so go out there and create or re-create your own destiny. So stick this phrase on top of your bathroom mirror so you see it every time you brush your teeth, shave or put your make up on. Dream BIG, Start SMALL, Grow FAST!!

( By the way- I don't know about you but in 2008 we rejected Poverty...casting and binding it to the bottomless pit, as my mother would always say whenever she prays. In 2009 we don't know how to SPELL...povty.... povari...pofti...pohvahtee....LOL. You get my point. AMEN SOMBORI!!!)

CRUNCHED AND CRUMBLED CHRISTMAS

2008-12-19T05:28:00.002-05:00

2ND YEAR IN NIGERIA

The time of the year to take stock has come again and I am still in Nigeria. By this time 2006 when I was packing all my baggage and leaving America, I was sure I would be doing the opposite this year. This especially with the prospects of having a black president. Not that that would have changed too much of anything. Oh well I am still here and that in itself is giving me sleepless nights added to the fact that the stock options acquired for the year 2008 weren't as impressive as I'd hoped. Literally and metaphorically speaking. Anyway, one of these days I will pause and give you a summary of my 2 years in Nigeria. We might just visit subjects I rarely talk about. Who knows. That aside, the euphoria of Christmas has been crunched and crumbled down thanks to bad 'stock' market, that I hardly recognize where I am. I don't know what it looks like where you are. These days I am jaded about everything and completely clueless as to where this 'transition' is going to land me. So I have a new mantra and that's letting life happen. As 2009 heads in, I'm just gonna let life happen and stop trying to be so calculated. Sometimes you just need to allow the square peg own the round hole and that's just what I am gonna be doing. So here's to square pegs in round holes. All the best everyone as we usher in a new year. Thanks for sticking around for as long as you have to read up on my exploits. Do come back in 09.

MY VOTE FINALLY COUNTED....

2008-11-05T10:07:00.002-05:00

Now I'm One Step Away From Being More Than I Can Be......

WE DID IT AMERICA!!!

NOW ALL WE NEED IS A FEMALE PRESIDENT IN 2016!!!

CAST YOUR VOTES IN HONOR OF....

2008-11-04T08:31:00.005-05:00

If Not For Anything Else....

AND ALL THE OTHERS WHO FOUGHT FOR A DAY LIKE THIS IN AMERICAS HISTORY AND WILL PROBABLY BE WISHING THE WERE ALIVE TO SEE THIS DAY. THEY ARE WITH THE MOVEMENT IN SPIRIT AND ARE CASTING THEIR VOTES TOO....

THE CHANGE IS COMING....ARE YA'LL READY...CAN YOU HANDLE IT!!!

(YES I AM OFFICIALLY AND UNASHAMEDLY PUBLICLY DECLARING MY SIDE IN THIS WHOLE GAME. I AM BLACK AND PROUD TO ALSO BE AN AMERICAN FROM AFRICA. NIGERIAN LEADERS NEED TO TAKE A LEAF FROM ALL THIS AND STOP SHORT CHANGING US -- LITERARILY )

THE FACE OFF: OBAMA OR MCCAIN

2008-11-04T07:32:00.002-05:00

Day 2 and 3

It has been a roller coaster ride leading up to today. The d-day. The polls have opened and I am down with allergies, The benedryl is shutting me out. The fact that I am the camera man is also 'not cute'. BUt hey...doing what I have to do. On Sunday one crew went off on a 5 hour drive to Ohio while I stayed in the city to attend a church service at the historic Quinn Chapel AME church in downtown Chicago where there was a very moving sermon. This church played a huge role in the underground railroad days when black slaves treid to make their way up to Canada to gain their freedom. Leaders like Ida B Wells and Martin Luther also stopped their to make speeches. Even Susan B Anthony of the women's suffrage movement. Then later on we sat with the Young Republicans of Chicago as they set up the final touches of their election night party. They agree they are the underdog but are fighting to the finish. After dealing with a few 'house keeping' with the entire crew, we set off to speak with the cook county elections clerk recorder and then guess who showed up in the hood. ASIWAJU!!! The former governor of Lagos State Bola Tinubu Uh hmh. I envisage some of ya'll scratching your head. Apparently he is in town as an election observer. He set us up with some of his contacts. Alderman Carrie Austin and Congressman Danny K Davis. We had been trying to get tickets to the Grant Park event for months but that didn't pan out and neither did getting press accreditation. However, the congressman got us tickets and his office is working on the press passes. As per 'West AFrican Media Corp.' Today we are checking out of Elk Grove and heading to a hotel downtown. We'll be going to some polling precincts and checking out what's happening as polls open up in 26 states. I had to hire a freelance cameraman for $400 to cover for me as I feel like a cat whose head is stuck in a jar.

THE FACE OFF: OBAMA OR MCCAIN

2008-11-02T03:42:00.003-05:00

Covering the US Elections: Day 1 (JUST REALIZED I NEVER POSTED THIS)

It's 4.45 AM Chicago time, which is 10.45 AM Nigerian time and I cannot sleep as we head into the second full day of our bid to cover the US elections. Basically our 'guerrilla' crew of Nigerian journalists arrived Chicago late Friday night aboard Delta Airlines. That flight was not funny at all. Not only was it just too long, it was a bit too scary as we had some serious turbulence in the middle of the Atlantic. As in come and see people firing prayers like we were in some Mountain of Fire Prayer and Deliverance service. In my head I started going over the sins I had committed before embarking on the trip and started asking God for forgiveness. I mean if it was my time, that's the least I could do to make the passage through 'the golden gates' less stressful since we can't tip the 'winged bouncers'. I shall comment some other time on the turbulence matter. But back to the 'guerrilla news crew' made up of Silverbird TV, Channels and a lone guy from the Punch Newspaper. MBI is supposed to be joining us today and I imagine the folks from 'This Day' are living large in some of the key cities and states. If they can spend all that money on concerts and spiffed up satellite technology they better give me LIVE VIDEO on the pages of their newspaper. Yes o. As a reader of their newspaper, that's the least they owe me. Dunno about ya'll. I am sure NTA and AIT are equally capable to the task so if you want a Nigerian style reporting on the election (mostly phone-ins and commentary) make sure you tune in to STV. It is not like we will 'do pass' CNN or 'BBC' but 'we dey try the wan wey we fit'.

We've settled for a Days Inn near the airport as opposed to downtown just because we figured we would need transportation for our equipment and road travel to neighboring towns. It was wiser to spend the money on transportation rather than comfort. Unfortunately I am the only person in the crew who has been to America or been here more than a week so naturally I have to play mother hen. We practically spent the whole day securing all the things we needed (finding a hotel down town only to discover that because we are cash customers we would have to pay walk in rate of twice the online listing as the only available and acceptable credit card, mine, could not hold the entire amount), establishing contacts, renting a van and Nigerian driver/guide (this worked out as he rented the van added me as second driver and we just reimbursed him). Now all this may not have been the case if I was rolling solo and I am sure the other guys would have 'sorted' themselves out eventually but by golly I would be a cold heartless bitch if I decided to pull the 'competition' card and not send anybody. That's the 'nice girl' in me talking and as I write this I can see one of my new self help manuals "NICE GIRLS DON'T GET RICH by Lois Frankel" saying "don't do it gurl, don't do it, don't be nice, not now..." (I'm now placing a pillow over it...I will pull it out when I get on the plane. Ya'll ladies need to read that and NICE GIRLS DON'T GET THE CORNER OFFICE by the same author. I'll blog about these books soon).

So right now we are all squared off and ready to start working on some stories. I haven't been very lucky with many of my US media industry contacts as it seems everybody is busy and bogged down trying to get their own election scoops and all that drama that plays out. Oh the fun of election coverage. How I miss that. I used to hate it in the past when I had to be the one collecting and collating the election data back at WTVD. Paying my dues. Now I can't wait for the elections to come. It needs to come like every two years or may be there should be a 'popularity or favorability' election two years before the general election so that junkies like me can get our fix.

Yes the coverage unfortunately cannot be wholesome as the interest of our viewership is because Obama is in the race (The theory of 'Obama's to win and his to lose'). I know how that sounds in general as a cynical and highly sarcstic Nigerian myself who can easily kill someones excitement and enthusiasm about something with a wave of my hand, a hiss and an "abeg, abeg'.

THE STORY OF THE MYSTERY GUCCI RING

2008-10-09T12:40:00.002-04:00

Paranormal Activity or Just plain Paranoia?

Word Up my people. Hope you are keeping hope alive, not just waiting for change but being part of the force that will create that change. So many things have been happening. First of all I must be congratulated on taking a bold step and owning real property of my own in Lagos. A mattress. Yes, indeed I finally own something. It is an achievement considering the high cost of living in this city. I was coasting in my hermit status until a certain wind blew my way and I had to find another place of shelter. Sadly. I was enjoying the hotel/dormitory life of 'the guest house'. No responsibilities, no obligations, constant electricity but nearly deafened from the generator. The food was good but occasionally the cook messed up and I had to pay for it. But all of that has now changed. I have to do housework, cook and clean and worst of all pay bills and additional salary. Living with my parents never looked more enticing. So if you are tight handed and frugal like I am and you are about to move from your parents home. DON'T!! If your concern is that they will kill your mojo and prevent you from tripping, just give them a nice 'working late', 'company retreat' excuse or just buddy up with a friend in your favorite 'play' destination and chip in grocery every now and then to cover for your food. I also now have a better appreciation for Criagslist and those friendly neighborhood yard sales. Can you imagine I went to one of those fancy and well decorated furniture showrooms and the price tag for a couch (may be it was the set) read "N650,000". An equivalent of just about $6000. For GINI? Oche!?! chair...a variation of a stool...a log and two stumps of a tree trunk...one cinder block. Please how much is it at 'Rooms-To-Go'? I didn't wait for anyone to tell me to go to the carpenter under the tree at the Chevron Round-About. At least I know the man is excited to be making furniture for a 'VIP client' who will at least recommend him to other members of the 'VIP caucus'. Then I have to find a cook if I want to keep this little weight that I have gained. That or I begin to cook. I tried it last night. Indomie noodles, microwaved heinz baked beans with chopped avocado and cucumbers on the side. It was indeed a daunting task but I ended up with a nice platter. I will try cooking again tonight. Same delicacy might just throw in some canned sardines and corned beef. Sadly. Will probably end up getting pounded yam and egusi from Tantalizer or Moi-Moi from Chicken Republic. Oh the misery.

Anyways to the real story I wanted to share. About something very strange. I am not sure if I am just being paranoid or I should be really concerned. The other day I picked out a hand bag to go out with my sister. The bag was empty when I picked it out and I put in all the stuff that I needed. Money, lip gloss, sunglasses, powder, a pen and my book. We visited a number of people, had lunch with a client, went to the tailor and ran a few errands at the market. Later that night I went out with a friend and had the same purse. Fortunately, being that this is Lagos, I didn't spend any money so I had exactly the same amount I started with. The next day I went to my friend's mother's 10 year remembrance at Unilag Chapel. Unfortunately for me they have two services simutenously, one catholic and one anglican. Yours truly went to the catholic service and was wondering to herself, "this certainly does not look like an anglican set up". I then went up to the attendant and was directed to the other service which was just rounding up. Suffice to say, the spirit has been calling me and decided to allow me publicly embarrass myself. Anyway after hanging with her family I went home and set out to clean my purse and transfer things to my work bag. Then I made an odd discovery. A silver men's ring with the word Gucci 'perforated' into it on two sides. A very tacky and N.C., for 'no class' ring. Automatically I assumed it belonged to my driver so I thought nothing of it and waited for him to come to work the next day. I asked him and he said it was not his. I asked a few of the folks in my office thinking may be it fell into my bag. No one took ownership. Then I started getting interested in finding who owned this ring. I decided to call my family members. Although I knew they would never own such I still had to satisfy my curiosity. I called everybody I knew who could possibly have fingers that large. I was afraid they would say they didn't own it because it was a rather tacky ring. This got me very concerned, especially when I looked in my bag and the money I had there was SHORT. I tried to retrace my expenditure but could not account for a huge chunk of money. Then I thought to myself, could the missing money be related to the discovery of the ring? And then to add to my paranoia, I have been getting 'proposals' from strange people. Some who have been persistent I have had to shout down and others I have turned down nicely. HOWEVER...nigerian men don't give up and are known to try 'spiritual' means. Now the first thing my sister told me to do was as long as I had the ring with me I needed to put it in a bible. Another suggested that may be I had come in contact with some of these crooked money changing mallams who do abracadabra for you and disappear with your money. Then someone said to me that I have been contracted in a 'spiritual engagement' and of course my answer was "Olounmaje... God Forbid'. I have covered myself with the B.O.J (Blood of Jesus) and since thrown the ring away though and will go to church on my own volition on Sunday for the first time since I moved back to Nigeria nearly 2 years ago (not because of this but because I have been meaning to do so and the spirit pushing me towards a particular church has been nudging me harder). So back to the mysterious ring. My question now is how did it get into my bag, who owns it and where did my money go to? Do I have reason to be concerned or is this one of those funny things that happen in life that you just can't explain? Has this or something similar ever happened to you? Holla and MAKE SURE YOU VOTE IF YOU CAN.

ADVICE TO BRIGHT EYED YOUNGSTERS AND UPWARDLY MOBILE PROFESSIONALS........

2008-09-09T08:35:00.003-04:00

From your neighborhood bi-cultural 'ELDER'...

Odd title. But it fits the mood I am in right now. I have not written a blog entry in a while. It's like I am sitting silent as our world changes by the second. The political landscape has turned into a potential landslide and much to my chagrin, I have not churned out anything sensible. This writer's bloc is taking too long or may be life is truly beginning to take over. That aside, today I was just thinking about so many things and the one that stuck out for me is the fact that I am not fluent in another UN WORKING LANGUAGE.

In this day and age of global convergence, this fact is depressing. I actually tried to learn French but I am sure I have told you that story. F9. JSS 3 WAEC. I remember the whoopings I got from my late french teacher Mr Oyetunji, and Mrs Ojo just because I could not conjugate verbs in French. But my rebellion towards 'another man's' language (except for the English language) started in Primary 5 when I walked to my then headmistress's office with my Yoruba Exam paper filled with Zeros ( badly draw sad smiley faces) and several red markings, crying that I would not place in the top 15 of the class (my apologies for being one of the regular kids who knew their place was definitely not top 5 and never wasted time agonizing over that) and would she consider offering IGBO language so we could choose. I think in that year's end of term exam I may have influenced my friends to leave their exam papers blank in protest. I am not sure who else did but I know my fellow rebel, Enuka left her paper blank, my dad petitioned and the next semester there was an option to be exempted from Yoruba (really only because it was our final year and Yoruba was not offered in common entrance). I would use this form of protest (blank exam paper) later on after several attempts at trying to learn maths. But unfortunately for me, I paid for it later on in life. If not for the Holy Spirit that intervened and softened my dean's heart to my numerical learning challenges. I swear mathematics was like greek. Impossible to learn. But I digress.

My mother speaks Hausa fluently because she grew up in the North until the Civil War sent them packing. We used to marvel at the way she would engage the meat selling mallams at Sabo Market, our may-guard 'Ali the Kasali' (Kasali was a gate-man character from an NTA TV show) or even the Abokis who change dollars. Not one of us cared to learn it because back then we were like, 'whatever, that's the language of the oppressive ethnic group and the corrupt leaders in government, we'ld never need it cos we'ld never go to the north anyways'. So we brushed it aside. Big mistake. When I went along on that Sahara trip, my dumb ass discovered that Hausa is the most widely spoken language in West Africa. All the way into Mali. If someone had told me way back when I was still rocking 'Kotina' that I would go on that expedition, may be I would have made an effort to know more than just counting 1 to 10 in Hausa. Even that I don't even remember. But my new goal while I am still here in Nigeria (as you might recall my deadline is meant to be up this December but I have extended it to a 'yet-to-be-determined' date o. LOL. Please don't ask me why but it has a lot to do with my portion of the National Cake for which I am still mixing the flour and egg) I would try to get working knowledge or the Hausa language, improve my Yoruba and get better at my french.

Which brings us back to UN WORKING LANGUAGES, which include ARABIC, FRENCH, SPANISH, CHINESE/MANDARIN, ENGLISH and RUSSIAN. PORTUGUESE, ITALIAN, FARSI, URDU, SWAHILI are not but these are widely spoken languages in certain regions that having working knowledge of or ability to carry conversations in them can be useful. The BBC is one of a few international organizations that actually lists HAUSA as one of it's major broadcast language. Read more about the Top Ten languages HERE

So that I don't waste your time with gibberish. Let me go straight to my advice. Along with the language of your Father/mother (if you don't have one, for the purpose of driving my point home borrow your favorite neighbor's or friend's. A language that is, but I guess 'renting-a-parent' might work too). If your father/mother speaks only one language, trace your lineage until you hit a foreign language. Except you are from England or you just happen to be able to read this because you are 'exposed' or are one of the many whose ancestors relocated or were forced to the New World, chances are you will hit a Foreign language. Trust me, if you learn it, It could be the JACK POT in your life somewhere down the road. If you are a parent and you have young impressionable children, don't just teach them their own native tongue, teach them 2 more languages. Start them off in an ALL French/Spanish speaking creche or nursery school. Send them to language camp or summer school. If yo are an adult, attend language classes. There won't be any more pressure now that your grades don't depend on it. I think IF grades were not an issue I would KNOW french by now. Today's world is one where if you can't speak more than one language, preferably a UN WORKING LANGUAGE, you are under qualified. It's NO LONGER just enough to speak just IGBO or just YORUBA or your own native tongue. So now that you are armed with this little advice that I have been burdened with get out there and get MULTI-LINGUAL. It's never too late to start. WORD UP!!

Incase I am not convincing enough or you are one of those hard head who said 'pssh..what am I gonna do with a foreign language?" HERE is a list of opportunities you might be preventing yourself from taking advantage of (notice how my field is listed as #1. i'M SCREWED!! Where was google in my freshman year. LOL.)

WHERE IS THE KOKO?

2008-08-06T16:14:00.005-04:00

A narration of my D'Banj 'super fanatic' moment

Disclaimer: This write up is purely fiction. A fabricated series of events created by a subconscious being (meaning I had no control or imput) that exists only in my imagination (meaning it is not a real event). Just so you don't get confused, I'd suggest you look up the word 'fiction' in Webster. Some of the 'situations' described all happened while I was in lala land (meaning I was in a state that fits into the following verbs and adjectives: comatose, dormant, drowsy, hypnotic, latent, lethargic, oscitant, phlegmatic, quiescent, sleeping, sleepy, somnifacient, somniferous, somnolent, soporiferous, soporific, yawning...meaning it never really happened even though it seems like it did). I must also add that I don't know D'banj on a personal level, have had physical contact with him only 3 times, all work related, and have never made an attempt to stalk him by showing up at events where he's performing. I happen to just happen to BE there also...for work you know. Even with the 'workfactor' I consciously stay away from 'too much D'Banj sightings' because I don't want to be 'desensitized'. I mean I'ld like to walk into the grocery store and see D'banj, hold my breathe and faint because I've blocked oxygen from my brain. The worst thing that could happen is for me to see D'banj and just be like 'hey dude, wassup'. As the African Michael Jackson, I kinda want him to be scarce so that I can get a high and go gaga when I do run into him. I mean would you really wanna see MJ all the time. No. While I will not hold D'banj in such high esteem as I accord John Legend, I'ld say he's pretty high up there you know. Remember how I bonded with John Legend and sobbed as he sang to me and we made a heart to heart connection and how he lifted me out of the rut of a broken heart? Err well D'banj is not that kind of 'rebound' guy. He's like the 'bad boy rocker dude' that you run off with just to make your ex-boyfriend jealous for breaking up with you. EAT THAT S.O.B!! (aaaagain...I must re-iterate that this is aaallll fiction and this statement is only a metaphor to better describe the image I am conjuring. It's in no way refering to any 'EXs'...work with me guys)Which brings me to the story of the 'Missing Koko'....here goes

One certain weekend, not too long ago, I was going through the blues, locked up in my hole of a room, watching pirated DVD's of 'Army Wives' and 'Girlfriends'. It was also raining cats and dogs and the whole of VI looked like the Atlantic Ocean had taken over. Suffice to say no cats or dogs drowned during the course of the day. Through out the month I had been inaundated with radio hypes, tv promos and an overkill of songs from the Mohits crew and D'banj's new album, The Entertainer. I set my ringtone to 'I'm Hot and u're not...mogbono filly filly..and i had hot amala for dinner." Ya'll know the song.The highlight of all this 'Dbanjmania' was to culminate in a big album lauch weekend at the Eko Hotel Expo Center on July 26th. As fate would unfortunately have it, this would be the same weekend that I was scheduled to be in Chicago for the UNITY conference to get my dose of 'OBAMAQUINE'. Now that just seems like a really tough choice to make. Stay back to see the 'koko wielding musician' or the 'koko stimulating american politician' (the original sense of the word as it were when I was growing up, as in your brain. E.g 'your koko is not correct') but I had to make the choice nonetheless and d'Bama won over the kokomaster (sorry honey). As a super fanatic of the kokomaster and an official kokolette, as chirstianed by a scintiallting stage dance duet, this prospect was rather unsettling for me. I had been looking forward to the new album and seeing another performance of that new hit 'IGWE'. That song sends a frenzy of goosebumps all over my body. I have heard that beat before but only in the very old school of all old school highlife music and here we are in 2008 and it's being rebirthed in a hit by D'banj. I was shocked speechless when I was privy to a sample of the song. Anyways I was going through a very traumatic period and I guess my mental state could not handle it. I was so distraught that I chose not to attend two events where D'banj was going to be present just so that I could 'deal' with 'my issues' and my D'banj seperation anxiety. To make matters even worse, D'banj agreed to be on the morning show the day after I'd already left for Chicago. It doesn't get worse than that does it. So my spirit just could not take the bashing any longer. So I went to sleep a depressed D'banj fanatic. The following just happen to reveal how intense this feeling of disappointed was and a continuation of my 'D'banj misfortunes'. And when I say misfortunes, I mean life cannot get any crueler than this....

