I'M BACK IN AMERICA JACK!!!

Just for a few Weeks

I am sue ya'll will be wondering if I ever work because I ma always some where or the other. Well my long legs have carried me back to the shores of obodo oyibi, Detroit to be precise. I am in town for Majella's wedding. Actually the wedidng is over and Majella Caven does not exist anymore. It's Mrs Majella Nwagwu from now on. My friends Matilda and Bayode are here too. Matilda and I are about to do a toast to Majella at the end of the reception which we are waiting for right now. I am trying to dig up some dirt on Majella's but I can't think of anything now. I am sure it'll come flooding back soon. Anyways I'll be making some pit stops here and there, Los Angeles, Charlotte, Raleigh and several malls. Finally REAL MALLS!!! Anyways Matilda is harrasing me right now to gerrof this computer and get to the hall. I'll be back soon with all the lovely pictures form Majella's wedding. Over and Out

ADDY AND NUNU GO TO FIND SOME CHALEY'S IN GHANA -- PART 3

Addy and Nunu’s Excellent Road Trip Across West Africa To Ghana

Accra, Kwame Nkrumah’s City




We rolled into Accra around 8pm. We had spent practically 10 hours on the road. We first went to the hotel just in front of the presidential villa called The Africa Regent. Now look at that sentence again (in front of the presidential villa). That just screamed expensive but I was like let me just walk in and scope the place out and find out how much May be as the sliding doors open, I will be the dream girl that one Chaley has been waiting for. I walked up to the counter, there were two fine boys standing as though they were in line. Now I knew they were not in line, but read my sentence again (fine boys) . I decided to ask if they were in line, just so that they can hear how sweet my voice is and we can make eye contact. They said no and I went ahead to ask the lady at the counter how much a room was. She said $250. In my mind I was let me quickly respect myself and turn around before these boys feel the vibration of my shudder upon hearing the price. I made a u-turn quick quick. Back to the van. I was like ‘Messter George plis another hotel. It is not like I will see the president from the window.’ We made our way to the next hotel, La Palm Beach Hotel. Now here’s the part that stumped me and changed the whole sequence of our adventure. Just as the hotel door man open the door and I looked up, I could not believe who was walking out of the hotel lobby about to hop into the van behind ours. A Party animal co-worker friend and his FRIENDS who were in town for the weekend. We were all tripped and were like ‘WHAT DA HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE...AIN'T UR ASS S'POSSED TO BE AT WORK?’ After exchanging our Ghana digits I went to ‘FIND OUT’ how much this hotel was now that there was actually a compelling reason to stay there. Meeeennn…here’s where the story changed. So the lady said it was $200 per night, we had only $700 and we were going to spend 4 nights, travel around town, do some tours and buy Ankara, akosombo and Woodin. You do the maths. We needed a miracle to solve this problem. So Enuka and I put our heads together and began thinking. Considering the fact that my friend and his friends are true blooded Nigerian boys who get a major plus for generosity (just by virtue of what many often call 'traditional social roles in Nigeria') if we spend our money on securing accommodation, chances are that we would not only have fun hanging out and tripping with them, but we can also guarantee safety and that when they order their food they will include us, so feeding too would be covered. Not to make it sound like a parasitic relationship Lol. We can go to Tejuoso Market and buy Ankara. But then again how can one come all the way to Ghana and not go home with anything. The other option was to go to Hotel Wangara for $80 a night but that would mean we would have to transport ourselves, roll around town alone (unsafe). We decided to cut our days short and do three nights. That left us with only $100, which we would manage VERY VERY well. We would make sure we get to the FREE breakfast at the hotel on time and eat plenty of food, find the Ghana version of Bojangles or Mr Biggs and microwave our food in the hotel. At worst we'll chop Ghana bread and coke and go to sleep. By the way a meal there cost like $200 and the food was not that great. So Enuka and I said a prayer that nothing wil go wrong and it will all factor in and work out. Then I begrudgingly counted the money and gave it to the lady. At that point everything could go wrong but I swore that I would have a great time in Ghana and not THINK too hard. And as God would have it everything worked out perfectly. We had a great time with the boys at the empty club that night just cracking up and yabbing every thing and talking smack about some busted chicks we saw. There was one in particular that my friend insisted on calling ‘Ekaite’ because she looked like a housegirl. We all didn’t get back till like 5am and you can imagine how sluggish everyone was the next morning. But not us…we were up by 10am reading to have our breakfast just incase. After breakfast, we PSYCHED the boys, who ordinarily would not leave their hotel room at that time of the day (considering the fact that they'd done some serious SHAYOING) to follow us to El Mina Castle in Cape Coast. Why did we discover that the journey was 4-5 hours not 45 minutes. The Ghanaian accent must have confused me when I was getting that information. Upon further verification it turned out it was only really 2 and a half hours. We decided to go to the Independence square and the Kwame Nkrumah museum instead. We all got some education and in the short traffic made friends with the hawkers selling artwork. Those guys really saw dollar signs written all over our van because they kept bringing ugly masks to get our attention. It seem the uglier the better. The boys kept on buying and I did all the haggling. I took the opportunity to practice my bad ghanaian-slash-sierra-leonean-accent (the later courtesy of Desmina and her extended Salo family in the Triangle) By now it was already 3pm and we had walked around town a bit and everyone was pooped. We then went out to find Local cuisine and found Vic's Chop. The food was good and I swear it's the cleanest buka I've seen. I mean we could have gone elsewhere to a fancy middle-purse type restaurant but the shuttle driver didn't know anywhere esle. So we were like 'Oh well what the heck... we are experiencing the culture.'