Lights, Camera, Action!!! I found myself in the middle of so much commotion. Fans and frenzied photographers clicking away and screaming on the otherside of the red velvet rope. I couldn't make out what they were saying but they were screaming and to my shock and dismay I was on the red carpet in the middle of all the chaos. If you know me you'll know how much I dread those 'pseudo-celebrity' things and you can imagine the fear that engulfed me as I stood there blinded by the lights and not sure where to go or what to do. Then all of a sudden here comes D'banj dressed in a very sharp designer pinstripe suit, looking like he just stepped out of GQ or may be MODE or is it MADE? Ofcourse he had his sunglasses on and this time for some reason, Don Jazzy who's always with him, had a gold 'PIMP CUP' instead of his walking stick. Hmh...odd. So there I was standing in the middle of the wolves and D'banj, like a knight in shining armor heroicly holds my hand and briskly whisks me away from all the paparazzi nonsense into what seemed like a white Bentley ( 9ce are you sure it ain't yours). Then just like Princes Di and Dodi, Brad and Angelina, we were chased down by the paparazzi as Don Jazzy who was in the driver's seat tried to avoid them all (I have to say I have been watching too many movies and music videos). Throughout all of this I could sense a big cloud of fear and danger. Then some how we were able to cut off the paparazzi and found ourselves having dinner at a nice fancy ritzy restaurant. Now it looked like it was Jade Palace with a nicer News Cafe like front (Paris/ Hollywood restaurant style setting with a clear glass screen so you could look in). Apparently we were on a date. Yes indeed we were and we were having red wine and pasta alfredo, my favorite, but thinking about it, it could have just been indomie noodles. Sadly our dumb asses decided to sit right infront of the glass screen (as if we had any control over that really). Then the worst happened. We were spotted and the paparazzi frenzy continued. We had to scurry out of the restaurant, again with our huge dark black sunglasses. For some reason the huge dark sunglasses were very important. This time D'banj gave me his jacket to cover my face. By this time it was clear and there was no doubt that we were dating and were trying to avoid the paparazzi. This idea being highly laughable. Not saying that either of us is unworthy in any way (actually I should shame the devil and admit that I am because his celebritiness is like about to cause a mechanical malfunction on the super-star size-o-meter), but seriously, the picture deserves a great big ROTF&LMAO. Anyways the next scene was infront of what looked like a beach, may be Ocean View or Eko Hotel or something but there was an ocean in the picture. It was at night and it seemed like there was a party and friends, family and the Mohits Crew were all over the place. But you just can't believe that this was apparently a wedding, between me and Dbanj. Indeed it was and again I had no control over this and even though I am not making this up myself, my brain actually was. When I told my friend about this he was like if I had this dream in Chapel Hill it would be something to have a good laugh over but considering that I had it in Nigeria AND infront of an ocean (lol) I needed to be concerned that it was not a spiritual attack. You know, that Papa Wata had taken the form of D'banj to marry me...some bullshit like that. Even though I don't believe in all that I still prayed and covered myself and my home in the blood of Jesus. But back to the story o. So D'banj and I exchanged nuptials and proceeded to walk down the aisle on a red carpet to the flashing paparazzi. All the tabloids including 'People Magazine' (all the way in Americas grocery stores) had a picture of us on the cover. The one in People magazine was the 'classic' wedding picture. D'banj with one leg out the car door like he was about to come out and then me in a demur chantilly lace cathedral style wedding dress in the back, both of us, again, with the huge black hollywood specs and confetti all over the place. The caption 'DBANJURE HITCHED'. This 'psychoness' does not end here. I know I am putting my rep on the spot and you may never see me that same way again and I may never look at another D'banj video the same way again. I may never even 'SEE' D'banj again and might even get a restraininng order against me but this stuff is too freaking funny to pass up blogging about and keeping to myself. I swear I tried but I have been bursting by ribs just holding it all in. I have told all my family members and close friends and they got a great laugh as I dramatized this to them so ya'll can also have this good laugh on me...it's ok.

So the magazine stands were filled with the 'DBANJURE' People magazine cover in Baby Blue and Pink. Access Hollywood, The Insider and Entertainment Tonight (tabloid magazine shows on american tv) all had the 'DBANJURE' wedding as their cover story. Nacy O'dell, Billy Bush and co were reporting the story. It was all happening like a flash. All of this before we had even gotten to the hotel to begin our honeymoon and consumate the marriage. Get ready for it...

So that night it was time to 'do the do'. Apparently we had not gotten to 3rd base in our relationship (because apparently we both believed in waiting till the wedding night). I use apparently alot because there's supposed to be a number of underlying moral lessons in this whole thing. So we found ourselves in some bollywood style luxury hotel suite. When I say Bollywood I mean it was straight up decorated with red and yellow carnation and garlands. By now we were dressed in Indian wedding garb while in the room. Dbanj sat across from me holding my hands and professing his love as we stared lovingly into each others eyes like rabbits. Our hearts going 'duh dum duh dum'. We were both nervous and waiting for someone to make the first move. I mean this is the Kokomaster himslef and I am getting married to him. He is about to whip out the 'anaconda' that he's been singing about all this while and because he was on the absitinence tip it was a special 'unveiling' of the koko. All this while though I had been wondering why he wasn't making the first move now, considering he's the sexiest super star in Nigeria oozing of all kinds of sex appeal. So I decided to take charge, taking off his shirt and revealing his ripped and chiseled abs. Then he lay on the bed with his hands under his head and a sinister grin on his face that told me I was in for a BIG SURPRISE. Indeed I was as I reached down for the jewels, the almighty Koko. At that point I might have had a heart attack and just didn't realize it (duh you were sleeping through it) as I made a shocking discovery. There I was with the sexiest nigerian entertainer alive who sold his sexuality along with his music, gyrating on stage, threatening to come through with his 'anaconda' and creating all sorts of sexual innuendos. Just the thought of him made girls go gaga and here I was in my subconscious where even though I had no control, my inhibitions could have taken over and created the newest and hottest edition of 'Mills and Boons: Jungle Series' with me and Dbanj as the star characters. The title, 'Anaconda' perhaps. But no that's not what happened as I reached down to touch the koko. I felt something hard alright but at the same time I felt NOTHING, NADDA, ZILCH. I looked up at Dbanj, perplexxed. He still had that sinister grin accross his face. By now I am scared to death and I turn on the lights and tear his pants off to see if what I felt was real. It was real alright, REAL PLASTIC. As in a Ken Doll. There was no KOKO. Dbanj was a eunuch and by now his abs also seemed so plastic that it dawned on me that I was with a life size Mattel version of D'banj, complete with a goatie, shiny black hair and white pants (An Idea for Dbanj, you have to get your own 'KokoMaster DOLL' seriously dude...and no one should steal this idea EXCEPT D'banj). Then all of a sudden this lifesize D'banj doll gets up and starts to sing one of his hits 'Where is the Koko, Pass the Koko, I need the Koko". OMG!!! I was so tormented and scared to death that just as he broke into the part of that song where he goes 'Kokolette 1,2 in my room 3.4" I woke up from my sleep soaked in sweat and heavy eyed because apparently I had been crying in my sleep because I had been BAMBOOZLED into marrying D'banj. I was all panicky for a bit not sure why I felt strange when I woke up. It wasn't until late that evening as I was renarrating to my sister's friend, after telling my sisters, this wierd dream that I had that I really recalled the whole story and started laughing my head off. Boy is this bizzare or what. I know there are some of you dream readers and interpreters out there who can shed light on this silliness. But for the purpose of entertainment and 'self improvement' analysis, is there something else going on that I should be paying attention to. There's so much going on here and I just think Dbanj was just the closest thing my subconscience could latch unto, even though I think this is really all stemming from the Dbanj album launch overkill. I mean seriously there was just a bit too much hype about the album and it is indeed fabulous, but it drove me nuts as evidenced by this write up. Then I also think with a number of weddings coming up, people getting engaged and the fact that I do try to keep to myself, staying inconspicuous when I can help it, my brain must have jumbled a few facts and created this hilarity of a dream. Anyways was this as funny or just plain wacko? Your thoughts...

Enjoy this selection of Dbanj Hits and see why we're all crazy about him...

LADIES, WHAT'S IN YOUR PURSE?

2008-06-16T14:35:00.011-04:00

Bag Lady, You Gon' Hurt Ur Back

So I just got my July edition of True Love magazine. There's an interesting article in it that I thought was brilliant in its simplicity. It's basically taking a look into women's purses and exposing what they carry in it. It's so interesting how the content of ones purse can tell ones personality or be totally different from it. Well I was so intrigued by the concept of finding out what's in women's purses that I decided to do a knock-off of the article. This time I ambushed unsuspecting ladies at STV and even volunteered myself randomly. No time to pull out the Sunday best designer bag here. LOL. So let's check out what interesting things you can find...(I think you should all try this with your friends and family members, if not out of curiosity, then do it out of boredom.) You are welcome to analyze the victims below based on the content of their purses.

THE PURSE PATROL VICTIMS

Amanda Akpan, Production AssistantAmanda's bag shows a different side to her. Amanda is a go getter who can be 'stern' and 'aggressive' with work but the girly color coded appearance (mostly pink) and self help books showed a softer side.

The Content:

Diva Principle by Michelle Mckinney Hammond, Street University by Helen Sosu, a pink journal and organizer labelled Bad Girl, Just for U magazine, pink nail polish in different shades, medication and a pair of sunglasses

Victoria Pepple, Production Assistant and Presenter (411 on J.A.J's Top 10 Countdown):

Victoria's bag was highly pathetic, well except for the fact that it's a real Coach bag so she got a cool 'babe point' there (lol...do you know how much that costs in Naira). The experiment made her realize the content of her bag which was mostly make-up made her look like an air head (her own words), which she is so not.

Content:

Always (for when Aunty Flo crashes the party), Mac Powder, Mary Kay powder, a jumbo powder brush, Estee Lauder Lip Gloss, 3 lip liner pencils, a comb, a pen, a Nokia phone, a christian novel, The Oath, and a pair of real Ferragamo sunglasses (another babe point..had to fish for something for her now)

Vivian Akinyosoye, news anchor and business reporter Vivian is a working reporter 24/7 and that reflects in the content of her bag. She's been hanging around a lot of younger people just by being at STV and confesses that she needs help converting to our side of hippness.

The Content:

A Sony camcorder and charger, a box of mini dv tapes and some extras, a Starcomms and Nokia phone, pens, a number of well worn out organizers and diaries, 3 check books, a shaving stick, a yellow toothbrush, a range of matching Mary Kay products ranging from brush to powder and eye shadows Estee Lauder lip gloss, the wine floral scarf, hand cream and an empty bottle of perfume. She also had some chocolate cake wrapped in tissue which she is munching on in the picture. (lol)

Abigail, Production and Programming Assistant Abigail is very quiet and soft spoken. I am not sure her purse said much, except for how important her religion is to her.

Content:

The Holy Bible, A Word For Today booklet, her glasses, a black wallet, make up pouch, a compact foundation (Revlon, I think) A strawberry lip balm, a hair brush, a yellow compact mirror, some q-tips, a bangle, a can of Nixoderm (don't act like ya'll don't remember that one for the pimples) and a tube of Bleaching Cream (for the black raccoon ring around her eyes from wearing glasses)

Layole Oyatogun, Entertainment Reporter and Segment Producer ('Page 3')

Layole's purse was majorly dry. Even she admits it. There wasn't much in it.

The Content:

2 combs, a lip liner, a toothbrush for her hairline 'bunions', a pair of sunglasses (she confesses they are GSB --Go Slow Bones -- the ones the hawkers sell in traffic jams), a floral make up pouch, hand cream, clear nail polish, white powder, Glow By J-LO hand cream, a black Pashmina, a compact mirror in silver case and a set of keys with a girly key chain.

AND TO THE MOTHER OF ALL BAGS -- MY BAG!!

Ok I have always been a serious BAG LADY. I carry 3 bags to work. A back pack with all my computing and interneting gadgets, a medium 'kwanangida' type bag with my changing clothes and tennis shoes and my BLUE ALL WEATHER bag that Aldo will probably reject when they hear what I put in it. Interestingly I'd just reduced the content when I had changed purses over the weekend and forgot to put things back. Ya'll know about me so let's get straight to the nitty gritty

THE CONTENT:

a black journal that serves as my reporter's note book, a dvd documentary on Ethiopia -LALIBELA, a camera, a Nokia communicator, a hair brush, one comb, 2 pairs of sunglasses Diesel and Liz Clairborne (I keep the GSB in the car), MAC C8 powder, 1 pink black radiance lip gloss, pink shimmer lip gloss by Tara Orekelewa, Candy Pink lip gloss by Sleek and generic lip glosses in brown and clear (trying to achieve Angelina Jolie lips with all that puckering up), my check book, a tampon, Fashion Fair hand cream, PK chewing gum from the Mallam at La Casa, some generic Eye drop for smog/dust irritation, Dr. Miracle Hair Gro for my receding hairline, camcorder battery and pack (never got around to taking it out with the camcorder), blue bead and gold chain necklace I got from the Franklin Street Thrift store in Chapel Hill, A Flag of Nigeria lapel Pin,

A CD of MAY7EVEN's single, a powder brush, breathe mints in a blue case, Bvulgari perfume just because the bottle is cute and people always ask for perfume but I hardly wear it cos perfs gimme a head ache, different earrings and necklaces and the most interesting of all, carry overs from the Sahara trip, Flagil and Imodium because you never know when the food you eat won't augur well with your system. You best never leave home without 'em.

My sister's I-pod which I borrowed (I don't won one yet), 3 mini DV tapes, an adaptor plug for my random travels, a sewing kit, my company ID, my wallet, a MY LAST CARD -- few Naira, dollar and Ghana cedi notes (as you can see I'm broke)

Here's what I took out; My mosquito repellent spray, my sleeping eye mask for the doggone traffic and a tub of balm for mosquito and sand fly bites

That's all the crap I carry in my bag, what's in yours and good luck trying to figure me out with this one. Lol. You know whose bag I really wanna take a peek at...My mother's. I can't just imagine what I'll find now. Back then she would carry all sorts, from sweets and biscuits to 'guguru and epa' (Nigerian style sugared popcorn and peanuts). She would not tell you she brought something home from work but would send you on an errand to go and bring her bag. That's when you'll se the Ben Johnson's of the Achumba Family, racing to get the bag first to win the prize of 'Guguru and Epa'. Gone are those simple days. Now all everyone wants is Debonair's Pizza and Cactus Forest Cake...unhealthy junk food. C'mon lets eat more nuts people (uh uuh... not that kinda nuts... get your mind out the gutta and into some bleach...lol). Anyways check out the July Edition of True Love West Africa for more cool stuff.

NIGER DELTA PICTURES

2008-06-16T13:31:00.003-04:00

FINALLY!!

Here are the pictures of my trip to the NIger Delta from last spring. I hadn't been able to upload i because of poor internet bandwidth. Then Kodak gallery started messing up so I had to switch to shutterfly which I am not too familiar with. So it's taken me forever to put this up. Anyways better late than never, the situation in these areas rarely changes in the space of a year. If you didn't catch the post on the trip you can always check them out below. Let me know if you have trouble viewing the pictures and I'll figure something out. I've about given up trying to get video onto this blog, it's such a challenge. Anyways here's to trying to blog more often but thanks for understanding why that's can't happen as often as I would like.

NIGER DELTA PICTURES
NIGER DELTA TRIP PART 1
NIGER DELTA TRIP PART 2
NIGERI DELTA TRIP PART 3

Looking For Addy?

2008-05-09T02:40:00.003-04:00

LIFE, WORK and shamefully FACEBOOK have taken over. However I have just sorted out myself with high speed internet. I'll be back with all the details of the Sahara Expedition. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Do check up on me soon. Cheers and Peace.

Addy

SAHARA EXPEDITION

2008-03-17T20:09:00.003-04:00

DAY 8

We finally made it to Bamako in Mali this afternoon after hours of driving. The fact that we had camped out in the desert on the outskirts of Mopti didn't help. We were all in need of a bath, sleep, food and air conditioning. It's ridiculously hot that I have begun to have a greater sense of appreciation for my humid tropical region of Nigeria with its pelting raindrops, sinking islands and encroaching ocean. I'll take that any day so long as I have a raft for dooms day. But let me back track a bit here. We left Accra for Kumasi and spent two days there talking and meeting with members of the Nigerian community. Some of them were from the northern region, which as you know is affected by desert encroachment. However there were also a lot of the from Ogbomosho. We visited the Asante Kingdom Palace museum and met with some professors and the dean of environmental sciences at the Kwame Nkrumah University of Technology. Friday was my birthday and I must say I consider this trip is the best birthday gift yet. I say yet because I have not gone round for collection and I am hoping my potential gift givers read this to know they have their work cut out for them. Meanwhile, I got a pleasant surprise from Papa Jibs and the crew when they presented me with a signed card and a birthday cake. The cake has now been smashed and will serve as peace meal when we run into Touregs in the desert. I hope they like vanilla.

From Kumasi we drove up into Burkina Faso. That also took hours. Thank goodness I am not driving since I don't have an international drivers license. Although I kinda feel bad that I can't help in that department. We spent the early morning talking with local farmers and doing some on air hypes and interviews in pidgin-french (bad french) on the community farmers radio. And for the very first time the Burkinabes had the pleasure of hearing TY Bello's Greenland over their airwaves. I wonder if there'll be a french version (hint, hint). Anyways, Bamako is so hot that the motel stewards are putting us in a 3rd room, where hopefully, the AC would actually work and cool the room. I know I cannot be a diva by any means but considering that I had to sleep inside the car with one eye closed and the other opened and sat in a car for over 8 hours in full view of the desert sun (translation: the AC may have been on full blast but it was not reaching me), the least I can get is a cool room to sleep in. Think about it...it's about 85 F degrees now at midnight. You can imagine how hot it was today. Let me help you 110 F degrees or there about. Well we head for Senegal on Tuesday. Plans might change because the plan was to drive up to Timbouktu and Gao in Central Mali. As I see it, I secretly cannot wait to get to Dakar so I can fly back to Lagos. Not just to get away from the heat but because I am in a wedding. Lol. After this trip I swear I shall never complain about Lagos being hot.

SAHARA EXPEDITION

2008-03-12T04:32:00.003-04:00

DAY 4

Hello guys
Sorry to leave you out of the loop on this one. So I am in Ghana right now borrowing someone's laptop since I left mine in Lagos. Didn't think I'll have any need for it considering that not all of Africa has wireless internet and the fact that I was trying to be light. Oh well I thought wrong. Anyways no fears, you can still keep track of the expedition, read Ebun's Reports and see all the cool photos that Kelechi and all of us are taking at WWW.FADEAFRICA.ORG/GREENDESERT. The route changed so it looks like I will be dropping of in Dakar Senegal with just a taste of the Sahara's edge. I am shooting video ofcourse and the view from the lens/lcd is only getting better and better as we go further. Well I am not sure when next I'll get online but as I said you can keep track of the crew on that website. There's also a cool map to show you the distance we have covered and where we are (look for the blinking dot...lol) That's all for now folks. Peace

FIGHT AGAINST DESERT ENCROACHMENT

2008-02-29T13:06:00.016-05:00

Newton Jibunoh's Green Desert Expedition

Have you met this 70 year old man who has conquered the Sahara desert twice and is gunning for a third? When some nigerians hear about his love for this suicide mission, they think this man must be crazy, bored and must have nothing else to do with time and money. But Newton Jibunoh is far from that description. He is just a simple man who is passionate about the fight against desert encroachment, global warming and the environment. Chief as he is fondly called went on his first lone expedition across the Sahara when he was just 27. Then at 62 he tried again for the second time. No one went with him on that one and it seemed like no one was getting it. Perhaps it's because he did not document those first two trips to show what his fight is all about. Now at 70 he's taking a cue from fellow environmentalist, Al Gore and is going to do just that. Put it in pictures so that WE CAN ALL GET IT. This time he is not alone. Some people have gotten the message and have volunteered to join Nigeria's very own desert warrior as he makes history. It's sort of like a reality show in the making but for a good cause. The cast includes Ebun Olatoye a journalist, from True Love West Africa, ace photographer Kelechi Amadi-Obi, filmmaker Titi Laoye, Afam Ugah an IT specialist and, Joseph (?) a mechanic. The crew will be going through the coast of West Africa to Accra and access the route to the desert through Northern Ghana. That's where I'll be getting off, in Tamale and wishing the expedition team the best of luck. Unfortunately I can't go all the way. I second guessed myself and didn't sum up the courage to ask for myself to go on the trip. Lesson learned--NEVER HESITATE UNLESS YOUR GUT SAYS SO!! Anyways Silverbird TV is a media partner on this expedition along with NTA and CNN. I am looking forward to this trip and hoping to get cool video material. I have taken a few tablets of GESTID to also make sure I don't have any emergency along the way. Well visit the FADE website at fadeafrica.org and read some of these articles below to get the full scope of things.

Adventure of a lifetime at 70
Attempting the Impossible
Combatting Desert Encroachment in Nigeria

You can also read his book, Me, My Desert and I where he chronicles his second trip across teh Sahara. There's a wealth of articles on the subject via google, so enjoy the read and share your views. Here are some pictures from the official flag off with the Lagos State Government

Newton Jibunoh and some newspaper reporters

Silverbird TV's environment correspondent Vivian Irikefe interviewing Ebun Olatoye
Kelechi Amadi-Obi with his 'baby' striking a pose
' FADE-SUZE 1' -- One of the 3 desert mobiles -- This is 'JIBS' mobile with his bed attached above
' Papa Jibs the Desert Ranger', Addy and the 'FADE SUZE 4'

THE SEARCH FOR MBGN 2008

2008-02-21T07:42:00.005-05:00

Silverbird's Most Beautiful Girl In Nigeria

The search for Silverbird's Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria 2008 is on and for the first time there will be a screening in London. Folks in the London area who are interetsed in participating in the pageant have the opportunity to audition on March 1st at the Holiday Inn Express in Stratford on 196 High Street, London. The final screening will hold on March 5th 2008 at Eko Hotel and Suites. There are 5 crowns up for grabs. MBGN World, MBGN Universe, MBGN Ecowas, MBGN Tourism and MBGN Model. This year, the total prize money has been increased to 5 Million Naira, a brand new car and one contestant gets the opportunity to be the face of La Casera, as Miss Lacasera 20o8 with a salary of One million Naira for the year. Participants must be Nigerian Citizens (parentage) between the ages of 18 and 25, have at least a high school degree and 5ft 7in and above in height. The pageant is scheduled to hold on March 28th 2008

*********************

PS: Part of my new year resolution this year was to visit at least four countries in Africa that I have never been to. Fortunately it's happening sooner and it's free too. Lol. I am off to Congo Brazzaville with MBGN 2007 for the Ms Congo Pageant. I have no clue what to expect and it is not funny that I cannot find my french dictionary. Anyways I'll let you know how it goes

ONARIETA THE KID PAINTER

2008-02-12T13:01:00.000-05:00

Nigeria's Youngest Painter "This is my Happy Face." Onarieta's most recent painting, of herself.

"My sad Face?"

"My Funny Face..."

Carrying her lunch box and dressed in her signature look - tiny head scarf covering her beaded, braided hair, a contemporary top and a long african print skirt to match her scarf - it's hard not to notice how artsy this cute little girl is. I'd first heard about Onarieta Aminisisi sometime last year as she was preparing for her first exhibition in December (I could have sworn I'd heard about her at the end of last summer). I'd been meaning to blog about her but I didn't have much on her other than this article on ONARIETA from the DAILY SUN. Fortunately for me I got to meet her on saturday while recording the 100th episode of Today on STV (the breakfast show). I was so enamored by her and since I was interviewing her I had to bond with her. We did bond but she was a little shy and soft spoken so I couldn't get much out of her. She's a 3 year old introvert, so there's not much I could get her to talk about in public. But she did understand the word ice-cream so we shared that and a few soda drinks. Whne time came for the interview I had to play it off with a few laughs and cheesey comments but how about in the middle of the interview with her dad doing most of the talking, little Onarieta decides to interupt. Guess what she said...Daddy I want to wee-wee. Kids do say the darndest things. That was a good time for Aunty Addy to call for a break and make a run to the little girls room. Let me not even start on little madam Jemi 'jem-jem' Doyle (in red, she's my co-anchor, Ireti's daughter) who is an old woman in a 3 year old's body.

This girl can rival Oprah when it comes to talking. The fruit they say doesn't fall far from the tree and with talent running in the family, it's expected. So ya'll better watch out for 'jem-jem' in a few years when she'll be ruling the screen. Their cuteness melts ma heart...can we skip the 9 months, the terrible twos and go straight to 3 with mini-addy when she comes around. Seriously!

ON THE VALENTINES DAY TIP

For those of you who celebrate Valentine. HAPPY VALENTINE O. But since we are all on teh topic of love, let me extend some love to all you readers out there. If you don't get anything for vals day, at least you are getting a hug from me. You can't feel it? Hmh...ok put you right hand across your body and towards your back... to the left... yeah... that's it...do the same with the left hand...good... good..ah ah... you are flexible o..have you been doing yoga...ok squeeze your self...don't choke o...ehen...now try to use your hands to rub your back...there you go..a world class hug from Addy...you too much jo!!!! Lol. Anyways since I am not getting a PRADO JEEP anytime soon, I decided to treat myself to a late xmas/new year/compensatory vals/ early birthday gift by replacing my phone and finally getting the Nokia E90 Communicator. Yes I had to take half a year to psyche and convince myself that I needed that phone. I suffered abuses because of the 55 something dail-n-recieve phoning machine that I was using. A phone with no keyboard or browsing capacity and no ability to download tunes or ringtones. Anyways my new tool is all the gifts of the year rolled into one so it's justified. Lol. Come Thursday night I shall be in my room snoring away while the rest of Lagos is dooking it out in traffic, trying to get to the restaurants. It's a do or die affair on Vals day in Lagos but please 'takirizy' out there. Dare to be different this year in spreading your love.

THE WINNER OF THE EVENING WITH PSQUARE TIX GIVE AWAY

2008-02-12T07:53:00.000-05:00

The winners are Bunmi (from the Agogo post) randomly selected AND UZO from the Eve with post. He/she had the closest answer with BASKET MOUTH being the second installment and the yella fella was Ifeanyichukwu aka I'm From LA MEN....SHIIIIEEEEE!!!! (he said his name in the promo).

SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBERS SO THAT WE CAN FIGURE OUT WHERE AND WHEN YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR TICS!!

GHANA 2 -NIGERIA 1

2008-02-03T14:29:00.000-05:00

WHERE DO I APPLY FOR GHANAIAN CITIZENSHIP

Did you guys watch that game between the Black Stars of Ghana and the team formerly known as SUPER EAGLES and now known as SUPER CHICKENS? That game was hot with some drama. I have shouted myself into a headache. It's a sad shame that we lost that match but ENOUGH about the game and on to the MEAT of the matter. For the ladies (and may be some of the guys...who may have been hating)who were watching, is it just me or is JUNIOR AGOGO not a BEEF of a HUNK. WHAT!!!! DID YOU SEE HIS CHEST when he tok off his jersey after that MAGNIFICENT GOAL. MY DAYS!!!!! Like my mother would say, HE IS AN ADONIS!!! I have decided to dump Osaze Odemwingie and dream about JUNIOR. I now wish to be knwn as Adaure Junior Agogo. We shall solemnize the union when I go to Ghana on Friday by the grace of God. Anyways ya'll how was the game for you? I am trying to wait up for Super Bowl but seeing as I have to wake up early to put red lipstick on a co-anchor who bet that ghana will win, that might be difficult. Meanwhile as per the P-SQUARE question which you all have failed, I am changing it to something as simple as 'what is their birthday'. The correct answers randomly selected will get th tix to An Evening With P-SQUARE. OK I am off to call my girls so that I can gossip about Junior Agogo's MAJORLY HOT BOD.

AN EVENING WITH P-SQUARE

2008-01-22T11:32:00.000-05:00

February 16th at EKO Hotel, Lagos

It's back again and this time the feature presentation will be 'doing you'. Yes! The first 'EVENING WITH' of 2008 will be taking place at EKO Hotel on the 16th of February. The stars of the night will be Peter and Paul Okoyo popularly known as P-SQUARE alias 'Do Me, Do Me' (a rather annoying song that DJ's insist on playing over and over again....argh). It's the third installment of the show brought to you by Silverbird Entertainment and Flytime Productions (produced by Cecil Hammond). Tickets will be on sale at the Silverbird Galleria and EKO Hotel. As usual, Addy has your back with some free tickets, but you have to work for it. Two lucky readers will get tickets to the event only if they can tell me who the 2nd star featured in 'EVENING WITH' is and the name of the yellow americana boy that had Lagos laughing with the radio and tv spots featuring his accent. (warning: Nnenne, her friends or anyone on their Facebook friends list do not qualify for this promo)
The readers with the closest answer and randomly selected will get the tickets. If you plan to go with a boyfriend or girlfriend, please plan to buy that ticket, it is only N5000. Make sure you get your tickets fast because they will go fast. See you at the event and get ready to be 'DONE' by P-SQUARE.

(location and date still subject to change)

THE SILVERBIRD MAN OF THE YEAR 2007

2008-01-16T18:03:00.000-05:00

Looks like we made it into the year 2008. Thank God for his mercies. I am sure many of you had a blast this holiday. Unfortunately for me I was working the entire time. Can you believe that I did not go anywhere except attend 'weddings'. The one time that I did go out, I went to some new club and upon getting there it just dawned on my that after a while Lagos gets officially wack and thus one must find creative ways of maintaining sanity. Hence I have been helping the business of piracy flourish in Lagos by buying 20-in-1 DVD's of 'Super Black American Niggazz Movies' and the likes for less than $2. By the way has anyone been watching the series 4400, Numbers and Heroes. I had no idea how hooked I could get on shows from the likes of the defunct WB and UPN. Oh what a sad existence. Anyways lets try and ensure that blogville stays livelier in 08 for those of us who will end up wallowing in the realization of our loneliness, especially as the next commercially recognizable day trots along. SHHHHH...nobody mention the 'V' word. Alright people, that was my poor attempt at a comedic monologue. Let's get down to business so I can start fulfilling all my promises from 2007 and blogging more often. Here's my first blog entry of 2008. It more like a press release but I have jazzed it up some...read on an find out.

*******************
NUHU RIBADU

Former boss of Nigeria's Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, Mallam Nuhu Ribadu ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuhu_Ribadu ) is the Silverbird Man of the Year 2007. Ribadu along with 8 other notable Nigerians and the Supreme court were shortlisted for the award. These individuals have been perceived as having affected the lives of Nigerians, positively, in one way or the other, in the last one year,

Nominations were sent in by the public (viewers of Silverbird Television and listeners of Rhythm 93.7 both in Lekki, Lagos) through text messages. The award ceremony will hold at the Silverbird Galleria on January 29th 2008 with across section of dignitaries and news makers present. NAFDAC boss Prof. Dora Akunyili won the maiden edition in 2005, while Nasir El-Rufai, former FCT minister won the 2006. Nuhu Ribadu was nominated Man of the Year for giving the greatest impetus to the current anti-corruption drive, that's sweeping teh nation. He's also known to have brought an uncommon commitment, passion, energy and courage to the war on corruption. Ribadu clinched the award just as his removal from the EFCC and subsequent assignment to the National Institute of Policy and Strategic Studies in Kuru, Plateau State, started making headlines and causing controversy. TheIronically, the tables have been turned, and now he too is now a subject of corruption investigation, which some say could possibly cooked up retaliation and a witch hunt because of Ribadu's corruption war, that's been focusing on corrupt ex-governors. The following are the nominees of the 2007 Silverbird Man of the Year Award.

Prof. Chinua Achebe ; novelist and poet best known for his first book titled Things Fall Apart. He is the winner of this year’s Booker International Prize for Fiction. (Some how he reminds me of Nelson Mandela.)

Chimamanda Adichie; whose epic novel Half of A Yellow Sun got her this year’s prestigious Orange Broadband Prize for Fiction. Adichie is also the winner of Nigeria's Person of the Year at the just concluded 2008 Future Awards. (I am ofcourse her certified biggest fan and was really rooting for her to clinch this one.)

The Supreme Court; the highest court in the land established after Nigeria became a republic. The court has the civil authority and jurisdiction to entertain appeals on court of appeal. The Supreme Court decided courageously on certain landmark ruling in recent times. (In lay man terms, they grew some ballz.)

Chief Anthony Enahoro; now in his early 80’s played a prominent role in Nigeria’s politics from pre-independence days to date. This elder statesman is still clamoring for the congregation of the national conference.

Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Okweala; former finance and foreign affairs minister. The first woman to be appointed as the managing director for World Bank. (This is another woman I respect so much. Go Ngo!!!)

Olusegun Obansanjo; retired general and two time head of state. Well known for introducing several economic and other reforms and war against corruption. (And Addy coughs.)

Dr. Ernest Ndukwe; the executive vice chairman of Nigerian Communications Commission has continuously driven telephony penetration from less than one percent in 2001 to 27 percent December 2007. (Err not so fast here...I still have to spend N2000 for barely an hour of pillow prattle. I've even twisted my anle climbing a tree just to get better reception only for the credit to finish when I got to the top. What's up with that? Until Nitel and co give me free night time and weekends, no hero award for this dude from me)

Chukuma Soludo; A professor of economics and Central Bank governor. He's unarguably the arrow head of the revolutionary reforms in the banking sector. (True, true but ths homie still has his work cut ut for him. Just don't mess with the stocks and shares just yet dude, my graduate school tuition and my childrens school fees are depending on that)

And the Late Yemi Tella; chief coach of the under 17 national football team that won the FIFA under 17 championship in Korea in the summer of 2007. Tella unfortunately died after few weeks after the victory.

What do you think of the winner and the nominees?
Are there some names up there that make you go 'AH HA!!!', 'HMH!?!' OR 'WTF!?!'

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2007-12-25T01:51:00.000-05:00

HERE'S TO WISHING ALL OF YOU MY FAITHFUL READERS A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. HOPE THE HOLIDAY SEASON HAS BEEN KIND TO YOU. 2007 HAS BEEN AN INTERESTING YEAR. HERE'S TO WISHING THAT 2008 WILL BE AN AWESOME YEAR OF REAPING ALL THAT YOU HAVE SOWN. MY BROWSER IS HAVING ISSUES WITH BLOGGER BUT IT WIL BE WELL WITH THIS BLOG SOON. CHEERS!!!

MISS WORLD AND PIX FROM ADDY'S TRIP TO CHINA

2007-12-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

MISS WORLD
As you all know by now Miss China was crowned Miss World 2007.

The event was full of glamour, pomp and as expected pageantry. Miss Angola came in Second, Miss Mexico came in Third, Trinidad and Tobago and Sweden rounded up the top five. Here are THE PICTURES most of which are from the Coronation Ball.
You can find all the details and the break down of winners for each category HERE
There are also more pictures from the event on VIEW IMAGES website

I found the comment below about the pageant on THIS BLOG. What do you say to this? I say "Is someone hating on the '3rd world' or does he or she have a point?"

"pakikaki, on December 4th, 2007 at 1:34 am Said:
The event is held in China and Miss China is chosen as Miss World… coincidence ?, I think NOT. This is just as unfair to the really pretty and talented girls, as when they started handing out those “pity-titles” to African and Indian contestants. This is Political Correctness and Affirmative Action –at it’s worst. I commiserate with all those girls who rightly feel wronged upon seeing Miss China advancing ahead of them, without being able to say their peace. Miss China didn’t even belong in the semi, let alone get into the top 5. To be crowned, was a crime. A shameless, brazen miscarriage of justice. I feel sorry for Miss Angola and Trinidad & Tobago. To come so close and then be superseeded. I wouldn’t be surprised, if in the years to come, the girls from the west refuse to participate in these sham ’selections’ and tell the rest of the world to put the tiara up it’s third-world-a55.
Laura1318: In life, there are losers and winners. In another place , another time , different rules. That is life."

THE GREAT WALL CLIMB etc

After leaving Sanya we went to Beijing to do the tourist leg of the trip. The highlight for me was climbing the Great Wall. Unfortunately it was way too cold. We also visited the Ming Tombs, Forbidden City and the notorious Tien An Men Square. I tried shopping at the Silk Street market, a famous tourist shopping spot. Please avoid that place if you don’t want to get a heart attack. Aside from the fact that the only plus side is that you can entertain yourself to good quality ‘imitation’, the fear of being duped into paying too much and the pushy sales women will drive you nuts. As in if I can say that I’m more comfortable shopping at Tejuosho with its griminess and annoying igbo traders proposing marriage to you, then you know something is wrong. Bottom line, I came back with an empty second suitcase. Anyways these are MY GREATWALL PICTURES. Enjoy.

THE MOVE BACK CLUB

2007-11-30T21:33:00.000-05:00

Tips on Moving Back To Nigeria from a Dude Called Godson Offoaro (not Kwesi Freeman)

I can't believe it, It will be a year on December 4th since I got on that flight back to Nigeria. Bold and risky, but one that I needed to make and get over with quickly and while I still had some youth left in me (SHIIIEEEETTT...I'll be 28 in 3 months and that's dead in 'spring chick' years...literally). Anyways I got this email (I'm sure many of you have read it already) and it fits right smack ino what my December 4th post was going to be about. I dunno who this dude, the writer is or what and how he qualifies to give this advice as he doesn't mention it in his write up (not that he needs to) but he is right on the money on many things in this essay (Reader Ada sent in info on the writer, check it out at this link http://nigeriaworld.com/columnist/offoaro/bio.html. The original post is at this link http://nigeriaworld.com/columnist/offoaro/112707.html)
December is usually the influx month when many folks move back, take the festive month to relax and have fun and then in January, we know the ones who stayed when you see them at a hang out (eg. Six Degrees, News Cafe) the weekend after New Year's Weekend is over. You no longer greet them with 'Awww when did you get back?' but rather 'Awwww so how long are you staying?'. Those of us who are still in denial will say 'One year, two years, I'm just in transit' and those that don't ever want to see the borders of another country (more like University because 'bukuru' showed them 'shege') will be very colorful. Kwesi Freeman's post is below. It makes for a great read. I will be back next week with 'ADDY'S PERSPECTIVE'. How am I doing? Is it really as great as it appears? The pros and the cons as I see it and what would I have done differently etc and a few other things that might have you better armed and better informed if you are planning to move to Nigeria. I know I am hardly an expert with only one year under my belt, but it's always good to hear the part of the green because their account is stil fresh andnot watered down by survival tactics. It help's you avoid the mistakes they've made. Again enjoy the article and PLEASE let's discuss it. If you have any 'MOVE BACK' tips and experiences please do share with everyone. I'll be back with more from Ms World later on today (kai!!! free high speed internet sweet o...ahh ahh...the thing is just going fast...pishaun pishaun..anyhow...just too bad.. they are trying in China sha...lol)

======================================

101 Things You Need To Know To Relocate To Nigeria
By Godson Offoaro

============ ========= ========= =======
First, the down side of Nigeria. Its economy has predominant characteristics of a third world's. It is No. 35th on Transparency International's rating on the list of the world's most corrupt nations. It used to be No. 1. Thanks to the EFCC and ICPC. NITEL has now completely collapsed. Where NITEL failed, mediocre local independent telephone operators dominated by Indians are carting billions to the banks and their banks in India. NEPA is tottering.

The road networks are in a very, very dilapidated condition. The transportation system in Nigeria is in a big mess. Travel by road in Nigeria has seized to be a thing of joy. By air is expensive and froth with danger of air crash due to the preponderance of molue aircraft in the air. Still, it is expensive. A forty-five-minute flight to Abuja from Lagos costs between twelve and fifteen thousand Naira, ($90-$130) depending on the airline.
Crime is climbing because of joblessness, particularly among young school leavers. Politically motivated pen robbery is still with us. Economically induced robberies are on the rise too. Banks are now robbed in broad day light. You cannot open your favorite daily any morning without reading about a robbery incident here and there. Because it is not an election season, assassinations are on the wane - it looks like.

In spite of all, this is the best time to start thinking of relocating to Nigeria. Nigeria is changing. This is very fast. You begin to notice this at the airports - your first points of entry. The air cooling systems now work most of the time. The conveyor belts work too, most of the times that I have seen. Power systems at the airports fail intermittently but not as they used to do.

The people you meet either at departure lounges or on arrival halls are beginning to imbibe the culture of courtesy. Trolleys, though for hire are now available for the jaded traveler to cart away his luggage. Even the toilets are manned by professionals who say hi to you before use and after. (Some times they hide the tissue papers and make you pay for service.) Inside the airports, touting has been kept at bay. There are banks with ATM machines competing for the business of the Nigerian traveler, at most Nigerian airports now. Modern communications gadgets are on display at every nook and cranny displaying wares, arrival and departure times.

Before you relocate, make sure you have the wherewithal to get back to where you are relocating from - just in case. The reasons are too many. But the first you would notice is how far high on the economic ladder your mates have climbed. And as you know, economic progress has a twin brother climbing the same ladder - social mobility. Your contemporaries have moved and they did so slowly but sure-footedly while you were gone. Your mates dine at the most expensive restaurants and drive the latest model cars - not on credit.

Your mates have bought up properties in the choicest areas of the land. Your mates are to be found in, Wuse II, Asokoro and Maitama areas of Abuja. Your mates have occupied the choicest areas of Lagos, particularly the picturesque sites of Lekki, Victoria Garden City - fancifully called the VGC. Of course, your mates now use their Ikoyi and VI previous homes as offices. It is no more fanciful to say I live in Ikoyi or VI. There are new places of abode in the land - from Kaduna to Port Harcourt and from Enugu to Maiduguri, and your mates have taken them up while you were gone.

If you left over ten to twenty years ago and you are planning to be back, know that you have become unemployable. You have to be self-employed for a long while. Be sure you have enough resources to keep you going through the period it would take you to re-acquaint yourself with your "former" home. Things have really changed - changed for good for those who did not jet out and somehow changed for bad for those of us who took the next plane and left the country.

In Nigeria, your mates in the public and private sectors of the economy, particularly the banking and oil industry, have become highly placed. Most earn the equivalent of between 200,000 and 300,000 dollars a year plus other incentives to wit. There was an advert recently placed in one of the papers for a job opening which warned those not earning twenty million Naira and above, per annum, in their present job not to apply. Most have built their own houses in Nigeria. Most have more than two cars in their drive way. Most live in homes that smack of opulence, with every modern gadget ranging from large sized Plasma TVs to Microwaves.

Most have genuinely saved enough to send their children to some of the best educational institutions over seas, including to the Ivy Leagues. Most are share holders in most of the emerging markets that have been liberalized during the eight boom years (and counting) which we that left, have missed. Most of them have savings in liquid cash that run into tens of millions. Most have invested in the now, very lucrative Nigeria stock market. You would marvel when you have a snippet of what amount of shares your mates now hold. You would shiver in self pity.

If your mates joined politics, they have occupied the choicest of political positions in the land and made new friends that will be hard to dislodge. If you happen to have showed off to them in your hey days of "returning" from America, be rest assured they have not forgotten. They call us mercenaries in politics. It is now their turn to show you, that you can't have it both ways. They have built a barricade and insulated themselves from out side interests - you the returnee being an outside interest that must be dreaded. If you have real or passing interest in politics, you must show it with extreme caution. They would like to invite you to political meetings and discussion only to put you to size.

While not accepting everything they say, when making your presentations, or contributions avoid using phonetics. Avoid such phrases as "if it were in America or Europe." They do not like to hear that. One of them surely will remind you "this is Nigeria" to the embarrassing applause of others, there present. They see Nigeria now as a trophy. They labored for Nigeria while you were gone. They suffered the June 12 crises together while you were gone. They suffered the Abacha era while you were gone. While you were gone, you probably had returned on one or two occasions only to scurry out soon after complaining of incessant heat, erratic power supply and mosquito bites. At the airport, you must have been caught criticizing everything in sight. They have not forgotten your new borrowed accent and the phonetics that do not rhyme.

That you need a shelter to live in Nigeria if you planned relocating to Nigeria is an understatement. There are many ways to do this. It's either that you have managed to build something for yourself in the city you would want to relocate or you could find an affordable apartment. With the kind of money we make overseas from genuine everyday livelihood, it is almost next to impossibility that you could build yourself an abode commensurate to what you are used to. If you find yourself in this position, don't worry, if you endured the pains and worked hard and kept a low profile in order not antagonize your former friends, within five years your will build your self, your dream home.

You need to feed well. This too is an understatement. Avoid going to the supermarkets to get your food - raw, processed or cooked. Buy from the local sellers at the nearest mammy market. Go to the supermarkets and shops to buy the essentials. At the malls, you will find that while you spend a miserable amount to buy your essential needs, Nigerians who are not been tos, buy up anything in site both the ones they need and those they do not need.

This people have so much money. How they make it, you will find out if you endured. Closely related to this is your phone habit. It is very expensive to use the telephones in Nigeria. As you know, telephone calls in the western world are taken for granted. Here, while it's beginning to happen as if it is for granted, it is very, very expensive. To Nigerians who are not used to such freedom of expression, they are spending millions everyday to make phone calls - to satisfy their newly found phone freedom. If you are not mindful, telephone bills may cut into your feeding pattern. If this happens, before long, you will become an object of gossip. You will lose your complexion and weight and they will notice.

You need clothing to cover the body you have labored to nurture while you lived abroad. This also, is an understatement. Nigerians pay too much attention to dressing. Your dress mode can shut the door at you or open the door for you. Avoid casual dressing, particularly when you are going to meet with the Nigerian big man. He knows the stuff you're wearing and could place you based on that. Be simple but neat if need be occasionally be flamboyant. Express yourself. Speak good English, where there is a need, do not use slang such as I wana or I gonna….

Do not lend money. Give out only that which you could afford to lose. Beware of relatives and the extended family system. If you manage to set up a small business, never employ those closely related to you. They will ruin you.

You would need to dry clean. Dry cleaning here is too expensive. You pay as much 300 naira (about $2) to dry clean an inner vest. Think then of what it would cost to do a bunch of laundry. Think seriously of having a washer and a drier installed - wherever you may decide to live.

You must have at least two good cars. That car of yours, which you price so much, is not fashionable in Nigeria. Here some people drive the next year's model before they become common in Europe or the Americas. How they make such money to pay upfront is still the mystery I am struggling to unravel. The roads are so bad and the drivers so ill-trained that if you drove yourself, and not being used to their adversarial/ confrontational pattern of driving, your car and you would, in a very short while be a sorry sight. They hit you and beg you. They hit you because you are conscious of driving rules and apply it. They, who do not apply simple driving rules, rule the highway in Nigeria. In a society not used to insurance, and where vehicular laws are not implemented, begging has replaced insurance coverage. Even passer bys would chip in to ask the offending reckless driver to beg you and get on with his life. If they beg you, you must accept. That's your only recourse.

To this end, you must have a good mechanic as a friend. He will introduce to you, a good panel beater (your (n) used car will always need to be panel beaten back to form after constantly being bashed by ill-trained Nigerian road users. Most Nigeria drivers, I hear, buy their drivers license) who will in turn introduce you to a vulcanizer and an auto electrician, here, fancifully called a rewire. You need a vulcanizer because the roads are bad. Flat tires occur very often here than usual. Of all the auto-related experts you will work with, the rewire should be the one you must dread. He is not well trained in the operation of modern day computer induced auto cars. His method of rewiring has set many late model computerized cars ablaze.