We went back to the hotel and Enuka and I slept till the next day. Watching Nollywood films in between. The next day Saturday, the boys had to leave and we had some change left to each buy a 6 yarder of fabric for ourselves so we decided to go to the market. Now I came up with the brilliant idea to shop for the boys so they would take something back to their wifeys and girlfriends. Now ya’ll don’t get mad, there’s no way you expect a bloke to go and buy Ankara in the market. They have no clue what to do and are totally helpless in that department. I mean it was either that or a Ghana flag necklace from the airport. So i say ya'llowe me... 3 yards 'eash plis'. LOL. We ended up buying stuff for some who had given us money, but one or two didn’t. When they saw how pretty the fabrics were and their friends by now were rubbing it in and saying 'oh Sarahtu would love this...and Janatu and Elizabetu can share this', they got jealous and felt left out. Determined not to be outdone or 'out-ankarad' they ended up buying mine and Enuka’s for...get this... DOUBLE THE PRICE. Trust Igbo girls to find every opportunity to do business. We each ended up going home with 12 yards of 4 different fabrics (we split them into 3’s) instead of 6. Sounds like a hustle to me. Naaaah!!! I am sure they were just INDULGING us for the sake of it after all these are Nigerian dudes we are talking about. LOL. But that was so totally dope because they really didn’t have to and it meant a lot to us cos we were stumped that we'd come all the way to Ghana and were leaving with onext to nothing(THANK A LOT PALS.. YOU RAWK MAJORLY!!). Don’t worry when my tailor is done, I will show you the sturvs men…VERY lovely shiny Ankara fabric. When I got home my mom and my sisters were already bribing me with FOOD to trade my Ankara. Lol. Can you imagine? My mom was like ‘Addy, I will make goat meat pepper soup for you.’ My sister and her friends have decided to go to Ghana in two weeks to buy their own fabric, so I will definitely be buying more. The drive back was depressing so I will not share that part of the story. Well here's the best part we all love. Here the PICTURES FROM OUR ROAD TRIP and stay in Ghana. Where next do you think Addy should go. I am thinking I should do all of the ECOWAS countries. Or may be you’ld like to guess where my next destination will be. Ok why don’t we do that… the prize for the correct guess will be between a souvenir from that country or 5 yards of superior local fabric (eg Ankara, adire, woodin, printex). Make sure you leave your email in the comment section of this post.