Eve of Miss World

2007-11-30T14:04:00.000-05:00

Ni Hao (xie xie @anon, that means thanks) from Sanya China. I have to say that this place is beautiful. I am still suffering from jet lag that's why I am online at 2am China time. That flight was no joke at all. A whole 36 hours. At least I can say that I have been to Frankfurt Germany as well considering we had to be there for 16 hours and took a bus ride into town. Now that's conquering two countries with one bird..get it? Bird...plane..ha ha..DRY! Ok without further ado, here are some pictures from the Crown Plaza Hotel where the Miss World contestants are lodged. The buzz is that Ms Dominican Republic and Ms China are top on the betting list of who'ld be the winner. Both have been favorites at the preliminary part of the event. I saw many of the contestants from Africa. The cinderella story is Ms Sierra Leone who is making a first ever appearance at the pageant after years of war. Truth be told, she is still a hot mess (for obvious reasons) but her story is a feel good story that we need to hear at these events. I just wish the organizers had taken her up as a charity case. That or her fairy god mother needs to be sacked. Our girl Munachi was excited to see us. Unfortunately because of the strict visa rules imposed on Nigerian passport holders, her mother could not get a visa to attend. She was clearly tired, home sick and stressed but a little pep talk, hugs and kisses from Guy, Garth and myself raised her spirits up a notch. But for real these pageants are BANANAS and majorly gangsta. It's like the UNITED NATIONS but only this time, instead of brutish men in charge of WMD, you have beautiful young ladies high on hair spray, armed with a hair dryers, curling irons and ready to knock each other off their stilletos. Ok so it's not exactly like that, but you get my point. Plenty international politics at play. I mean when the Chinese government can buy out an entire prelim show to support their home girl, especially on the shows 4th and final year in the country (for now) it means you must deliver and concede at least a top 5 spot to China. ANd it goes on.

Anyways no too much talk dey the tin, we sabi say e go hard before Nigeria and co Africans go get the crown again so make una pam small and enjoy all the foto wey i don snap. True true I suppose go become 'onye-foto'HERE ARE THE PICTURES (uncaptioned cos I have to go sleep). Enjoy and ignore my multiple photos.

DISPATCH FROM THE NIGER DELTA PART 3

2007-11-27T01:06:00.000-05:00

Oloibiri
This is the first place that oil was struck in Nigeria. It’s a small village nestled in the creeks, islands and mangrove swamps of the Niger Delta, Bayelsa state to be precise. It took use 2 and half hours to drive down there from Port Harcourt in a hired vehicle that cost us N6000. Oloibiri’s story is a great testament to how both the governments of Nigeria, it’s leaders and the Oil companies have done a disservice to humanity. The story is complex but once upon a time a valuable deposit of crude oil sat undisturbed and untapped in the undergrounds of Oloibiri, but today not only has Oloibiri be sucked dry of its valuable resources, the people have literally had life sucked out of them as they have been left to wallow in abject poverty and underdevelopment. The same can be said for many regions. The story goes like this, Dutch company Shell D’arcy, after being granted an exploration license in 1938, found its way into the small village. That was in 1953. Why did it take them so long to go into the creeks you might wonder. As I learned from a well spoken 73 year old man Pa Foster Inengite, the explorers thought the oil deposit was higher up the Niger and had been searching in the lowlands near Owerri, Oguta and Onitsha and were making their way further south. They came to Oloibiri in 1953, built a well (which is one of the only other source of water aside from the river just behind the house at which the well was built). There are several taps and a water tank that were built in 1973 by the government of Rivers State at the time but according to the villagers not a single drop of water has come out of those taps. At first the locals thought they had come to buy Palm oil, which was their major resource (still is). In 1956 Shell finally discovered the first commercial oil field in Oloibiri. That location is called Oloibiri 1 and it is located along the only operating highway in Bayelsa State, that goes straight from Yenegoa into Ogbia local Government. In1958 Nigeria officially became a world exporter of crude oil and the village of Oloibiri made history as the first place oil was struck not just in Nigeria, but also in West Africa.
At the exact spot where explorer first discovered oil, there’s a rusty funny looking cross-like pipe rising from a field of very tall elephant grass. I believe this contraption (word of the day) is called a Christmas tree. Eerie this was because of the fact that this thing looked like a cross. A cross that was supposed to answer prayers or the poor and bring them hope. Rather this place was over run with shrubbery and raggedy signpost and an aesthetically unappealing stack of marble slabs dedicated by former President Obasanjo, that’s supposed to be a monument identifying Oloibiri Well 1 as an historic site.
Just to give you a mental picture of what Oloibiri looked like…CRAP!! Mud huts, termite ridden thatch roofs, thick jungle, and uncompleted or falling buildings. They finally had electricity because of the new hydro generated power plant, but that’s all the community can say they’ve gotten. It’s hard to believe that a place like that is where oil, black gold that’s building places like Lagos, Abuja and even nearby Port Harcourt. It was supposed to be a gift from Mother Earth that was supposed to bring hope and a future to the town but instead it has become the death of the place.
Pa Foster narrated the story of how he felt the day they found the oil deposit. He said he had worked closely with the explorers, learning from them and running errands as part of his job. He was only 22 at the time and wanted to work with the dockyard, on the ships that transported the oil. He said he was on the rig the day oil was struck and when it gushed out everyone cheered and was drenched by the oil. After the celebration they went into the Oloibiri River and had a bath and then went on with the celebration. He had very high hopes that his community would change and look like the ones he’d seen in the pictures and books that the white men brought with them. Big white houses, schools, clinics and better jobs. Although disappointed in his shack of a mud house, he still feels it is never too late to change the lot of the region because there are still young children in Oloibiri and Oloibiri self exiled youths who need to see a new light shone on their home land. The frail and fragile old man was a great interview, not only could he speak very good English and pronounce correctly (unlike many young people) he was like a library with so much stories about so many things including oral tradition of how Oloibiri was established. (An offshoot of some soldiers that had been on the run from Benin Kingdom). It was so sad because there were hardly any children in the village to listen to his story (I can see days of sitting at his feet listening to tales by moonlight…by the way has anyone seen the new Tales By Moonlight on NTA. Talk about tales under the fluorescent, they are now in some poorly decorated and air conditioned living room. No moon light, no mosquitoes to chirping cricket sound)
Anyways our continued tour of the village revealed too many abandoned projects including a huge general hospital that was finished in 1973 but never commissioned, staffed or even furnished. Then a mortuary that’s never been used. One woman we met lamented that they have to drive the dead many kilometers to a place called Koloibiri, but the roads are so bad that cars get into accidents and the dead bodies end up dying again (her words). It was really sad and I tried so hard to fight back tears. I could also see and understand why so many people in the region could be angry and make unrealistic demands like resource control (we all know that’ll probably never happen) and take matters into their own hands. I guess I just had to see things for myself and know what all the fuss is all about. I eventually went back to PH tired and worn out. The next day I made my way to Asari Dokubo’s fortress like home for a sit down interview with his wife. Unfortunately, I sat on that interview because it was rejected for the particular show that I had pegged it for and couldn’t find a platform for it. But once I can figure out how loading videos work, I’ll load that interview and this documentary online. This post doesn’t give a clear picture but hang tight and I’ll load up the pictures I took while in the Niger Delta very soon. My sister took the Laptop with all the pictures to Asaba for her NYSC (to watch pirated 16-in-1 movies) and won’t be back till the 6th of December. The pictures are also in my email account but don’t load up very fast. May be Internet in China will facilitate that. Anyways, I’ll keep you posted on that Great Wall Climb/ Trek.

DISPATCH FROM THE NIGER DELTA PART 2

2007-11-27T01:03:00.002-05:00

GOING TO OGONI LAND

For me this was the highlight of this whole trip. Going to Ken Saro-Wiwa’s Ogoni land. We set out from Port Harcourt around 9am in a bus sent to us by Marvin Yobana. My team was made up of a cameraman, Chuks and the local reporter, Edmund. Chuks was highly excited that we were actually going to do a totally different kind of assignment, but Edmund on the other hand was not too thrilled because, according to him, he didn’t want to be kidnapped. We went from Trans Amadi Road to Trans Woji Road and on to Eleme. That’s where the NNPC refinery is located and there it was, the all too infamous and familiar torch that’s been etched into the minds of many Nigerians, thanks to those old file videos that used to run on NTA but have now made their way to all the TV stations in the country. We went past the Unity Road, which was still under construction as part of the governments Niger Delta Development Commissions’ project to link Ogoni, Andoni and Opobo. We drove into Bori, the main pulse of Ogoni and their business center. We finally made our way into Kpean, which was littered with several mud houses with thatch roofs. I couldn’t help but notice that there were absolutely too many idle young men, clustered up under sheds, some playing Ludo, some Whot and others just chatting in between rides on their motor bikes. Many of them had those, not just for getting around, but as a means of survival, providing transportation for the community. We were supposed to call Mr. Yobana and the MOSOP assigned security officer, once we got to Ogoni, but the network was really bad The only network within range was MTN so all our phones were useless because we were on a different network. We had to keep coming back to the teenage girl who was manning one of a few call centers in Kpaen. Our lead guide Jackson Jaja eventually gets a hold of the security officer and gets a go ahead to proceed to the points of interest. Jackson is a graduate of creative arts from University of Port Harcourt. He had been in and out of jail for petty crimes stemming from youth uprising and agitation. After he got out of jail he decided to channel his anger through a positive means and under the guidance of Yobana he’s become responsible for organizing some of the other jobless local boys to serve as a surveillance team for the villages. According to him, Yobana and some other citizens who contribute to keep the initiative going are paying them. Also in our company was the driver, Emmanuel and another guy, Prince Sunday, who wanted to join in on the tour. As we made our way to one of about 100 oil wells in Ogoni and 25 in Kwawa alone, we drove over the Geawa River. We literarily had our hearts in our mouths because the bridge was beyond being on the verge of collapsing. We turn off a dirt road heading towards the Teeraua (terra-way) Oil well (my note say this is the 1st oil well, but I don’t remember if that means first stop or the first well from which oil was drilled) which used to be owned by Shell (FYI: Shell has not however operated in Ogoniland for 14 years. They were kicked out for obvious reasons and are practically persona non grata so even if they had good intentions of cleaning up, it’s fair to say they’ll face some challenges). At this particular wellhead, there was some major filth in the form of fresh crude oil. Apparently during the Ogoni crisis of the mid-nineties, this wellhead wasn’t shut off completely and so oil spills out when the sun’s heat is intense. The science being that crude congeals in cool temperature and melts in high temperature. So basically this wellhead has oil spilling out into the farmlands everyday, according to Jackson. The next oil well was one in Buan (now I don’t recall if this was the one with the natural gas pipe that flares up at high noon as well and burns for days). At this one there’s a security post, which only had its corrugated iron sheets changed two months prior to that day, but had been corroded beyond recognition. We trucked on and met with a farmer who narrated the ordeal they had to go through on their quest for daily drinking water as well as some women on their way to the next village to find water. The women and children had to trek about 3 kilometers from Teeraua to Kwawa, to a well to fetch water. Many rivers, like the Teeraua River were polluted with films of oil floating on top. The villagers can’t even drink rainwater and only use it for cleaning. We got to a fishing hamlet where Jackson and his friends negotiated permission to film. The fishermen agreed at first but later expressed anger and assumed that our guides had been paid to bring us there. They insisted that we pay them before we do any filming. Now, I didn’t have any money to dash away but I had my camera rolling and so I stole the video instead and we left and headed to another village.
Our next stop was a place called Yorla Well-Location 10. There was a vast opening that seemed like the size of two of UNC’S football field. There were charred palm trees, turned over soil caked together by crude oil. There had been an explosion (in 2006) at the site that resulted in a huge fire, which subsequently devastated adjoining farmlands. That to a villager spells hunger, yearlong hard work toiling to plant yams and cassava and the anticipation of a bountiful harvest, all up in smoke. We took a soil sample from that and other locations to test how potent the soil quality was (result pending).
I had hoped to make it to one of the rivers that had the film of oil, but I didn’t bring a pair of rain boots to navigate the swampy riverbank. It was getting late in the afternoon and we had to head back to Port Harcourt before rush hour traffic in order to meet up with Marvin Yobana. I couldn’t make it to Bane but I’m sure I’ll make it back to Ogoni perhaps when Singto goes to her village for Christmas. On our way out, we stopped at Bori and then Eleme to get beauty shots for the story, and then continued on to PH to the Landmark Hotel.

Marvin Yobana as I said is the leader of the youth wing of MOSOP. He’s a petite man but don’t let his diminutive stature fool you. He looked very important with his native attire and two police escorts. I didn’t trust him at first because I had read some disturbing things about him in a Time magazine article that alleged Mr. Yobana was responsible for inciting many of the youth agitation and was shopping for lucrative clean up deals for the region, which many other leaders are opposed to because many of terms that those deals present would concede certain things to the oil companies. It is fact that some deals have been presented but I am still studying that angle so I cannot speak too much about that. Anyways I re-introduced myself and explained my aim of embarking on this trip. We get to chatting and I tell him about how I wanted to go into the creeks, talk to the villagers who have to deal with militant activity, talk to the militants etc (basically I needed a scoop like Jeff Koinange’s report or even half of it. I needed something) He went into action making calls. First he talked to someone from Shell and then someone from Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta. No luck. After a few calls he finally got someone whom he described as ‘one of the militant leaders’. He starts to explain who were and from the response he was giving I could gather that the man on the other side of the phone wanted us to pay some money because he felt that we would go and sell the footage to foreign media (but of course that’s what freelance is about) Yobana pleaded with him and explained the we were Nigerian journalists from a station in Lagos. The man on the other end of the phone asked which station after it seemed like he had assumed we were NTA, the government station. Yobana told him we were not from NTA but rather we were from Silverbird TV. The named rung a bell and it seemed like the man on the other ended relaxed. “Ehen, na dem Ben Bruce people” (Yes, that’s Ben Bruce’s people) For my readers who don’t know, the owners of Silverbird TV etc , Ben Bruce and his family, are from the Niger Delta, Akassa in Bayelsa State and the name is very prominent in the region as it is around the country. The conversation continued, “Make dem come?” (Should they come?) “Ok na you go give them where dem go go” (you’ll tell them where to go) By now my fingers were stiff from crossing them. “Ok make I give dem your number? Ok…you want de girl number?” He signal to me to tell him my phone number, which I proceed to do. “She dey go Lagos on Sunday…Ok bros I go call you later. Thank you.” The intense negotiation-like conversation ended and that was the last we both heard from the ‘militant leader’ for that week. By the time I was done with my interview, my opinion of Mr. Yobana was more different than it was when I walked in. May be not entirely but at least he seemed concerned and dedicated to the interest of his people.

OYIBGO
We went to Oyigbo at the invitation of Precious Oforji after we had spent the previous evening trying to catch him in his office at the new State House of Assembly. To say this man is very vocal is an understatement. I only ended up using two or three sound bites from him because he not only indicted the players like the oil companies and military leaders, but he abused and cursed the generations of the then president, Segun Obasanjo, the then governor of Rivers State, Peter Odili, the PDP, local politicians and certain community leaders. My goodness. It made for an interesting listen but I could not use any of it because of lack of evidence over some of the things he said, lack of being able to get Shell’s side and the government too, so I ditched that route. But anyways, there had been a recent oil spill in Oyigbo. It was two weeks old at the time. The oil pipeline that broke was the first one that was laid in 1958 in Oyigbo, which was the second place oil was struck in Nigeria. Apparently the oil kept gushing out of the pipeline for 4 days non-stop and was only put off after several calls to Shell. Imagine that, four days of a River of Oil flowing uncontrollably. Understandable that it was a weekend and that some of these areas are remote, but Oyigbo is just on the outskirt of PH not to far from the Shell Staff Estate. Oforji said that they’d been complaining about the corroded pipes and had been clamoring for them to be excavated and new ones laid, to no avail. In his words, “Shall there be any earthquake or any incidents of thereabouts, the people of Oyigbo ‘suffers’ it….what they want to do is take our blood, mix it with the crude oil, ship it out and make their hell of money.”

DISPATCH FROM THE NIGER DELTA PART 1

2007-11-27T00:57:00.000-05:00

I have finally finished my documentary on the Niger Delta trip. Unfortunately I have still not figured out how to get the video from the mini-dv/dvd/ final cut format to whatever format is needed to load it up to You Tube or Google Video. My tech savvy-ness is very haphazard, as you are aware, so some of these things are rocket science. If there's any one who can assist please send a shout my way. The documentary ran at 10.20am, Monday on HOTLENS, the other show I anchor and produce. I could not pre-announce it because I was only able to finish editing late Friday. It was supposed to run on the 11th to coincide with the 12th year remembrance of the murder of Ken Saro-Wiwa but unfortunately my editor lost his father the week before and had to take a few days off from work for the funeral. But we were finally able to finish it and it's run twice. I have not been able to log on to blogger all week for some reason so I could not make an announcement here. Will absolutely try to upload the video when I get to the hotel in China. May be some tech savvy people there will know how. (Yeah Folks, I’m going to Sanya for Ms World and then branching to Beijing to climb the Great Wall…can I get a Ni Hah…..that mean Hello in Mandarin, not Chinese). I have to admit that the delay was not only due to trying to get material together to boost the content, dealing with the hazards of having an under-trained and under equipped team but also trying to get an opposing side. When I couldn’t do that I figured I decided to focus the piece on personal stories from the perspective of the Niger Deltans featured.

DAY ONE – FEBRUARY 25TH 2007
GOING SOUTH-SOUTH

I was supposed to fly into Owerri Airport on the 24th but I missed my flight and had to travel out of Lagos the next day. This would be my first ever time traveling within Nigeria by myself and to make matters worse, my American accent was still heavy and would be a dead give away if I got into a ‘fix’. My parents were nervous and just to make them feel better they insisted that my aunt arrange transportation for me to Port Harcourt and that I stay with a family friend in PH. My aunt arranged with a member of their church to meet me at the airport and drive me, two hours down to Port Harcourt. I wish I had not agreed to that. With my blue backpack strapped tightly to my body and handbag getting acquitted with my armpit, I rolled my little suitcase to the rather curious vehicle. It was a some sort of mechanical contraption that seemed to have been a Volkswagen Passat once upon a time and was still masking as one. I certainly was not expecting any AC but the fact that there were no side mirror or a rear-view mirror got my antennas high for everything that was wrong with this so called vehicle. The green screw driver that was holding the back passenger side window midway, the annoying blinking red light that’s supposed to be the emergency light. I guess the button had malfunctioned and obviously the blinkers in the back probably weren’t working either. Not to overlook the broken temperature gauge, the broken windshield that looked like someone had batted a baseball right into it. Perhaps that was a stone or random object on the road that ricocheted from another vehicle. In all this the owner, Sunday, managed to display his aesthetic side by engraving in the raggedy dashboard a yellow waxen ‘I love Jesus’. But my mouth was salivating in disgust at the green and purple avocado that were sitting next to the now naked stick shift (gear) which Sunday’s wife, Tina had offered me. I declined. I hate avocado. It’s only good for one thing, a facemask. We jalopy-ed our way onto the Aba-Owerri Road. I was perched in the back seat already suffering from deep vein thrombosis because my knees were kissing my chest, while Favor, the couples five-year old daughter with her church hat perched next to her mother in the front seat. They were just coming back from Church in Uratta. I just had to manage and endure because these folks were doing me a favor and trying to get me safely to my destination.
The roads, as you know were shoddy in state but shoddier was the state of our car. How do I know this? Well we went past several checkpoints without being stopped even once. Usually Nigerian police will stop you for not having a taillight. But here we were without safety mirrors, backlights or even INNER LIGHTS and yet we were not stopped. We passed the regular police checkpoint, the mobile police checkpoint and even the Federal Road Safety Commission checkpoint. Then there was the fourth checkpoint where the police demanded and was handed money from the bus driver while the fifth had blue barrels, a broken exhaust pipe and a crooked log of wood. One every ten minutes, practically and I am not exaggerating because I checked.
The road split into a t-junction and we turned right toward Aba and Port Harcourt. Going left would take you to Umuahia, Enugu and onwards to the northern part of the country. The potholes were once again unbearable but the mountain of trash in Aba was higher than Mt. Everest. I couldn’t help but notice a stark naked mad man defecating on the side of the road, butt out facing the road. I shook my head. That’s definitely a madman. As we headed towards PH going through Obuaku, we passed one of many signs leading to a mortuary, ‘Gracial Stop Over’. What an oxymoron. Is this supposed to be dark humor or metaphoric. We then crossed the ‘Imo River’ again, this time at Oyigbo (Obiigbo) where it borders Abia State and Rivers. The first time was when we crossed into Abia from Imo. I eventually get to PH, parted with N5000, thanking the family for their trouble. I had just saved myself half the actual fare that it would have cost me, had I taken an air-conditioned airport taxi. I was finally in the crazy city of Port Harcourt where all sorts of crazy things were happening. I had just one week not just to get a bird’s eye view but also to have a greater appreciation for the issues facing the Niger Delta by experiencing and hearing the stories first hand. The next day Monday I went into the Rhythm FM/ STV bureau on Forces Road and spent the whole day making phone calls and setting things up. I talked to Marvin Yobana, the leader of the Youth Wing of the Movement of the Survival of the Ogoni People and he agreed to set us up with a tour of Ogoniland for Tuesday. We also spoke to the then representative of Oyigbo in the State House of Assembly, Precious Oforji, who is very outspoken agreed to talk with us on Wednesday and show us some sites where there had been recent oil spillage. I spoke with Hajia Mujahadedat Dokubo-Asari (Mrs. Asari-Dokubo), whose husband was still in jail at the time and she agreed to an interview for Friday. I talked to Onegiya Erekosima, who acted as Asari-Dokubo’s spokesperson. He was going to be the major player in putting me in touch with the individuals who would facilitate a trip to the creek to meet some militants. Unfortunately for me, that was just when the whole Jeff Koinange story that agitated everybody came out and I was advised not ‘to pursue my mission until things settle down.’ I also talked with several other players who stirred me in several directions to achieve my mission.

NOVEMBER SWEEPS

2007-11-15T10:53:00.000-05:00

ADDY NEEDS A FAVOR

Every year, in November and May, TV stations across the United States unleash an arsenal of great reports in order to win the ratings war. These months are called SWEEPS and most of the time the stories that air tunr out to be award winners in regional and national events. These include investigation stories about tax evasion, fraud, sting operations on sex offenders, gang bangers, prostituton rings etc. Considering the fact that I am still learning this job everyday, I need tools to help me get better. That's where you guys, my ever faithful readers come in. See I don't get to watch much television these days. In fact I can count how many times I have sat down to watch CNN, which is supposed to be my 'J-School-In-A-Tube'. I obviously cannot get American TV news on DSTV and while SABC does an awesome job, I still need the 'umph' effect of local american news. Here's how you can help me out before I miss out. Would ya'll KINDLY record your local news, especially the 6pm and 10/11pm depending on how it works in your market. VHS tape is great but DVD would be greater. I was able to record a few newscasts but I couldn't get into November. I am sure you'll find this is a fun activity to get into. Trust me. If you get carried away and sucked into the world of local tv news (like my friend Ndidi did) feel free to go loco and send me more than just November Sweeps. Here's the address to the station

Silverbird Television
attn: Adaure Achumba
#1 Rhythm Avenue
Lekki Lagos Nigeria

Please do send me an email to let me know to expect the tape. I know this is kinda CHEAP/GHETTO of me taking advantage of my readers but you will be doing me a huge favour and service for which I'll be immensely grateful. Thanks so much in advance, God will bless you with extra xmas gifts and postae stamps. Also thanks for ALL (I mean AAAALLLLLLLL) the comments in the previous post and every post ofcourse. I 'll take note and help the ones I can help and effect changes in areas that are in MY POWER to change. As for the ones that I can't help or change... well if it is as 'bad' as you claim you can always go to the second floor of the Silverbird Galleria and lodge your complaint to Ben Bruce or better yet come to the Station and apply for a position. WE ARE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING APPLICATIONS ...seriously and jokes/sarcasm aside. That being said IT'S ALL ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT AT STV, SO KEEP WATCHING!!!! (www.jumptvonline.com 7, 8 AND 10 in the morning) By the way I've picked up a new hobby this month, LEARNING MANDARIN!!!! Lord I know I'll need help with that one.

INSPIRATION FOR TOMORROW

2007-11-07T12:12:00.000-05:00

As the night clouds move in and the stars climb into the sky, I cozy up to my toilet sit. No, I am not doing number two as I type. It’s just that of all the ‘sitting objects’ available this one’s the most comfortable. While on my plastic covered porcelain ‘loveseat’, Mahalia Jackson is blaring away in my CD player, ‘Nobody knows the troubles I see.’ The old negro gospel tune allows for some reflection and I try to soak in the day that’s just been added to my life. Some choose to say it’s been taken away but I always try to look on the brighter side of things. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many days I wish would never come to an end, but today was certainly not one of those days. Neither was yesterday or the day before. Saturday seemed to be on the plus side of things, but even that was not a satisfactory Saturday because I have had better Saturdays. Saturdays with blueberry buttermilk pancakes dripping with warm maple syrup from Aunt Jemima. Saturdays filled with the harsh fragrance of a mixture of Pinesol and 409. Those good old Saturdays, when one would have thought I was Mrs. Clean. My 99-cent-scrubbing-brush from Dollar General caressing the bathroom tiles and bath-tub. Let’s not forget the lazy Saturdays when I just sat by the poolside and tanned, now all I have to do is sit in traffic and I am browner than a brownie. Then there were those Saturdays that were forgotten because someone had a toxic combination of certain beverages on Friday night. Now those Saturdays I can do without but blame it on how Friday went. But that’s all in the past, Saturday is so three days ago because right now it’s the middle of the week and I am plotting for the next day. I am thinking about how to squeeze the lemons God will toss to me. Not just to get lemonade but to grow a lemon tree so that God will have more lemons to toss to others. I am thinking about how I’ll make my journey down a crooked path less bumpy and paving it as I go so those following might have a better go. I am thinking of how to turn some of the Vultures along my path into doves and feed the others their own carcass. I am thinking about those seemingly altruistic acts that are not supposed to be in my favor, and how I’ll turn the tables around. Today is so yesterday and tomorrow will be a new day to tackle, with its challenges and misfortunes, victories and spoils. Tomorrow will definitely be a better day than today. Tomorrows ‘good-mornings’ will be sweeter and brighter than today’s. Tomorrows ‘good bye’ will usher in anticipation for ‘see you laters’. Like Bella said, “Be Inspired!” (Peace in the House of Reps as opposed to the Middle East or Niger Delta…lol)

MY WHIRLWIND TOUR

2007-10-30T09:21:00.000-04:00

Majella’s Wedding etc

As you all know already one of my best and oldest friends, Majella Caven got married in Detroit on October 6th. There was no way I was going to miss the wedding, work or not. I planned my vacation and personal errands in America around it. Unfortunately but also fortunately I became the stand by person for a work related event in LA (Hennessy Artistry) that some how by providence fell right into my planned vacation. Unfortunate for obvious and unforeseen reasons but also because the folks at the American Embassy in Lagos were there usual inconsiderate selves (telling folks to come and pick up visa on the day the reason they are traveling is happening. Whatever happened to express) and I’d rather be fabulous than slug a camera around in stilettos. Anyways everything worked out. We had fun in Detroit. It was great seeing my friends again and of course sharing a special moment with Majella. I was feeling like a star struck tourist in LA. Hennessy lodged our group (7 in all) at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills. How about I rode in the same elevator with Andy Griffith. When he walked in (he is very old and was using a walker so it took forever for him to get in so we held the elevator for him) I exclaimed like a 5 year old, “Oh my Andy Griffith!!” And in his very recognizable and highly animated Mayberry Sheriff voice he was like “Oh Well hello there.” And of course we proceeded to tell him that we were from Nigeria and blah blah blah. I didn’t have any battery in my camera otherwise; I would have gotten off the elevator and taken a picture with him. That would have been totally awesome. Then as if we’d not had enough celebrity doses, we go to the lobby to get my key and look who’s standing in front of us in her gym clothes, skin looking all fresh like a baby. Mel B from the Spice Girls. I swear I thought this babe was tall but she is small and very tiny. Then we step out to hop into our van and there’s Larry Flint of Hustler magazine being wheeled into his Rolls Royce abi na Bentley. Ha, dey no gree for us at all. See if I had know, all the while that I was going to LA from Santa Barbara, I should have been coming over to the Four Seasons to eat a plate of salad or a bowl of fruits and OJ so that I can run into celebrities and take pictures. Lol. That sounds so jobless. Then I got dragged with the crowd to Disneyland and Universal Studios. It was actually fun but at the time I was so jet lagged and needed to be acquainting myself with a bed. Anyways, the whole thing got tired after a while and I got down graded to Ramada Inn after the event was over. Now had I not been at the Four Seasons, I would not have really cared, but I swear the Ramada looked creepy and dingy, like a murder could happen there any minute. I was freaking out the entire time that I actually had a nightmare that someone crept into my room with a knife. Yes I do get paranoid when I’m in hotel rooms by myself, even at the Four Seasons I had a paranoia fit, but this one was too vivid. Anyways I then left for North Carolina where there’s some semblance of sanity compared to Lagos. I know I complained and yapped NC all the time but country or not, ‘Nothing could be brighter than to be in Carolina in the morning.’ And I’m saying that without ‘Aladdin’s Lamp’.
I have been back in Lagos now for two weeks and I am only just getting the chance to upload pictures and blog. I could have done some of this while I was in America but when I say I had absolutely no time, I am not BSing. From Flying cross country, waking up early to do the events, running errands in between, driving back and forth from Charlotte to Durham, then from one Mall to another (Hmh, I had to get some ammo for those of you coming to do December considering the fact that I am now in the local champions league...is ok..odinma...anyi g'afu...we go see...lol). Oh did I mention sitting at the computer for nearly 12 hours attending online traffic school. How about I failed so many questions because I thought I was sharp. The people that set up the test were smarter. Insided the study literature section, they put in random things like the author's shoes size, pant size, father's name, mother's name, number of shirts e.t.c. And they fit it in random places so even if you know every thin in the driver's ed hand book you could not scale the test without reading everyline because of those stupid author trivias. And I am talking like 26 to 30 pages for each of the 4 sections of the test. This for the speeding ticket I got on the day I was leaving Santa Maria. I sent in the check when I got to LA because I knew I would not make court but I am sure I put the wrong address and they never got it so I had to pay $500 to get my license back etc etc drama drama drama. Anyways I am no longer WANTED (I hope it never went to that lol). But the break was WELL DESERVED. Oh before I forget, AVOID AIR FRANCE. The food is HORRIBLE. Trust me to eat everything because I am very 'food curious' (not greedy) especially when it comes to 'different' food. So obviously I agreed to eat everything that looked interesing on the menu. Keep in mind that it is in French. I agree plane food is not the best but at least it's a taste of the country that is hosting the flight. They brought Cavier, Roast bleeding duck, raw salmon, and some other mede-mede oyibo food. Their juices were just too sweet and the apple juice was WHITE. HA!?! Ok o...me I sha tasted this white apple juice sha. Then I started feeling funny. May be I should have brought along a cooler of Eba/ Amala and Egusi soup. I started downing bottles of water, going to the bathroom to pee it out, then my stomach started to bubble and I got hot. I started fanning myself and hugging the pillow. Meanwhile I am trying to maintain my composure before I disgrace myself and show that I should have been in coach class and avoided all their rubbish food. The plane started descending and my insides started moving too with the gravity. Men..see hot tears rolling down my eyes. I reached for the nearest puke-bag 'just in case'. At this point it wasn't like I could unbuckle my belt and go to the bathroom. Immediately we landed in Detroit I raised my hand showing the air hostess the puke-bag. She got the message and asked me to follow her. I was holding my breath because if I inhaled the cabin air everything would have just come out. I ran into the stall and people were just looking, I couldn't even close the door behind me before I hauled a nice one into the loo. One. Two. Three. Four. Five times. The duck o, the rabbit o, the fish babies, the apple tree, the loaf of bread o. Every darn thing I put in my mouth on the flight all came out. My goodness. I have never pued like that before. Anyways I learnt my lesson andon my return flight I ate well. The night before I had Eba and Ogbono, then I had some Bojangles Biscuit and Chicken for breakfast. At the Detroit Airport Ihad to wait for 6 hours. I had a nice chicken salad and had them wrap a turkey and tuna sandwich for me to take on to the plane. When they started serving food, I jejely brought out my sandwich and water. I rejected everything they gave me. Then on the flight from Paris to Lagos I ate nothing at all. Not even a glass of OJ. They started fretting over me to the point of irritation but I said no to everything. I think at some point they were now whispering to each other and they might have been suspecting I was a DRUG MULE. Apparently that's how they know those who smuggle drugs in their stomachs. They don't eat. I guess they did see me drining water so they did not get 'DRAMATIC' by pulling me aside and doing a cavity search. Anyways when we were landing, they had the landing on some monitor as if it was a movie......wwooooo we are landing in Nigeria. Hiss. You should have seen the look on my face when that tire touched down. Imagine having that feeling when you are coming back to your own country. Disappointing. The air host sitting in front of me laughed when he saw the look on my face and was like 'I can tell you want another vacation'.TU PENSE. Lol. Thta's supposed to be "You Think!?!" Anyways I can't wait to be off to another country.

Ok I won’t bore ya’ll with any long entry. Here are all the pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Majella’s Wedding

Juveniling in LA/ Disneyland

Would upload the Henny pix but they are loading at 8 in 24 hours and I have 167. So let's keep our fingers crossed.

I'M BACK IN AMERICA JACK!!!

2007-10-06T18:10:00.000-04:00

Just for a few Weeks

I am sue ya'll will be wondering if I ever work because I ma always some where or the other. Well my long legs have carried me back to the shores of obodo oyibi, Detroit to be precise. I am in town for Majella's wedding. Actually the wedidng is over and Majella Caven does not exist anymore. It's Mrs Majella Nwagwu from now on. My friends Matilda and Bayode are here too. Matilda and I are about to do a toast to Majella at the end of the reception which we are waiting for right now. I am trying to dig up some dirt on Majella's but I can't think of anything now. I am sure it'll come flooding back soon. Anyways I'll be making some pit stops here and there, Los Angeles, Charlotte, Raleigh and several malls. Finally REAL MALLS!!! Anyways Matilda is harrasing me right now to gerrof this computer and get to the hall. I'll be back soon with all the lovely pictures form Majella's wedding. Over and Out

ADDY AND NUNU GO TO FIND SOME CHALEY'S IN GHANA -- PART 3

2007-09-21T06:50:00.001-04:00

Addy and Nunu’s Excellent Road Trip Across West Africa To Ghana

Accra, Kwame Nkrumah’s City

We rolled into Accra around 8pm. We had spent practically 10 hours on the road. We first went to the hotel just in front of the presidential villa called The Africa Regent. Now look at that sentence again (in front of the presidential villa). That just screamed expensive but I was like let me just walk in and scope the place out and find out how much May be as the sliding doors open, I will be the dream girl that one Chaley has been waiting for. I walked up to the counter, there were two fine boys standing as though they were in line. Now I knew they were not in line, but read my sentence again (fine boys) . I decided to ask if they were in line, just so that they can hear how sweet my voice is and we can make eye contact. They said no and I went ahead to ask the lady at the counter how much a room was. She said $250. In my mind I was let me quickly respect myself and turn around before these boys feel the vibration of my shudder upon hearing the price. I made a u-turn quick quick. Back to the van. I was like ‘Messter George plis another hotel. It is not like I will see the president from the window.’ We made our way to the next hotel, La Palm Beach Hotel. Now here’s the part that stumped me and changed the whole sequence of our adventure. Just as the hotel door man open the door and I looked up, I could not believe who was walking out of the hotel lobby about to hop into the van behind ours. A Party animal co-worker friend and his FRIENDS who were in town for the weekend. We were all tripped and were like ‘WHAT DA HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE...AIN'T UR ASS S'POSSED TO BE AT WORK?’ After exchanging our Ghana digits I went to ‘FIND OUT’ how much this hotel was now that there was actually a compelling reason to stay there. Meeeennn…here’s where the story changed. So the lady said it was $200 per night, we had only $700 and we were going to spend 4 nights, travel around town, do some tours and buy Ankara, akosombo and Woodin. You do the maths. We needed a miracle to solve this problem. So Enuka and I put our heads together and began thinking. Considering the fact that my friend and his friends are true blooded Nigerian boys who get a major plus for generosity (just by virtue of what many often call 'traditional social roles in Nigeria') if we spend our money on securing accommodation, chances are that we would not only have fun hanging out and tripping with them, but we can also guarantee safety and that when they order their food they will include us, so feeding too would be covered. Not to make it sound like a parasitic relationship Lol. We can go to Tejuoso Market and buy Ankara. But then again how can one come all the way to Ghana and not go home with anything. The other option was to go to Hotel Wangara for $80 a night but that would mean we would have to transport ourselves, roll around town alone (unsafe). We decided to cut our days short and do three nights. That left us with only $100, which we would manage VERY VERY well. We would make sure we get to the FREE breakfast at the hotel on time and eat plenty of food, find the Ghana version of Bojangles or Mr Biggs and microwave our food in the hotel. At worst we'll chop Ghana bread and coke and go to sleep. By the way a meal there cost like $200 and the food was not that great. So Enuka and I said a prayer that nothing wil go wrong and it will all factor in and work out. Then I begrudgingly counted the money and gave it to the lady. At that point everything could go wrong but I swore that I would have a great time in Ghana and not THINK too hard. And as God would have it everything worked out perfectly. We had a great time with the boys at the empty club that night just cracking up and yabbing every thing and talking smack about some busted chicks we saw. There was one in particular that my friend insisted on calling ‘Ekaite’ because she looked like a housegirl. We all didn’t get back till like 5am and you can imagine how sluggish everyone was the next morning. But not us…we were up by 10am reading to have our breakfast just incase. After breakfast, we PSYCHED the boys, who ordinarily would not leave their hotel room at that time of the day (considering the fact that they'd done some serious SHAYOING) to follow us to El Mina Castle in Cape Coast. Why did we discover that the journey was 4-5 hours not 45 minutes. The Ghanaian accent must have confused me when I was getting that information. Upon further verification it turned out it was only really 2 and a half hours. We decided to go to the Independence square and the Kwame Nkrumah museum instead. We all got some education and in the short traffic made friends with the hawkers selling artwork. Those guys really saw dollar signs written all over our van because they kept bringing ugly masks to get our attention. It seem the uglier the better. The boys kept on buying and I did all the haggling. I took the opportunity to practice my bad ghanaian-slash-sierra-leonean-accent (the later courtesy of Desmina and her extended Salo family in the Triangle) By now it was already 3pm and we had walked around town a bit and everyone was pooped. We then went out to find Local cuisine and found Vic's Chop. The food was good and I swear it's the cleanest buka I've seen. I mean we could have gone elsewhere to a fancy middle-purse type restaurant but the shuttle driver didn't know anywhere esle. So we were like 'Oh well what the heck... we are experiencing the culture.'

We went back to the hotel and Enuka and I slept till the next day. Watching Nollywood films in between. The next day Saturday, the boys had to leave and we had some change left to each buy a 6 yarder of fabric for ourselves so we decided to go to the market. Now I came up with the brilliant idea to shop for the boys so they would take something back to their wifeys and girlfriends. Now ya’ll don’t get mad, there’s no way you expect a bloke to go and buy Ankara in the market. They have no clue what to do and are totally helpless in that department. I mean it was either that or a Ghana flag necklace from the airport. So i say ya'llowe me... 3 yards 'eash plis'. LOL. We ended up buying stuff for some who had given us money, but one or two didn’t. When they saw how pretty the fabrics were and their friends by now were rubbing it in and saying 'oh Sarahtu would love this...and Janatu and Elizabetu can share this', they got jealous and felt left out. Determined not to be outdone or 'out-ankarad' they ended up buying mine and Enuka’s for...get this... DOUBLE THE PRICE. Trust Igbo girls to find every opportunity to do business. We each ended up going home with 12 yards of 4 different fabrics (we split them into 3’s) instead of 6. Sounds like a hustle to me. Naaaah!!! I am sure they were just INDULGING us for the sake of it after all these are Nigerian dudes we are talking about. LOL. But that was so totally dope because they really didn’t have to and it meant a lot to us cos we were stumped that we'd come all the way to Ghana and were leaving with onext to nothing(THANK A LOT PALS.. YOU RAWK MAJORLY!!). Don’t worry when my tailor is done, I will show you the sturvs men…VERY lovely shiny Ankara fabric. When I got home my mom and my sisters were already bribing me with FOOD to trade my Ankara. Lol. Can you imagine? My mom was like ‘Addy, I will make goat meat pepper soup for you.’ My sister and her friends have decided to go to Ghana in two weeks to buy their own fabric, so I will definitely be buying more. The drive back was depressing so I will not share that part of the story. Well here's the best part we all love. Here the PICTURES FROM OUR ROAD TRIP and stay in Ghana. Where next do you think Addy should go. I am thinking I should do all of the ECOWAS countries. Or may be you’ld like to guess where my next destination will be. Ok why don’t we do that… the prize for the correct guess will be between a souvenir from that country or 5 yards of superior local fabric (eg Ankara, adire, woodin, printex). Make sure you leave your email in the comment section of this post.

ADDY AND NUNU GO TO FIND SOME CHALEY'S IN GHANA -- PART 2

2007-09-21T06:50:00.000-04:00

Addy and Nunu’s Excellent Road Trip Across West Africa To Ghana

Oh My Word We Are Definitely In Another Country

Crossing Seme Border was almost surreal but not quite. I mean this is the famous Seme Border that many people get yabbed and dissed over. Technically you can’t really ‘cross Murital Mohamed Airport’ to go to another country. You’ll end up in Ikeja or Mafouluku. But when you cross Seme border you have actually physically crossed over a map to another country. In fact what only separates you from being in another country is a long Bamboo stick on a metal barrel. We were fortunate enough to actually meet some nice customs officers who let Nunu and I take pictures and pose at the border. I can tell you that was the only border crossing picture we got. When we drove across the border into Benin Republic, I felt a little discomfort that made the ride just a little bit abnormal. When I realized what it was, the next thing that came out of my mouth in the most southern American accent is “Oh My Word We are DEFINITELY in another country.!!” The road was so smooth that the bus was not bumping around. It was too strange for my body, which is now quite used to dancing Ajasco and is very sensitive to ‘unbumpy’ roads. Unfortunately for me we were not in a personal car so we could not stop over in Cotonou to do some Vintage/ Thrift shopping. Cotonou is very famous for high-end second hand clothes or what we fashionistas call 'Vintage'(saying it with a french accent) for those of you who don’t know. Many have been known to find some fabulous designer items there for really cheap. It’s like Africa’s very own Flea Market. Anyways we drove past Cotonou’s less busy but clean streets. It was interesting seeing women on Motor-bikes/Okada/ scooters. They even had bike-lanes, something Nigerian roads lack. Enuka meanwhile had started sleeping but I was bugging her to stay awake. I on the other hand did not close my eyes at all because I wanted to SOAK up the sights of West Africa. We stopped along the road to buy GIANT LIVE CRABS (the driver did…crabs stink). One almost clamped my finger with its PINCERS (not claws). There was so much beautiful coastal landscape to behold. It is a shame that we have totally destroyed much of ours in the Lagos Met with trash, sand filing and reclaiming land to build homes and stuff or blocked it off with high rise buildings (BOY do I have beef with the Hotels, Banks and other springing development on the waterfront side of the Lekki Express…why deny me the pleasure of enjoying God’s gift of nature…shameful. Not to even mention those folks on stilt homes inching closer to 3rd Mainland Bridge. I am so feeling Fashola on his recent campaign to clean up the beaches. It’s a start) We hadn’t eaten and considering the fact that this was a highly unplanned trip, we did not buy any snacks to munch on in the car. We were so hungry that we bought FAN-YOGO (frozen yoghurt in a sachet) at every opportunity. We eventually got to Benin (pronounced Beh-neh), which is the border town before you get to the Togolese border. Here you could buy items with Naira, CFAs and Cedis. There were all sorts of things there on sale but mostly deep fried in palm oil (which I don’t like). Normally I would do some shakara and go hungry at that type of place BUT since i decided that we were going to experience the culture of West Africa, I was down to eat at the Border Buka. We ordered the normal regime, Rice and stew with meat. I was hoping the meat will speak French to me but it tasted like Nigerian meat. Lol. Not much difference. For the oddest reason one of the hawkers kept following us around with ‘bon-bon’ chocolate, as if it was by force for us to purchase it. I guess we looked like chocolate eating type.

Bonjour Mon Ami… Oui Oui … Huh Huh

When we got to the border between Benin Republic and Togo, Hilla Condi, it actually looked like a border. Trust us Africans to have a colorful gate. It was sort of funny and interesting at the same time. The border patrol guy came up to our van and tried to show us up with his French. I mean dude clearly saw the license plate read ‘Lagos-Nigeria’ and ‘MUS for Mushin’. So where the hell will we learn French from. He came up to the door and said something in French (which he translated as… you guessed it… What is your mission). We were like ‘Huh? Je ne parle pas...I no speakidi french’. He laughed and spoke in English for the rest of the conversation. Togo is truly a beautiful country. At least the areas along the coastal highway with the azure blue ocean. Much of the landscape is pristine and looks untouched. I am sure the damage lies beneath the trees and the sand.
Lome is also very ‘antique’ and ‘colonial’. In my head I was already picturing an independent movie being shot there. I am sure there are so many places like that in the country. I am sure Nigeria has some places like that but they might be mostly in the north (point of destination for another trip).

Oh Chaley…Is nat Werking Fer Me
We continued on, taking pictures along the way stopping at the Lome border to buy batteries (which didn’t work) and more FAN-YOGO. Lome, the Togolease capital actually is very close to the border. On the other side of the border gate is Aflao, Ghana. The immigration process on the Ghanaian side was the most organized and they actually search instead of just collecting your money and letting you pass. I was hoping the border would be cleaner that the Nigerian side ‘I wes on di-defence, bet it wes ok’ (Lol…that’s how Nana on WA Idols talks). Our bus driver took the scenic route up the coast of Ghana. The main Ecowas road that is a straight shot from Aflao to Accra is under construction like many routes in West Africa. The 2008 Africa Nations Cup is coming to Ghana and as such every one is fixing and face-lifting. Many Nigerian bus companies are even extending their route to Liberia, Senegal and Niger. The driver took a road called Keta Road. The interesting thing about Ghana that noticed is how clean, calm and serene it was. Ones environment is truly a reflection of the soul. They even had mile markers/ kilometer markers. All the signs were in place along the roads and there weren’t any ‘Vote for Me’ posters obstructing the street sign. Hardly any unsightly billboards or heaps of garbage. Even by listening to the radio you could tell that these people were of a peaceful nature. Imagine flipping through the radios stations in Lagos. On Cool Fm 96.9 you will hear Olu Maintain blaring ‘Oh Oh Yahoozeee eeee Yahoo…’. Then on Rhythm you will hear Tony Tetuila crying that he’s in love with two women and he doesn’t know what to do. You might even stumble upon ‘Wildchild’s Party’ every Friday night and JAJ's jim-jim rap music on Top Seven at Seven. Then you change to Brilla FM and all you hear is ‘Iz a GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!! The Golden Eaglets have served the Spaniards a bowl of Spanish Rice….Unbelievable’. I mean WTF!!!Lol!! Anyways let me fast forward. We had not booked any room in a hotel or anything. We were being like ‘white folks’ and doing ‘crazy shit’ like going to another country with no living arrangement. We decided to go from one hotel to another hoping for a good deal that will fall within our $80 /night budget. Now the following incident must have been God intervening to ensure that we had a swell time in Ghana.

ADDY AND NUNU GO TO FIND SOME CHALEY'S IN GHANA -- PART 1

2007-09-20T14:46:00.000-04:00

Addy and Nunu’s Excellent Road Trip Across West Africa To Ghana

(IN CASE YOU ARE NOT PATIENT ENOUGHT TO READ THE FOLLOWING POSTS HERE ARE THE PICTURES BUT YOU SHOULD READ IT THOUGH)

The Impetus
So the last week of August was odd and fabulous at the same time. I happened upon a few days off at work due to reasons beyond my control. I was quite upset and tried to sort things out but to no avail. Vex catch me and I was like omo, where I'm coming from (Yankee)is a very far place and therefore I shall not allow any ‘negative chi’ or 'Nigerian Factor' fog my head up. I called several airlines to find the cheapest ticket to London so that I can go sight seeing, as I have never been. When they told me how much it was, I thought to myself, “ How can I justify spending this much for only 5 days, when I am not Binta Yar’adua?” (Ok I just totally made that name up, I don’t think the president has a daughter by that name). I knew that no matter what, I had to leave this country called Nigeria otherwise I was going to go ballistics on some people. So like joke like joke I was like 'Bone, I am fading to Ghana". I called Ghana Airways and a round trip fare would cost N40,000. Now I tried to psyche one of my sisters to go with me but Nene had exams and Onyenachi…well she had more important things to do than indulge my spontaneity. So the only other person who was available was my friend Enuka, who just got done with her NYSC and by virtue of that was rendered penniless. So we had to come up with an alternative. So a wonderful thought came to my head. "Yo! Why don’t we take a bus."

What is Ya Mission?

We made a few calls and found out that the bus ride to Ghana would cost us only N12,000 roundtrip for each person. I thought about the fact that it was a 10 hour ride but then I thought about all the trips to my village and I was like, my butt is already flat and can take yet another 10 hours. We ended up going to Cross Country and boy were we lucky. We missed the 2nd bus and ended up being the only passengers on the 3rd bus. It was like being in our own personal car and the bus driver was very nice and became our tour guide along the Ecowas Road as it is called. We set out on the journey towards the Nigerian-Benin border around 10am. When we got to the very famous Seme Border, the customs and immigrations people asked us to get down from the bus and go to their office. Now it amazes me how different people ask different questions and address different people. When I was going to America for the first time, I had to go through customs at Amsterdam and Detroit. The officers that I met there had the same intentions as all border controllers but I noticed the difference. In Amsterdam, the guy smiled at me and was like, “Hello young lady, may I have your passport” I said sure, smiled back and handed it to him. “Oh wow… you are only 17 and traveling by yourself? What a brave little girl you are, so what brings you to America?” I’m going to school. “North Carolina has very good schools… it’s a long way from home so be careful.” He gave me back my passport and I trucked along. The same thing happened on the Detroit side, this time it was a woman. “Hi, hon…how was your trip…did anyone give you anything to carry…wow, you are just 17…my my my…when I was 17 I couldn’t take the bus to New York and here you are flying all the way from Africa. Welcome to America Darling” In between of course searching my bag, checking my passport and frisking me. Then upon arrival in South Africa I was greeted with a “Hello Sisi, Well-kom to Sad Effreeka…iz dis ya fest tam he-ya? Dis iz ah beauriful kentry… en-jaiy ya stey”. But do you want to know what happened to me on the Nigerian side the night before. Hmh… Just because I used RED pen to fill out the departure card, one baba-kasali decided to call me all sorts of names. I was like ‘This is a pink pen sir, and it doesn’t say any where on the card to use only blue or black…Ok can I please have another card and may I borrow one of your pens?” I was very nice and polite oh but this guy felt that since I speaking through my nose he would try to antagonize me. “ Is this where you collected the card? You din know before you were writing with red pen…did you buy biro for me?” Ha… see me see wahala. I looked back and the line was rather long. I boned and went to get another card and rewrote the stuff. But before I walked off I unconsciously hissed rather loudly in irritation only to incur the wrath of Baba-kasali. “Eh see dis small giel… iz it me that you are doing ‘chew’ for… you will come and tell me how you will pass here today… if you will get on this flight… you are hissing for me….I will show you..foolish girl?” Ha… at this point I was like Adaure, just calm down, this guy obviosuly does not 'LOVE MY STV' (LOL...it's a promo we're running). When I came back the guy made sure he ran to attend to me and instead of stamping my passport he went to report to some other guy and they asked me to walk into some space. Just as he started narrating and ‘telling lies on my head’, I was like, ‘Look Mister man, I don’t have your time, my passport and papers are complete, stamp it and let me go because you don’t want to mess with me in the way that you are intending this night because you'ld have picked the worng person to test.’ Another superior came and asked him what was up, by the time the guy said the reason he pulled me out was because I used a red pen and hissed at him, his superior was like, ‘stamp her passport jare and let her go my friend.’ Where exactly am I going with this story? Well, I was expecting the same reception at the Seme border.
“Hello… Good Afternoon.” Nunu and I walked up to this shoddy looking pair under a green canopy.
“Bring your passport (scrutinizing through dark aviators) Where are you coming from and where are you going?”
“We are coming from Lagos and are on our way to Ghana”
“Eh ehn ehn (still flipping through the passport) You are on your way to Ghana (I just said that…or did I stutter) 'Eye' see...What is ya mission?
“What do you mean what is our mission?” (this is me trying to extend the conversation)
“You mean to say you don’t have a mission?”
“We don’t have a mission…we just entered the bus to Ghana without any agenda… when we get to Ghana we will find a mission”
“ Ehn eh ..ok..What do you do?”
“I just finished my NYSC and am jobless with plenty time on my hands,” said Enuka
“I’m a journalist,” I said in the most uninterested manner knowing that that might prompt them to keep me longer or release us sooner, withut trying to extort money from us.
“Who do you work for and let me see your ID,” I produce my ID and she accesses it and passes it to the man sitting next to her and says to him, “They look like they are tourists just going on tour and sight seeing…ok you can go ehn…safe journey.”

RETRACTION OF 'WEDDING FEVER IS OFFICIALLY BACK' POST

2007-09-14T07:08:00.000-04:00

It's been brought to my attention that the above post has unfortunately been UTTERLY MISCONSTRUED and MISINTERPRETED and thus out of respect to the bride and groom I've decided to take it down. The intent of the post was to honor the wedding on my blog as I have done with others in the past and not to cause grief or disrespect to anyone. Especially not to the bride or groom, for whom this was a very special day. I understand that many readers are still getting used to my style of writing and my form of expession and may not have appreciated my description and humor. My apologies if any was directly offended. Having said that, I would like to reiterate the fact that this is a blog; an online diary, a public journal of personal views, opinions and interpretation. It's the world as Adaure sees it. I do enough self censorship as it is and the essence of blogging will be lost if I have to 'Mind My Language' all the time and worry about intent and purpose being mangled in misinterpretation. I will make an exception in this case ONLY as a sign of respect to Walter and Udo and because the intent, the essence and the humor has been miscontrued. This does not open the flood gates of retraction requests. Once again Adaure (that would be me...over here...yeah...Hi )and all her blog readers (that wuld be the rest of you) are wishing the couple a wonderful and happy married life....7X7X7 in years and KIDS too. Cheers guys (ok... easy up now... ya'll can put the gloves down... how 'bout some beer eh!)

YOU THINK NEW YORKERS ARE MEAN DRIVERS...

2007-09-13T05:59:00.000-04:00

Try Lagosians

Driving in Lagos is challenging. That's an obvious fact. The roads, the various coffins of wheels and let's not even talk about the Okada rider's. On several occasions, I've wnated to park my car, grab my big green umbrella and thwack the hell out of drivers and put the umbrella into the wheel spoke of those buzzing motorbikes. I mean where did we lose it in Nigeria. Why is it that when you put on your signal light to move into the next lane, it takes 5 cars to go past before the 6th feels sorry for you and lets you in. Why do people cut you off and then when you squeeze your face because they nearly hit you, they ask 'na your papa get road?" Why do the Okada riders insist on weaving in and out of your path and then when you hit them, they surround you and bring out daggers and arrows. Why do people keep honking when they see that the reason you are stopped is because there's a tanker trailer right smack in the middle of the road. Why do people insist on driving over the dividing line. WHY LAGOS WHY!!!!

BREAKING NEWS -- CELL PHONE AMBER ALERT

2007-09-10T03:30:00.000-04:00

PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK!!!!!

This is an emergency. I feel naked and helpless. Can you imagine someone had the audacity and the autocracy to pilfer Addy's phone. The phone that I managed to get as a birthday present from my dad, 5 months after. It happened at the wedding reception on Saturday. I just set the phone down along with my purse and camera to hug and shake someone and when I turned back around, the phone which I had put in the camera case was gone. The camera and the purse fortunately were still there. I was like that's odd, I know I just set the phone down just moments ago. Can what I am thinking really have happened. My friends who were there and another guest helped me look around for it and then I spotted some shady looking dude who didn't look like a guest and had started walking away suspiciously. My friends wen and shook him up a little bit and they gathered that there were two other men who were well dressed that had actually been stalking around for my phone and were talking about stealing it, but they had already left. While I don't buy that from the guy, I can see how that could have happened. See I was busy gossping and texting my friend back and forth. I also think the phone's spirit was also preparing me for the seperation because the whole of last week, I found myself forgetting my phone in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the radio studio, in someone's office etc. Plus everybody's eyes have been on that phone, admiring it and wishing they had that, and now it's gone. I swear I feel like I have lost a pet of something, because I am always on that bad guy, surfing the net, making notes, 'scheduling'. You know pretending like I am working when really I am sending text messages to Matilda, Ayisola, Ndidi and Singto. Oh and ofcourse I must not forget the messages to the cute blokes too and all the 'H-G-A' and 'C-B-A's' (hot guy alert and cute bloke alert) on your 12 o'clock. AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!

So this alert is going out to the whole of Lagos. If you are in possession of a cell phone that looks like the above picture -- please look in the text message section. If you see messages that are similar to the above, perhaps you are with my phone. If the names in the contact list are not your friends or have name entries that begin with 'De' please that might just be my phone. Or if you know you did not walk to the shop or market with money you worked for to buy the phone then it aint yours. And this is me just venting because the person who stole the phone probably has never been on the internet. I just need to vent. Anyways if anybody gets any strange call from anybody claiming t be my PA or assistant or some bullshit like that, please hang up o. I wil try to get my number back and if not I will let all who need to know what my new number is. May be you guys can go ahead an email me your numbers or send a message via face book. Please put in the subject line 'MY NUMBER' so that I can search for it within my emails. Meanwhile it appears there are no more 9300i's in Lagos or is theer any where else to get one apart from the Nokia shops, I-cell, Computer Village and Alaba Market. I'll try Mega Plaza this afternoon. (Kai!!! This is where an Aristo/ sugar daddy would have been useful in my life. Why the hell am I buying a phone in this Lagos when there are people getting them for free. See my life) Anyways I am making my way to one babalawo to invoke some 'MAGUN' jazz on the phone. That oughta teach the person not to fap people's things next time.

(Cough) Ehem... if there's anyone feeling generous and would like to replace my phone, I won't mind oh. May be you have a few too many or the one you gave your housegirl or boy is not being fully maximized to its utmost potential, 'plis consider me'. Right now I am eyeing the Nokia E90 below (yes I know o my eyes are big sha) LOL

SOUTH AFRICA TRIP PICTURES

2007-09-04T16:42:00.000-04:00

We All Love Pictures!!!!!

Addy doing the Jesus/ Leonardo Di'Caprio Titanic Pose

Ok so I finally found internet fast enough to load up all my South Africa pictures. I know... it took a whole month. Anyways lets just pray it doesn't take that long to get the Ghana Pictures up. Wondering what to expect in this album? Well I visited a few Townships, the Cape lighthouse and yes the penguins. Here are the PICTURES and check back for a video clip of the penguins... they were just too CUTE!!!

CONGRATS SEYI AND SIJI

2007-09-04T15:45:00.000-04:00

Keeping it Tarheel

This is yet another one whihc I was hoarding and may have goofed on as well. I guess you can call me Goofy.

Congrats to my friends (I seem to have a lot o) Seyi and Siji Gbade Alabi. They also tied the knot recently. I was only able to attend the traditional ceremony. Siji and Seyi are my friends from UNC. We were in OASIS, the African students organization and you can see those and the wedding pictures on their lovely website http://www.seyiandsiji.com/. They had their wedidng in Nigeria and also had a reception in Durham so my Dur'mite and Raleigh friends will be generous and provide us with those flicks or do I need to go and fap them from facebook.Lol.

Anyways Siji and Seyi, congratulations. Happy married Life. May you live long, have plenty children and grand children, build a big house with a big back yard, may you have leeches that will be coming to your house every sunday to chop eba...etc etc .. you know... all the works and sturvz. Demi and Oyinkan we are waiting for you o... or is there someone else that we should be expecting invitation from...hmh.. with all the pictures I am seeing... you people should give me ample notice o. YOu know buying ticket from Lagos to Obodo Oyibo is not like going to GreyHound o. Lol. I tried to think of a story on Siji but thre are just too many that I can't pick a good one...well except for the fact that we cannot see his chest again doing OASIS Jungle dances. That's now exclusively for the Mrs. Lol. May be Singto and Ndi can help out here. Once again cheers kiddos.

CONGRATS UYI AND HANA

2007-09-04T15:17:00.000-04:00

I so totally goofed on this one. I have been meaning to write a post about this wedding but I kept getting distracted. In fact I was actually hoarding it during my 'hiatus'.

Congratulations to my friend Uyi Imoisili and my primary & high school mate Hana (who by default is now my friend). They tied the knot/ got hitched/ jumped the broom on Saturday September 2nd 2007. Uyi and Hana went to ISL and they were a set above me. Funny how life turns out. They never spoke to each other back then and it turns out they were destined for each other. Hmh so could this then mean that your 'sweetheart' could just be right under your nose all this while and you are just too busy doing 'big-G' to notice. SHINE YOUR EYE!!!! LOL!! By the pictures I can tell the wedding was fabulous. Love love Hana's dress. Unfortunately I could not attend but I am popping my Yago and Egovin and drinking on your behalf. Here's to wishing you a happy married life, many children and a whole lot of love and money to train them.

Check out there wedding website : Uyi and Hana

and the pictures on 'Facebook' courtesy of Temi Kujore and Aluyah Imoisili

Addy and D'banj... Romancing on the Stage

2007-08-23T15:25:00.000-04:00

Just stole some of these pictures from somebody's facebook without permission (sorry boo)

D'banj checking out the Kokolette

Addy doing the Yahoozee Dance

Where the hell he was drahing me too only God knows... I didn't want to be kokoletized

By the look on my face you can tell I was mortified but trying not to show it

Here he must have been asking me to MARRY HIM...lol. I had to tell him no because I'm saving myself for John Legend

Say Hello to the New Chick on MTV Base

2007-08-23T04:15:00.000-04:00

Correction: Isis is HOSTING the MTV BASE/ MTN SEARCH for the Nigerian VJ. It's gonna be like a reality show type thingy, like Idols but they are looking for a VJ not a singer. I kinda got ahead of myself on tha breaking news tip and proceeded to misinform yall. But either ways Isis still gets a few slap on the back (i think i'll still get to piggy back along to SA).

Congrats 'Isis'

This is breaking news o.... Right now MTV Base Africa is revealing Silverbird's Fashionista and host of 'Entertainment Weekly' Keke 'Isis' Adenuga as their new VJ. Whoooo hoooo!!! YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!!!! I am so proud of you and excited for you. Hard work and patience does pay off (ooohhhh patience is a virtue boi!!I need to go pray for the patience part) . Ya'll know what this means for Addy. Well let me break it down... AN EXCUSE TO GO TO SOUTH AFRICA OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!! Lol!!! Anyways Isis has a blog that is stil under construction. http://www.lightscameraisis.blogspot.com/. I'll help her build it up one of these days so that you can see why she has the coolest gig at the station. She's so cool and not a boring newsbabe like me. Once again Kudos Isis. (Details later)

Meamwhile, we are reviewing resumes for consideration, especially if you are thinking of doing your NYSC in September. Especially looking for news junkies. Send me your resumes and cover letter detailing your interests, objectives and every other neccessary info. You never know where this could lead up to as you can see by the evidence above.

ARTISTE SPOTLIGHT -- ASA

2007-08-17T02:32:00.000-04:00

NIGERIA'S AFRO SOUL SONGSTRESS

Please who has heard Asa's latest singles 'Fire on the Mountain' and 'Fimisile'? Tell me that you did not think that was Corrine-Bailey Rae of somebody. When I heard Fire on the Mountain I was like ....HUH? Is that a Nigerian? I had to call the radio station to ask who it was because I missed the introduction. I wish I did not have technical handicaps otherwise I would download the songs for you to listen to. Is there an Asa myspace page out there? Please somebody send the link because I have searched for it and can't find it. Anyways, go out and buy Asa's album/single or ask your friends to send you a copy. Ya'll know if Addy likes something then it means that stuff is definitely HOT. I can just picture a video for the song already not just only on MTV base o...but MTV mainstream...BET etc. Ya'll in the diaspora need to seriously get her album and send it to all your local radio station DJ's. I have faith in that song and this musician and if there's anything I can do to help, I think I will and ya'll should too. So go and buy... don't burn or download only... go by and mail them out. Read more about Asa HERE and HERE

ON SLEEPING MY WAY TO THE TOP...

2007-08-16T10:42:00.001-04:00

(It's a hard knock life and as you can see it wears me out...)

The Myth About Successful Nigerian Women

Before I begin, I would first like you guys to read the article in this month’s Genevieve Magazine on Funmi Iyanda called “Taking Charge”. Some of her responses tie in to some of what I have to say in this blog entry.

**********************
I’ve always wanted the right opportunity to deal with this issue in my own time but unfortunately or fortunately a comment left in one of my posts last week compels me to treat this issue. The comment is from none other than our dear best friend ‘Anonymous’ who sometimes, and cowardly leaves nasty and spiteful messages on people’s blogs. I hope the amoeba of a person is reading so that he or she can see a mirror reflection of his or her stupidity, shallowness and ignorance through the computer screen. Here is the comment Anonymous left…

“We hear you are f*****g all 3 of the Bruces...is that true? They gave you a company house and car while your co workers don’t get either? You go Adaure...i knew you had more than beauty and brains. You also have Streetness.”

Ordinarily I would delete such a foolish comment or respond with the typical “do I need to respond to that?” or “I won’t dignify that comment with a response.” But interestingly this comment just played into my hands not just because of the nature but because I have been waiting for the opportunity to off-load on the true connotation and implication of comments like this (which I have been hearing since I was a child and continue to read in the papers) but didn’t quite find the right moment. It is truly sad (and I bet you it is other women who fuel and feed these kinds of rumors, further destroying the progress that some of us are making in Nigeria). Shame on you and all who peddle such without proof and fact and with the intent to bring people to disrepute. And for those women who do sleep/have slept their way through and you have fact and proof against them? So what? How does it concern you and how does it affect the price of tomatoes in the market. Please get a life my friend. The motto in the corporate world is and has always been 'the end justifies the means'. So stop hating and go get yours how ever you deem fit. I am sure there have been many interviews with leading women in Nigeria dealing with this issue, but in a recent interview in Encomium (sad, I read it, but only as part of work…u know keeping tabs on the Jones’s) Club Queen, Louise Priddy put’s it well when she says, “…they forget I’ve worked hard. I only just turned 30. I worked for 6 years and instead of giving praise for achieving the little that I have, they just write all sorts of things. You never hear them slugging other men off in the business; it’s always the young girl’s who are working hard and doing well. If you are working hard, female and single it’s almost a problem.” (And DHL just rang the doorbell to deliver my Platinum membership card to Bacchus…LOL)

I know we all love gist. In fact I have emailed the comment to a couple of my friends and we have had a good chuckle over it as we do with every other gist of this nature that we hear (Pretty much making an anthill out of a mole’s hole just because I can). So ya’ll please help me laugh at this rather ludicrous bit. But on second though and as my friend Ndidi says, these days you can’t swear for anyone because people are capable of things you never think to give them credit for. So who knows, may be my eyes have opened to the way things work in Nigeria, after all I have been in this country for 8 months so I should have picked up a few tricks here and there. Or could it be one of my alter egos going around behind my back and scoring some deals in the between the sheets. Damn you Carmen!! Remember what Santa said, ‘you’re not supposed to leave evidence behind, stupid’. That’s Carmen’s bad, sometimes she gets a bit generous and likes to think she is Mrs. Claus and not an ordinary Elf. The girl has ambition don’t you think. For anyone who’d like to get lessons please holler at me so I can show you the way. At this rate and going by recent reports, I should make Vice President of Silverbird TV by the time my contract is up for renegotiation. Dang if only I had negotiated the offer better in 2002, I just might have made Board of Trustees by now. Oh well, can’t cry over spilt milk, I just need to work with what God has endowed me with to get what I want and in the Nigerian context, that does not include my degree from University of North Carolina or the 10 year experience I have had with various media houses in the United States. Oh no, not at all. All I really need is a good demi-push up bra (like I need the extra help in that department), a pair of red stilettos, puckered up lips and talons to match, a hot skimpy dress and a packet of multicolored condoms to do the trick.(Wait a minute… that sounds like me on a Friday night…OOPS!! Scrap that!!)

Jokes aside ‘Anonymous’ could be one of three pathetic people; A lazy ass tabloid reporter, digging around for information especially with recent reports of some two month old stale gist. Haba! Mr. Pressman/Ms. Correspondent una too bam o. This my own gist is 8 months old so you should be fired for delivering stale gist like this. Anonymous could also be a bitter and jealous co-worker for whom I can’t but feel sorry for. This rumor actually started at the office before I had even spent a month there. There are other incredulous stories that I have heard that will make you bounce off the walls with laughter. Including one, or two that have a high school (ISL) twist to it and I shan’t get into that because it is WILD. As in people ask me these weird questions and I am like ‘Huh?’ and they go, ‘I thought they said…’ But that’s Nigeria for you though. Oddly enough I was warned about this and I expected it. Not saying that I have ‘made it’ or I’m taking trucks to the bank, but this person obviously doesn’t realize that in the corporate world, level pass level. Last time I checked people get employed based on how impressive their resume is or how large their personality is. And if I am going to transplant my life from another continent, don’t you think I would negotiate a strong and solid contract with all the necessary benefits to make it worth my while and comfortable a decision for me to make. You are very lucky I just have an ordinary $25k a year, UNC degree. What if I had a Harvard Business School degree? Ha!!! May be we’d be having your funeral because you would jump off Third Mainland Bridge if you hear about whatever that employment package would have contained. I would not only ask for corner office with ocean view, I would ask for a lagoon front house, fully serviced with a brand new Toyota Prado, 2 months paid vacation and an occasional ‘dubber’ every weekend (now that’s pimping). In fact with that kind of contract the Bruce Brother’s Three will be on vacation everyday because I’ll have everything under control. SHIIIIEEEETTTT!!!! LOL!!! I mean I can’t apologize for doing exactly what I was taught to do in college so wait till it’s time to get your contract renewed and ask for everything that Adaure gets. In fact ask for double since you probably are older than me and I’m just a small girl. And so that it doesn’t look like I am standing in the way of your progress I am wishing you GOODLUCK in that quest because you’ll need it. Finally, Anonymous might even be an acquaintance or a friend of an acquaintance. The ones who have beef with you but can’t stand up to your face and say what’s on their mind or deal with it. The Voltrons. Please state your mission…from where to where and how? Ha… see me see wahala.

If this person had even said ONE, this gist could have been plausible and believable, but all three of them? Haba…ntakiri muwa kwa (this little me again)? Hian….biko are you trying to kill me? Even the Akunakunas (Elebolo) from Sanusi Fafunwa have not done this time of Olympic Champion Marathon talk less of me. How can I juggle all that with my crazy hours and still be walking with straight legs. I’ll not only be in a wheel chair but the Lagos State Ambulance Service (LASAMBUS) will have to attach an ambulance to follow my car permanently and my bed would be a stretcher so that it can be easily wheeled out. HA HA HA….. I know I should not be making a joke out of it but I am just tickled that some people actually give me this much credit to even ask. As narcissistic as it sounds, I have to say that I am tripped. I have been making people burst into laughter over how dramatic I have been. Yeah…Totally going Drama Queen on this one.

This brings me finally to the question, why do many in Nigeria assume that successful Nigerian women, especially the young ones who attain high profile positions get there with their backs on the ground? This is not news because I have heard of many successful Nigerian women whose names have been muddied because say things like “I hear she is doing this minister and she got that contract by doing that senator”. What is up with that? Recently I got in an argument with an uninformed person about a successful under 30 chick. He claimed she got there with bottom power. If I hadn’t known of the particular contract that brought about the conversation, I may have been skeptical about defending her, but I knew and I was insulted by that statement and cursed the day light out of the guy that he felt small. Instead of applauding the young lady and giving her credit for being a shrewd business woman in a ruthless and aggressive environment they just drew their own shallow conclusion. Many of you may have even dealt with something similar to this; my friend bought a brand new car (which ain’t easy in Nigeria) and one day she was driving in traffic. As she was hustling to get in a lane some one yelled “Ashewo kuro lono ta lo fuen moto/ ta lo ra moto fuen (pardon my yoruba but it basically means, hooker get out the way, who gave you that car). I am sure many of you have unconsciously thought that when you’ve seen young women riding in big expensive cars. Even I do it and have begun to catch myself. We do sometimes tend to forget that may be they have a good job or their parents are rich and instead assume some champion godfather or aristo is sorting them out. I won’t be naïve and say there aren’t many who do that and fall into that category, after all in Nigeria philandering in a way of life for married men as they feel it is their God given right to have multiple women outside matrimony. They are not just good husbands; they say they are good Nigerian husbands because they still keep the original wife. Their wives tolerate it, young girls are taught to chase them because ‘small boys’ have nothing to offer and can’t take care of them and that it’s not that bad being a second wife. But that’s up for discussion another day. But back to the topic, several TV personalities and women in top positions in Nigeria have had to answer to/ ignore/ deal with questions/rumors of this nature that are rather insulting to our intelligence. I mean would I be doing my boss for a mere job of reading the news at a TV station that many in my profession outside Nigeria have never heard about. C’mon dawg… any idiot with an accent, pretty face and good speech could have gotten that job. Jobs like that are pedestrian in Nigeria. In many case you just have to have the ‘flare’ or have an inside connection. One thing that Nigerians need to get used to is that there are many of us young, intelligent and educated young women who will be flooding top positions in the country sooner than you can even think about it. We are everywhere now and we will be taking over more places. Gone are the days of flashing a boob and bending over to show our cleavage. No way Jose! And I’m not talking about the ‘madam’ types that come and occupy space in the office and bark orders around with nothing to show for it. Nope. The movement is long overdue and if you don’t know this now you better recognize and take note. There ain’t no stopping us with you nasty rumors and bellus yarns. STICKS and STONES baby….

WEDDING BELLS FOR MAJELLA

2007-08-16T09:22:00.000-04:00

http://www.majandchiji.com/

My girl Majella Caven is getting married on October 6th. Her wedding website is fresh out the box. Majella and I have been friends since we were in JSS 1. In regular years that's since we were 11. I am so excited for Majella and I can go on and on and on about how wonderful a person she is. This is surreal though because she is like the first in the bunch of my tight friends from high school to get married. It's about time!!! Dang it!! Lol. Anyways, enjoy browsing around the website and find out more about Majjie and her groom-to-be. I'll be back with more fun stuff on Majella (ya'll know I've got some good stories in my sack). I'm going out to get my yellow dress ready because I can't miss this one for the world. Love you Maj and looking forward to being at the wedding.

INTRODUCING HEAVEN'S NEWEST ANGEL

2007-08-10T14:00:00.000-04:00

Little Adaure (Akujobi)
December 31st 2006 - August 10th 2007

Little Adaure modeling for Big Aunty Adaure

Little Adaure with Aunty Nene

Little Adaure and Little Chibuike with Aunty Nene

When Granpa-Uncle Ben told me he was naming his grand daughter after me because I walked in to the house while he was brainstorming on a name, I was excited and apprehensive. Excited at the fact that I was getting a namesake upon whom I can dote exclusive love and attention by virtue of the fact that we share the same name. Apprehenisve because I wasn't sure my new neice would be able to live up to the reputation of a name like Adaure and that of her headstrong and opinionated Big Aunty Adaure. Especially because her parents are conservative. I guess we'ld never know now whether Little Adaure would have been a stubborn teenager, a good writer, a talkative, a restless traveller and everything else that she could have been. In the short time that Little Adaure blessed us with her presence, she was a bundle of joy. She was such a good and well behaved baby that latched on to me whenever I carried her. I think she got the hint that if there was anyone to cozy up to it was me. I will miss my Mini-Me dearly but I know for a fact that heaven is throwing out the red carpet for her. Sweetheart please put in a good word for your Aunty cos I'll need some inside connection with the Big Guy. We all love you and miss you already. Rest in peace till we get to see your beautiful face again.

COMING UP FOR A SECOND WIND SERIES

2007-08-06T22:15:00.000-04:00

CRAZY WORK HOURS
Believe it or not but it is 3.20am and I am stil at the station. I had to finish a news package and editing ran into the late night. You guys know how bad the Lekki Express has been lately so I had to sit put in the office, on an empty stomach, away from the comfiness of my bed. In fact I now typically 0nly spend between 5-8 hours, mostly sleep time, at home. It's ridiculous, especially when you are stil not getting things done because of TRAFFIC or the fear of it. I have also be occupied by the GYM. Yes I said gym, and knowing how gym inefficient I am ya'll know the reason cannot pass the curiousity of encountering a creature of the contrasting sexual category. Oddly enough, it's the only chance I have in weeks to do any blogging or blog surfing. So this is my Coming up For A Second Wind Series. I have posted the follwing entries for your reading pleasure. Hope it can hold your attention till I come back up for air again

How Addy was Kokoletized By the Kokomaster

Addy Goes to South Africa

Water Water Everywhere Yet None To Drink

Unfortunately all my pictures have not downloaded (and now it's 5am and I am heading home to catch some sleep before I come back here at 10am) so manage the ones that you can see.

HOW ADDY WAS KOKOLETIZED BY THE KOKOMASTER

2007-08-06T20:32:00.000-04:00

Officially A Kokolette

Indeed this is a case of 'Be Careful What You Wish For' and because of this I have to warn all you TATAFOs out there to seize and desist from leaking the gist of this blog to the relevant parties discussed. I mean sometimes you are not suposed to take everything I say so literally that my words begin to become actual true life manifestations.

So why did I become the butt of the joke at 'An Evening WIth D'Banj'. I know I said I wanted to be a Kokolette but did my initiation have to be in public. I mean I would have prefered to be Kokolettized anywhere else but on stage, with people pointing and laughing. OMG!!! I will not forgive the culprits of this 'Ground Will Not Open and Swallow Me Now' moment.

You don't know what the heck it is I am ranting about? Well lete me Pass the Koko to you.

So on July 28th 2007, Silverbird hosted 'An Evening with D'Banj' at the Banquet Hall of Eko Hotel and Suites to mark the 10th anniversary of Rhythm 93.7 FM. The day started first with me trying to make sure the winners of Addy's Free Tickets Giveaway gottheir tickets. I then went home to try to get dressed. My friend Ayisola helped me through a nightmare of changing from one otfit to another (Matilda can you believe, I have morphed into you, going through 5 outfits). I got to the venue on time to try to puppy dog my face to one free ticket. Just when I had thought I had escaped the paparazzi by pretending to be in deep conversation on the phone with my hair in my face, one of my three jolly bosses accosts me and you can imagine what was going on in Addy's head....DAMN! DAMN!! AND DOUBLE DAMN!!! At this point i just had to cheese a little hard. I thought this would be the end of it but little did I know what was 'in stock' for me.

Ik aka WildChild and Ali Baba played hosts and boy were they so funny. I didn't know Wildchild was that funny to carry a crowd of 'STIFFYS'. Yeah there were many 'huh, huh, huh' type people who are a bit 'up there'. As Ali Baba put it, 'A well Mannered Crowd'. Wel the whole I dea of the how was to have an interactive session with D'banj and ask him personal questions. People came with crazy questions like 'when last did you use the koko' (to which D'Banj answered, last night) and 'Knowing that Aids is real, do you use a raincoat/condom when using the Koko' 9he said yes) and other silly and funny questiosn that fans ask their stars. So Adaure and her big head, getting carried away with all the laughter and humor decides to ask her own question too. Forgetting that she is not a regular susie anymore by virtue of career path. Addy decided to also ask Dbanj a question. A question that I am sure has been burning in the minds of aspiring Kokolettes but they just could get a straight answer until now. I asked D'banj 'what do you really me when you say a kokollete must be gifted and talented' (you know how the song goes...owa gifted.. owa talented... yeah). Lord did I open a can of whoop ass on myself. First of all Wildchild by virtue of the fact that we are colleagues jumped at the opportunity to make me a scapegoat. He stretched and over stretched the question, tossing to Ali Baba who decided that D'Banj should come and show me what he means. D' Banj proceeded to come down from the stage and drag me on to SHOW me what he REALLY means by 'owa gifted.. owa talanted'. Chai!!! Walter's pikin has never felt so embarrased in this way since I wee-weed in my socks while on punishment in Staff School. D'banj proceeded to first taunt me by describing and alluding to my posteriors and dextiriors, the mammary glands and the arsenal factor or lack there of. I was red with shame, humiliation and shyness but I was laughing hard with tears almost fallins out of my eyes. I could not believe this was happening to me. The lights were also blinding and I felt I was in the middle of a Gestapo interrogation on Allo, Allo. Fortunately and thinking about it now, there was someone in the front row who I could see more clearly than anyone else, my friend's boss. I think I was able to see him because his bald head was deflecting the light. After assaulting me with his 'koko master gesticulations' (you can just imagine) he literally drags and pulls me back stage. You would think that would be the end of it....NOOOOOO!!!! Some one, another colleague decides to further compound my matter. Dbanj asked for three Silverbird Kokolettes. In my mind I was thinking, I hope this is notwhat I think it is. I whispered my fears to Isis and Roli of the Entertainment Weekly on STV fame... the other Silverbird Kokolettes that faced the likelihood of being kokoletized if things had gone as envisaged. D'banj asked Ben, our boss but he defered to Cecil Hammond, the Head of Silverbird Entertainment. Unfortunately for me, I was the closest and easiest to spot since I was wearing WHITE and so I was blindly honed on. AT first D'banj rejected me because he had already 'kokoletized' me and had my phone number. At this point I was like you know what, 'FUZZ IT'. I've already been embarrassed so I won't do any shakara and just present myself as a guinea pig for the Kokomaster. It wasn't as if saying no was going to help. I would look like a spoil sport and so I played along. I got on stage and did a few Yahoozee dance moves including 'the kpologo'.

So let's just say that you should not be surprised when in 9 months I announce the birth of 'Kokolettini' and 'D'banjerette'. Lol. If anyone attended the event please tell us what it was like from your vantage point. Also pictures will be most welcomed as I have not seen any from the show yet. This is probably a great assignment for Bella Naija.

ADDY GOES TO SOUTH AFRICA

2007-08-06T20:31:00.000-04:00

To Meet The Penguins

Addy Goes To South Africa

My trip to South Africa was impromptu. I have always dreamed of going to South Africa but the opportunity never came. Truthfully ‘the money’ never came. So when it came time for the CNN M-net Africa Journalist awards, I was all over it like white on rice. Somehow I forgot about it until like two weekends ago. Now it was interesting how I ended up with a ticket. As usual things are never straight forward in Nigeria. Apparently and because I book for a flight and hotel package, I had to pay in dollars. Now please explain to me why a company is transacting business with a foreign currency. I even went to the bank to get the dollars but they required me to produce the ticket first. A rock and a hard place, you say. The bank didn’t budge and the part that annoyed me was that the banker was actually encouraging me to use the black market. I would like to think that the finance houses are supposed to discourage patronizing the black market, but this bank manager was about to give me a phone number to one of the mallams at Eko Hotel so that I could change naira to dollars. Eventually I had to go back to the airline office and there they provided me with the number for a mallam after ‘asking’ for the manager did not work.
The plane ride was rather long. I stopped in Jo’burg first and then went of to Capetown. First of all can I say that the two airports are ‘airports’, magnificent edifices welcoming you to warm smiles and ‘welcome to south Africa sisi.’ Then the driver booked for picked me up and we headed for the hotel. Man if you have not been to Cape Town, you should take the trip on your next vacation and do the whole tourist thing. Anyways the first thing I did after checking in to the hotel was to find the mall. The hotel shuttle took me to the Waterfront Mall. The place is huge. I went bananas...finally, a real mall with Chinese food in the food court. I didn’t bring too much money for shopping so I just did the window shopping and bought some make-up. Since I didn’t know anybody there, I decided to be the friendly person that I am and walk up to some random people. I spotted two chiquely dressed girls who were looking at the mall guide and in the most southern American accent I said, ‘Now ya’ll ladies look like you know where to shop for nice clothes.’ They laughed and we started chatting and there I was in the southern most tip of Africa with my new South African friends. Anyways I did some shopping and then the whole tourist thing. I went to the Khayelitsha, Langa and Guguletu Townships, the ‘bougie’ area of Camps Bay where I would like to live ‘WHEN’ I move to Cape Town, and I did the Nature explorer thing and visited Cape Good Hope to see the Light House and the mountain peaks and of course the PENGUINS (oddly enough I kept on imagining them being served fried with a plate of jollof rice and plantains.). Speaking of which, I had PUMBA for lunch. No not the Warthog’s backside, but the rib. Unfortunately I left my camera on my dresser so I don’t have the picture, but I can tell you it tasted like regular ‘ribs’ from TGI-Fridays.

VISIT AGAIN FOR PICTURES OF MY SOUTH AFRICA TRIP coming soon

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE YET NONE TO DRINK

2007-08-06T19:59:00.000-04:00

FLOODING IN LAGOS

Me Knee Deep in Flood Water in my rather fashionable N2000 second hand Welly's which I bought on the roadside.

I was feeling like a photographer with this composition. I love the shot a lot

There’ve been a number of stories recently about flooding. Also a dam that was let open recently in Ogun State and that kinda brings to the forefront once again the issue poor drainage. I wrote this blog entry three weeks ago but with the crazy schedule I have been keeping. I hadn’t had time to post it. Please share your comments

So we’ve had enough of the True Love article and anniversary rah rah. It’s now back to business. The rainy season is in full swing, meaning unexpected showers and torrential rain falls that rival any, during a hurricane. It also means flash floods and other floating and swimming elements that I don’t need to mention just incase you are eating while reading this.
This past week the rains have been really heavy and the Lekki area has not been spared at all. Actually the Island is always one of the hard hit areas when it comes to flooding and the fact that the ocean is eroding into the area due to rising sea level and improper land reclamation doesn’t help the situation. One of the reporters at STV Viviane Irikefe went to an area in Osapa London where the flood water had covered a whole street and was knee deep. Ironically that street, Association Road is right where our home is being built. Luckily it’s accessible from the next street where the government has yet another abandoned or should I say incomplete road project. There are several all over Lekki and if at all they’re built, they’re filled with pot-holes for lack of maintenance or the use of CHEAP material, usually cement and gravel, a lot of beach sand and little or no tar. Dude!! Even I know that’s not going to stand a chance with the weight of vehicles, the run off from the rains that keep collecting due to poor drainage. Then another reporter Babs Daramola was able to get the attention of the Lagos State governor with his report about the flooded communities of Maiyegun and Ologolo. Those guys should practically give it up and raise their homes up with stilts. The interesting thing is that someone on the governor’s team has a great PR head on his shoulders. After seeing the exclusive report, the governor decided to tour the area and of course invited STV camera crew along. You know how it goes, make promises, plead for patience, the people go into a frenzy, hailing the governor, one or two invoking God and Jesus and declaring Fashola’s government is ‘Ijoba Akpako’, meaning ‘the government of the people. While that is confirmed by the number of people who came out to vote on April 14 and the result, you and I both know that little or nothing will be done about the flooding. If these were the days of the military regime, some big wigs, money machines or champion royal family would have been lobbying for the demolition of areas like that in the Island axis (if they haven’t already) so that the land can be resold for premium. Case in point, the Maroko demolition and land reclamation. The excuse then was flooding right? The people were relocated to the Jakande housing estate which is more or less now a slum. You should see how flooded the area is now. I have to drive by there several times a day and I think that’s why I am ticked about it. The folks there are used to it now that you’ll be impressed at the variety of Wellingtons/Rainboots you see them adorning as they wade through the puddle. These guys don’t need to look for homes with an ‘Ocean View’, they freaking live on ‘Ocean Drive’.
Seriously, I mean c’mon, the rainy season comes around year in year out and still we have the same problem talked about in the media over and over again. Remember the days of Newsline, when we saw this sort of thing and our mouths were agape. It’s not now that we’ve been talking about the Atlantic Ocean encroaching on Bar-Beach and Victoria Island, but it’s taken the entire time that I was out of the country for a visible solution to go from theory into practice. To make matters worse when it rains, theres a ripple… more like a crashing domino effect. Three drops of rain, the pot-hole on that bad road fills up causing it to because a sink hole because when they were building the road the used sand instead of tar. The hole gets deeper and wider because the land upon which the road is built is reclaimed with sand, but not tightly enough. So the small hole that should have been fixed in five hours becomes a huge gaping hole filled with water. Now it’s 2pm in the afternoon and rush hour traffic was only just building up. A journey that would have been only 2 hours with normal traffic literarily becomes a 6 hour ordeal because now, every car has to painstakingly maneuver around these water logged sinkholes and several pot-holes and traffic moves at a snails pace. God forbids a trailer or lorry loaded with livestock breaks down because its axle broke as it was trying to get over the pot hole. Here you are stuck in traffic, there’re ‘places to go, and people to do’. You pick up your phone to try to make a call, ‘Sorry, the number you are trying to call is not reachable at this time.’ You try again, ‘the number you are dialing is not on the glo-mobile network.’ You pick up your Celtel, MTN and Starcomms phone. Four different phones and phones lines because you are a boy-scout; You’ve be taught to ‘be prepared’ for moments like this but guess what? Those lines fail you because everybody is doing the same thing. The networks are either jammed or just don’t work as great as they should, considering all that money they collect. You get home only to discover there is no power because your neighborhood transformer is under flood water. Now those darned mosquitoes are gleeful about your days
Truthfully everyone is just waiting and praying for the dry season, even the farmers whose crops depend on the rain. I mean let’s get real, next year you’ll see video of these same areas with the people once again yelling, “Gov’ment should come and help us”. It’s so annoying because truthfully that’s really all they can ask for and say. It’s not by choice that they choose to live and remain in that condition. Rather it’s out of necessity. Even the rich and well off are helpless in this situation. I am hoping this time that the governor, Babatunde Fashola will actually make his word his bond. I’ll cut him some slack since he only just took the reins of office. BUT… in six months time, I won’t be so generous, after all the government of Lagos State is a continuum of the last 8 years of the previous administration. While Fash deserves the benefit of the doubt, his job should have started the day the election results were announced. I don’t envy him though, he’s certainly got his work cut out for him and it looks like he’s starting on a good note trying to mend fences with the Federal Government so that funds can be released to the state.
Anyways, I couldn’t resist the thrill of trying to find a ‘good flood’ so I took a team to try and find something for my Anderson Cooper wannabe news magazine show, HOTLENS. It starts on Monday at 9.30am on STV. The first show is a look at people living on the Breadline. It’s no 360 but we’re inching for that with every production. Well we went to find some high water and boy was I in for a wet day.

Follow THIS LINK TO SEE FLOOD PICTURES we shot in the Jakande Estate Area and along Agungi Road in Lekki. Please Share your flood/ rainy season experience and what you think is the solution the flooding problem in Lagos, besides the obvious which is better drainage.

An Evening With D'banj

2007-07-26T15:59:00.000-04:00

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!
Engee and Oby you guys have won tickets to an evening with D'banj.send me an email with your number.Make it quick so you guys can have a fun filled night its an event you cant miss. P.S i got hay fever in South Africa.

LOOKING FOR ME

2007-07-23T13:45:00.000-04:00

I'm drinking Umqombothi in South Africa!!!

Missed Nelson Mandela's 89th birthday by just a hair. Came down on Friday to attend the CNN Multichoice Africa Journalist Awards in Capetown on the 21st. I 'll be back in Africa... I mean Lagos with tidbits from my trip on Wednesday and I swear I have pictures. It's my first trip to South Africa and out of Nigeria in 7 months. Thank You Jesus!! Hallelujah!! I was beginning to go crazy in Nigeria. Plus it is winter here and that is helping to condition my voice back to normal. So now when I come back I can be all happy go lucky and relaxed for like one week before I begin to look crazy again.

Anyways I am off to see if I can find some 'lousy t-shirts' for my family members. You know the ones that say 'My -- went to SA-- and all she could by was this lousy tshirt'. May be I'll run into cooler stuff and a cute bloke on the SA Swim or Rugby team. Ya'll sistuhs know they are HOT!!

THIS DAY CONCERT GIST GALORE EXTRAORDINAIRE

2007-07-18T07:04:00.000-04:00

When Addy and John Legend Locked Eyes via Giant Plasma

It is Tuesday afternoon and I am still suffering from the concert hangover. I have been drinking Power Horse, lots of water and tea with lemon. I am basically trying to ‘regrow’ my voice. I cannot quantify the level of exuberant juvenile indulgence that I exerted this weekend (hmh...ogbonge beke. I hope I didn’t lose you guys there) you guys have heard the breaking news, some of the gist and seen some pictures but it cannot be complete without a perspective from my bubble. Let me start from the very very beginning including how I ended up at the concert.

SATURDAY
So I decided to go to the bank first thing in the morning to get money ‘just incase’ I caved in to the FOMO factor and decided to buy a ticket. I sent several texts to find people who would convince me. But I was a cautious buyer. I went to the mall however and got my sister and her friends the 10k tickets for the Sunday concert. My brother surprisingly is a UB40 fan but he couldn’t justify 10k since he only cared to see one artiste (I’m rubbing off on him quite well). I got to the This Day Media Center and at that point I was like, you know what, it’s ok if you miss it. I mean look at it this way, at least seeing John Legend will always be something look forward to. After all doesn’t the saying go that the worst thing after getting what you want is actually getting what you want. Right? So I got the tix and I left without one for my self. Boy was that walk to the car very long. My face was all hung and when I got into my car, I heaved a sigh, look on to the front passenger seat where I left my JL cd. I picked it up, ran my poorly manicured nail over JL’s picture and put it back down. “Another time Johnny, another time.”
I drove to the hair salon to get my hair done. The plan was that in my free-spirit-hippie-chick style, I would just wear my afro out. I am sure JL would have love to see the real me without my ‘darling yaki’. But seeing as I was not going, I felt that I’d just go ahead with it and jump around my room singing along to his CD. While I was there, I ran into a woman who helped run a charity for abandoned boys. I had the most interesting conversation with her. She told me about some home called ‘Hearts of Gold’ where they took in deformed babies abandoned by their mothers at birth. Some with three eyes, multiple limbs and all sorts of abnormal deformities that Africans attribute to ‘evil’. I have never heard of this place till now so I don’t know how true this is. She also told me about the boys in the home and one case she recently dealt with involving a young orphaned lady who came to their church in search of someone to take her baby as she said she would either throw the baby away or kill it because she would not be able to feed it. Apparently she could not marry the baby-daddy because her uncle would not allow them. The man then abandoned her in the first trimester after a scan revealed it was a baby girl. Anyways after she told me this, I was like, perhaps that what I needed to hear today. But as they say, where there is a will there is a way, and what God has put together, let no man put asunder. Just as I finished chatting with the lady my friend Ayisola calls to tell me that another friend’s sister was selling her VIP ticket for 15k. Now in my head I was thinking that I wasn’t expecting the JL concert to be packed so I would probably end up in the 50k section if I boned my face at security. So I was like SWEEEETTT!! I ran home to get changed. Meanwhile I had heard a rumor earlier that the Saturday concert had been postponed. My friend later confirmed it just as I left the house around 6.30pm to head to the event center. I was like ‘WHOA!!!! That’s even better. More than I really bargained for.” But considering the fact that I was all dressed up and had already heavily powdered my face, I had to find somewhere to go. Shoot!! MAC is like $40 here so I was not going to waste it. I ended up at the usual hang outs; Café Vergano, News Café, Saipan. I was actually going to go home after News Café but somebody mentioned that JL was at Saipan. But the EFFIZY was too much so he was locked away somewhere.

SUNDAY
I ended up back at the hair salon to get my ‘one-nation’ TV hair back. We were told the concert would start at 11am. But I have already mastered Nigerian events. They start 3 hours after the scheduled time. I was right. Shakira came on about 2.30ish but I, my sister and her friends were still at the hair salon. Some how we made it to Lekki at 2.45 all the way from Akoka. I could be exaggerating but my sister was driving very fast. We ran into the house and dressed up faster than fast faster than fast faster than fast (LoL… that’s a jingle on Cool FM). We eventually made it to the location only to sit and wait for a good hour and half before my hubby came on stage.

JOHN LEGEND LIVE AND DIRECT!!!!
As I am typing this and recalling my reaction I have a wide smile on my face. OMG!!! That boy was well created. Too cute!!! KAI!! Only John Legend can make a sweaty white t-shirt look so damn hot. As in if there were people around me when he came on stage, I didn’t want notice. Lol. A guy friend who was with me politely left so that I could engage myself in my fanaticism. I stood through out his performance, dancing, screaming and singing along the entire time. At one point I was like ‘na me be this…is this me?’ As in I was seriously grooving and slow dancing. I am sure people who watch STV news where like, is this the same ‘adaure’ that’s always like ‘good morning and welcome to stv am news.’ Believe it is the same, the one and only but high on some John Legend love man. I am like so speechless that I just cannot find the words to describe everything. I sha know that I underperformed as a John Legend fan because when he asked for a fan to come on stage, I should have ‘flewed’ over there. The past-past tense tells you clearly what I mean. I was seriously hating when that chick in the hat was there before we could say ‘john bull’. I am sure if I had boned and paid that 50k John would have seen me and ‘asked me’ to come on stage. Anyways it’s ok. As the women in Nigeria tend to say, he can run around, but ‘he’ll come back to me, he’ll come back to meeeee’. Anyways I shall stop here because I am grinning a bit too much that people are beginning to ask me why I have a smile on my face.

EVERYBODY ELSE
Now Rihanna almost put me to sleep but her brightness was blinding. I am not a fan but she was not lacking of those because all the small children and the men in the crowd were really feeling her. Now since everyone says I look like her, I was ready to stand in for her as ‘Rihanatu’. Can you guys believe there’s a song in Nigeria called ‘Ebute Metta’ that’s a parody of ‘Umbrella’. Nigerians are a trip. Even Big Lo has a ‘This is Why I am Hot’ parody called ‘This is Naija’. D’banj came on stage afterwards after another long wait to set up. Why they did not go ahead and build a second stage on the right is beyond me because the hall is begging for one, especially with an event like this. D’banj is BLOODY man. As in I have seen his performance like 4 times and the end is usually the same Tiv and Efik dancers but the dude always BURRRINGS it. No matter how many times you see him; there is always a freshness about his performances that always makes the stage and hall come alive. Everything including the chairs begins to dance. It’s amazing. Anyways after him Kelly Rowland and her dancers came on with an interestingly shiny outfit that I studied very well so that I could get my tailor to make. Lol. Kelly’s little bit was nice, and just as Ayoola said we were all skeptical about her being able to ‘perform’ especially after Beyonce already marveled Nigerians. Well she tried though and we were all grooving until she was missing from the ‘diva-strut’ line up. As in she straight up DUROPPED like a rag doll. We were all dazed for a moment and then we thought it was part of the act, may be a new song or something. But when they tapped her a couple of times and the babe no send, the dancers became all hysterical and dramatic. Security and all sorts came on stage. I am not sure if there was a doctor amongst them because it got really crowded. You would think they would want to give her some air or pour water on her or something. But no that didn’t happen. Instead they were there for a good 20 minutes. Unacceptable. The response and damage control should have been faster than that. Next time they need to have a stretcher and paramedics stage right or something. Anyways what ever was wrong with her, I am sure I didn’t pass the fact that perhaps she didn’t EAT. Yes doing all that power and might dancing in the Nigerian heat with just a Salad or something silly like that for lunch will make you faint. If Kelly Rowland had gotten the Naija treatment with a solid bowl of eba or fufu topped with Ogbono or Egusi soup, I think we’ld have been begging her to get off stage. Anyways Sasha came up next. I was upset for her because she is actually good on stage but how do you hype the crowd right after a guest in your country nearly dies because of the heat (come to think of it where were all the fans and ac’s. All that money and no investment in climate control?). I loved Sasha’s red coat. Very Jackie O. Now was it just me who thought that the guy in the dashiki and the fila with the big stomach who waddled across stage was part of Sasha’s performance. You know she was drumming and all (by the way that was tight) and I thought the guy was like a drum handler. Then she had the military thing and I was like perhaps she is trying to spoof politicians. But it turned out the guy was coming to announce that Kelly was ok. Now how rude was that. He was actually hurrying Sasha of the stage and signaling to her to round off her segment so he could waddle on and give his announcement. Whoever that dude was, and I imagine he’s one of the major organizers, WACK AND DISRESPECTFUL!! Waiting one minute to make the announcement would not have stopped the show, after all folks had been waiting in there for hours.
Before I continue, can I talk about the fact that people were straight up grocery shopping and bringing in the bags to the venue? Lol. The food/small chops was gone by like six pm and peeps were hungry. I had to send my driver out to Chicken Republic to buy ‘Fries and Chicken’ why did he come back an hour after telling me they didn’t have ‘fried rice’ so he bought ‘jollof rice’. I guess that was my mistake, I should have said ‘chips’. I also ran into Jewish dude number 2. Anyways I have lost track of the order but I think the mood was just dampened and I wanted to leave. They were setting up some turntables but when I saw a rather skinny DJ I was like it must be Mode 9. I can see those guys perform another time but I really needed some sleep so I can be at work in the morning at 5.30am. How about as I walked out of the entrance into the parking area, I just heard people screaming and the MC going, ‘straight from NYC ...P.DIDDY’. Whoa!! I ran back to my seat sharp sharp. Man I tell you Nigerians can rock and Addy can rock even harder. In fact my new name is ‘Rockette’. The whole place went wild and crazy. Diddy started by warming the crowd up with some Bob Marley hits. Then he went into his hard core rap. Then his hits. He then got some folks on stage. That little boy and his sister were absolutely adorable. The boy was like ‘my name is … and I’m from NIGERIA’ in the loudest and crunkest manner. Diddy was like ‘Ok men, I hear ya’. Then he asked the crown to bend down and play a game with him. He even called us out and was like ‘I know y’all like to feel act all cool around here’. LOL. I guess somebody gisted him. So everybody went low and then all of a sudden the speakers start blaring, ‘DON’T THIS SHIT MAKE MY NIGGAS WANNA JUMP JUMP!!!!” AWWWW NO HE DIDN’T!!! Every thing started jumping, both young and old. It was too crunk. Let me not even go into talking about his tribute to 2PAC with ‘CALIFORNIA’ and the one to BIGGIE with ‘Missing You’. He started with getting us all sad talking about losing a loved one and dedicating the song to them. So naturally when the hit song came on everyone was singing along. It was too dope. Puff never disappoints even with just himself, the dj and the mic. He’s just too bad. Anyways I left after him because it was like 1am already and I had lost my voice. I had tried at 9pm to get a coworker to fill in for me but no luck. I only had two hours of sleep and it was obvious because I sounded like a frog on the morning news. I heard Neyo rocked but I have seen him perform before and so I didn’t need to stay. Oddly enough there was a guy called Kolade or Gbolade who was sitting infront of us. He looks so much like Neyo. I had to take a picture with him a la celebrity look alike Nneyochukwu and Rihanatu. Lol

This Day TRY sha, I have to give them a few HANDS. Despite the ‘issues’ t was well worth my 15k o. I don’t know if it would have been worth the 50k if I had paid for both shows. Infact I would have been mad and forced my way to the EXTRA-VIP section and requested a bottle of champagne. Na wetin. At this point yeah, I just think This Day should just give up, I mean they have brought all the bringables and I don’t know if they can top it. Well unless if the next act is Michael Jackson. I have heard rumors about that one and I swear that’s how the rumor of John Legend coming to Nigeria started. So please This Day if you are planning to bring Wacko Jacko, please upgrade security and air conditioning and alert the Nigerian Military to take over security at the event and police the state because I imagine the rate of robberies will go up because no amount of 25-50k ticket will stop die hard MJ fans from seeing him live and direct. So does anybody know whose next so that I can start saving N100 per day so that I won’t bitch about the ticket cost.
Well I didn’t take any pictures because my camera which I just bought last June fell and BROKE. Yes indeed, so Addy has to put that back on the wish list (Oh by the way did I tell you I got my MAC G4, thanks to some corporate goodwill). So now I have to find another camera. But you can trust our Bella never to disappoint. She has the pictures from the concert HERE.
You can also see more pictures, all 105 of them on WireImage.
I am about to make JL’s pics my screen saver. Anyways TIX for an evening with D’banj are still up. I will randomly select and announce winners onWednesday the 25th of JULY. So indicate interest in the comment section HERE.

Other Blog Gist from This Day Concert
Taureanminx
Ayoola In Lagos
Mona

I also did the BLOG SEARCH for all of you so have a field time reading through all the gist

Oh and this caption on a picture from Mediatakeout.com is too funny. Since when did Fash become 'Mayor'? I thought he was a 'Governor'. Big difference people.

Confessions of an "American" girl raised by Nigerian parents

2007-07-14T13:49:00.001-04:00

I’m usually the silent one when all of my Nigerian friends start reminiscing on their grade school days. You see, I was born and raised in the United States to Nigerian parents and quite honestly, my school stories aren’t that interesting. Well, I take that back. To me and my other “American” friends, they are hilarious and everybody can relate, but to my Nigerian friends, my tales of grade school are probably boring, to say the least. Stories of my bully who would always trip me with her cello on the bus can never hold up to my friends’ grass cutting days with plain scissors. (I mean that’s how I understood it. How can they make you cut grass with plain scissors, where was the lawn mower?) As you can see, I just don’t get it! Anyway, I do feel that I have something that you (those raised in Nigeria) can understand. Though I was raised in the United States, my parents were still VERY Nigerian. Here’s my story…

My mom used to have a store back in the day. During my summer breaks, I’d spend most days at the “shop” with her. At first, it was kind of cool getting to run a cash register, but after a while (like the first hour of the first day), I was very bored. Why couldn’t I just go to the beach like Megan and Ashley or summer camp like Kelly or Brittany? Instead of long walks on the sand or cabins at Lake Pocahona, I’d be at the shop being forced to watch the Young and the Restless. For a 10 year old girl, that was so not fun! Along with watching every CBS soap, I was the shop “housegirl.” Every floor that needed to be swept or window that needed washing was my job. The shop was located in a strip mall that had a grocery store, drug store, hair supply store, some random store (clothing, rental center, etc.) that popped up for 3 months and left, and a hair salon. As you can imagine, I was the person who had to pick something up from the grocery store, go get change from the hair supply store, or make my mom’s hair appointment at the salon. By mid summer, your girl was very tired and irritated! Then one day, I think I went mad. My mom asked me to go get something from the grocery store and I flipped! I mean, I was like “why do I always have get something for YOU!” and “why can’t YOU just do it YOURSELF, I’m tired of being treated like a slave!” All of this was said with my whitest of white, white girl accent (with some black girl eye rolls and head motions- please just try to imagine). I actually went off on my very Igbo mother! Can you just imagine? Anyway, after minutes of “going off” I reluctantly went to Food Lion. As I was going, I was just rolling my eyes and murmuring all kinds of crazy stuff under my breath to her. The walk to the Food Lion, though about 4 stores away, seemed like an eternity. It was at this point that I realized just what I had done. I contemplated many things. I thought about running away (besides I saw kids doing it all the time on the soaps), I thought about calling 911 to report what was going to happen to me (knew this wouldn’t work), I thought about pretending that I was deathly ill (usually works for an only child), but I knew that all of that just wouldn’t do it. After picking up the item at the store, I headed back and decided that instead of becoming a street child in one big city and maybe being hauled off by social services to go and stay in a trailer with a foster mother, that I’d just pretend (as best as I could) that the incident never even happened. I would go back to the shop, clean the bathroom, wash the windows, and even give my mommy a back massage, all in an attempt at giving her some form of amnesia. Well much to my surprise, my methodology worked. I got back, but instead of me having to go out of my way to be very nice, it was the other way around. My mom was sooooooo extremely nice to ME. She laughed with me, asked me what I wanted to eat that night, and we exchanged all sorts of other pleasantries. It was greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat! Alas, I was in charge! “I bet she’ll never ask me to run an errand again,” I thought. She was so nice that I had totally forgotten about what had happened. We went on like this for about 3 hours. At the 3^rd hour mark, my mom went into the back room. She called for me and of course I happily answered. As I stepped in that room, I knew something was just not right. Immediately both of my feet entered into the back, the lights turned off and the door slammed. If I hadn’t been raised Catholic, I would have been speaking in tongues at this point, rejecting and rebuking any work of the devil in my life. The next thing I felt was plastic hangers all over my body. They were just breaking anyhow. I felt like I was going to die. After about a solid 15 minutes of beatings, my mom left the room. As she was going (while I was in fetal position on the floor) she warned me that if I ever spoke to her in that way again, I would be killed. The last thing I heard was “I brought you into this world and I can take you out if I like, stupid girl!”

Though I didn’t grow up in Nigeria, I think this beating story can stand up to most any Nigerian child’s story. If you can top this one, please let me know! My name is Patience, guest blogger #3! Peace and love!!!

RUNAWAY BRIDE... FAN, I MEAN

2007-07-14T07:04:00.000-04:00

Addy Might Jilt.... I mean Boycott John Legend

(disclaimer: ok this picture makes this whole entry seem freaky than funny. lol. What's next a voodoo doll and a shrine with JL's pix. Abeg o, it is not that serious. I just needed visual illustration)

It's sad but true. I know you guys have been looking forward to my union with John Legend at the This Day Music Festival. Yes I have been looking forward to it. But I got cold feet and now I am the 'Runaway Fan.'

No it has nothing to do with Kulutempa's revelation that JL has no 'real intentions' to come out of singledom. There are a whole lot of things that just make me say 'it dazn't werk fer me' as Nana on Idols West Africa would say. Here's the latest on the EVENT

Why am I having cold feet at the last minute or as my friend puts it, 'my spirit just doesn't want me to go.' Lol @ K'I'A :). Well let me breaki it down.

TIGHT HAND: If you were down here, you would think that some religious icons whose names start with 'J' and 'M' were coming. (Ah please don't complete it o, otherwise you can cause some people to riot and mess the whole concert up and give CNN a big story...please o). My be I am not well connected but there are no free tickets or complimentary tickets floating around. Unbelievable!!! This Day really 'FOOL PROOFED' not just full proofed the ticketing process. Lol. I actually had to go to the bank this morning to withdraw money just incase. I am holding out till 2pm to see whether anbything will surface. After that I guess it is 'O.Y.O' meeeenn. As in Addy you're On Your Own!!! Now you must wonder why the hell I just can't stop being a cheap freeloader, bone up and go and buy the 25k ticket. Or just buy the regular 10k traffic. It's not Like I caaaaaannn't buy it....right? Ok let's deal with that issue.

COST AND PRINCIPLES: This is usually an issue with these exorbitantly priced events in developing countries like Nigeria. Despite how much I have psyched myself that I will see John Legend in concert come rain or shine, my conscience cannot justify spending $200 (really $192 but when you add gas, traffic wait time and settling 'the boys' it adds up) on a concert when there are people in Darfur and Chad begging for 50cents to eat. Just last week my new show HOTLENS ran on STV (catch it at 9.30am mondays, this monday's is on illegal animal trade, don't miss it) and the subject was Nigerians Living on The Breadline. Less than a dollar a day, which is like less than N150. Yes indeed you can't help everybody but c'mon. Knowing this I don't think I would allow myself enjoy the concert. I would be putting up a big act and will it be worth it? I mean I know, it's John Legend and to top it up, UB40 with their 'RED, RED WINE' song. Ahhhh.....noooo.... I can't believe I am actually thinking too hard about this one. Again 2pm is my deadline, we'll see then if the demon on my left should is more convincing and lays out a compelling arguement than the angel on my right shoulder. Talk about, 'You can call me Al' as in Ally McBeal...ha ha ha rotf-lmao. Oh boy!! I am too funny I crack my self up sometimes.

SECURITY AND TRAFFIC: This is the real deterrent. Lately there's been a rise in armed robbery in Lagos especially along the Lekki Expressway. I have been very lucky considering the fact that I ply that road at ungodly hours due to neccessity (yeah right, half the time I'm driving back from a joint). It's been bad especially during traffic. That aside, even the traffic situation alone is scarry. If I used to ride Okada, I would not have an excuse but onme might end up sitting in traffic for up to two hours or walk a distance to get to the event center. I mean this may not happen, but from the reality on the groud based on what that road is usually like and the fact that it is one way in one way out, there's every likelihood that there will be some horror stories afterwards. I am not sure I am up to it.

So I don't know guys, I don't know. This is perplexing. I'm just 'Ordinary' people!! And I don't know which way... to go' or not to go. Is my meeting and seeing John Legend in concert before he fades away into irrelevance meant to be. Then there's the peer pressure. Some of my friends have gotten their ticket and are warning me to 'Stop all this fooling around' and get my ticket 'or I'll be the talk of the town' when City People comes up with the headliner 'Silverbrid News girl can't buy ticket, goes around begging.' LOL. Others are like they are not going, but I'm like they will soon be over come by the FOMO factor (fear of missing out) and make their way to the concert. I mean this is not trying to find a solution to World Peace ya'll but this is challenging. I mean I'm no longer 'Walking on Cloud 9' with my baby daddy John Legend instead I'm crashing from it. I guess this means no Jessica Adaeze Legend or Jason Chukwuemeka Legends coming anytime soon. Oh well, I guess I can settle with an EVENING WITH D'BANJ on July 28th.

Yes, the 'Kokomaster' is a far cry from John Legend. I mean Imagine D'banj trying to chat you up and ask you on a date. A whole fine babe like you. He spots you, walks up with his sunglasses (it is 10pm and you are indoors with only disco lights). With a sinister looking Don Jazzy walking behind. He 'yahoozees' towards you and says 'I'm Osky(mumbo jumbo) D'banj but my Jamaican friends call me D'banj'. Then he goes on, 'I don't know how to say this....... KOKOLETTE...1..2.. in my room me and you!!!" WHAT!!!! I don't need to tell you how that will come out of John Legend, who'll probably sign off with 'Woman...I want your babies.' Anyways I won't mind being a 'Kokolette' since I get free tickets.

By the way to mark NAIJA BLOG MONTH and celebrate alonmg with all my fellow JULY blog babies. Ya'll know yourselves. I'm giving away TWO TICKETS to AN EVENING WITH D'BANJ set for JULY 28TH. :). I'll randomly select a winner from commenters who indicate intrest. It's an opportunity to save your N5000... lol... a whole N5000. I'm sorry it's no This Day concert but do you know where P.DIDDY and co are carrying your N25k to. At least you know that your money is going towards 'local interests' INCLUDING yours truly. Lol . Gotta get on the road and clear my head and buy my duracell batteries just incase John Legend forgot his toothbrush and had to dash to SHOPRITE.

[ RHYTHM 93.7's WILD CHILD OR J-A-J BREAKS IN WITH AN ANNOUNCEMENT]

Is Addy going to damn the implications and just buy a ticket... Will John Legend get to meet his biggest fan in the whole universe... Will he serenade her with his tintilating voice and piano skills... Will Nduka at This Day's friends friends read this and call him up to give Addy the hook her Up... Will THISDAY put out a BOLO alert on Addy... Will Addy have to kidnap John Legend and stuff him in her closet especially after paying N25k... or will Area Boys now known as 'Western Nigeria Militant' aka 'Eko Oni Baje Boys' kidnap John Legend forcing Addy to come to his rescue. These are tough questions and we're all waiting to see how it unfolds. You don't want to miss the unfolding drama and it's all happening here so stay tuned. (Oh it's saturday guys... loosen up...LOL)

MORE 'EYES CANDIES' BELOW

No Elmo's not 'our' kid

Oooh.... I like a man in a red car...stylish

A fan probably shouting from upstairs.. I love you Johnny (no it wasn't me)