ADDY AND NUNU GO TO FIND SOME CHALEY'S IN GHANA -- PART 2

Addy and Nunu’s Excellent Road Trip Across West Africa To Ghana


Oh My Word We Are Definitely In Another Country




Crossing Seme Border was almost surreal but not quite. I mean this is the famous Seme Border that many people get yabbed and dissed over. Technically you can’t really ‘cross Murital Mohamed Airport’ to go to another country. You’ll end up in Ikeja or Mafouluku. But when you cross Seme border you have actually physically crossed over a map to another country. In fact what only separates you from being in another country is a long Bamboo stick on a metal barrel. We were fortunate enough to actually meet some nice customs officers who let Nunu and I take pictures and pose at the border. I can tell you that was the only border crossing picture we got. When we drove across the border into Benin Republic, I felt a little discomfort that made the ride just a little bit abnormal. When I realized what it was, the next thing that came out of my mouth in the most southern American accent is “Oh My Word We are DEFINITELY in another country.!!” The road was so smooth that the bus was not bumping around. It was too strange for my body, which is now quite used to dancing Ajasco and is very sensitive to ‘unbumpy’ roads. Unfortunately for me we were not in a personal car so we could not stop over in Cotonou to do some Vintage/ Thrift shopping. Cotonou is very famous for high-end second hand clothes or what we fashionistas call 'Vintage'(saying it with a french accent) for those of you who don’t know. Many have been known to find some fabulous designer items there for really cheap. It’s like Africa’s very own Flea Market. Anyways we drove past Cotonou’s less busy but clean streets. It was interesting seeing women on Motor-bikes/Okada/ scooters. They even had bike-lanes, something Nigerian roads lack. Enuka meanwhile had started sleeping but I was bugging her to stay awake. I on the other hand did not close my eyes at all because I wanted to SOAK up the sights of West Africa. We stopped along the road to buy GIANT LIVE CRABS (the driver did…crabs stink). One almost clamped my finger with its PINCERS (not claws). There was so much beautiful coastal landscape to behold. It is a shame that we have totally destroyed much of ours in the Lagos Met with trash, sand filing and reclaiming land to build homes and stuff or blocked it off with high rise buildings (BOY do I have beef with the Hotels, Banks and other springing development on the waterfront side of the Lekki Express…why deny me the pleasure of enjoying God’s gift of nature…shameful. Not to even mention those folks on stilt homes inching closer to 3rd Mainland Bridge. I am so feeling Fashola on his recent campaign to clean up the beaches. It’s a start) We hadn’t eaten and considering the fact that this was a highly unplanned trip, we did not buy any snacks to munch on in the car. We were so hungry that we bought FAN-YOGO (frozen yoghurt in a sachet) at every opportunity. We eventually got to Benin (pronounced Beh-neh), which is the border town before you get to the Togolese border. Here you could buy items with Naira, CFAs and Cedis. There were all sorts of things there on sale but mostly deep fried in palm oil (which I don’t like). Normally I would do some shakara and go hungry at that type of place BUT since i decided that we were going to experience the culture of West Africa, I was down to eat at the Border Buka. We ordered the normal regime, Rice and stew with meat. I was hoping the meat will speak French to me but it tasted like Nigerian meat. Lol. Not much difference. For the oddest reason one of the hawkers kept following us around with ‘bon-bon’ chocolate, as if it was by force for us to purchase it. I guess we looked like chocolate eating type.

Bonjour Mon Ami… Oui Oui … Huh Huh

When we got to the border between Benin Republic and Togo, Hilla Condi, it actually looked like a border. Trust us Africans to have a colorful gate. It was sort of funny and interesting at the same time. The border patrol guy came up to our van and tried to show us up with his French. I mean dude clearly saw the license plate read ‘Lagos-Nigeria’ and ‘MUS for Mushin’. So where the hell will we learn French from. He came up to the door and said something in French (which he translated as… you guessed it… What is your mission). We were like ‘Huh? Je ne parle pas...I no speakidi french’. He laughed and spoke in English for the rest of the conversation. Togo is truly a beautiful country. At least the areas along the coastal highway with the azure blue ocean. Much of the landscape is pristine and looks untouched. I am sure the damage lies beneath the trees and the sand.
Lome is also very ‘antique’ and ‘colonial’. In my head I was already picturing an independent movie being shot there. I am sure there are so many places like that in the country. I am sure Nigeria has some places like that but they might be mostly in the north (point of destination for another trip).


Oh Chaley…Is nat Werking Fer Me
We continued on, taking pictures along the way stopping at the Lome border to buy batteries (which didn’t work) and more FAN-YOGO. Lome, the Togolease capital actually is very close to the border. On the other side of the border gate is Aflao, Ghana. The immigration process on the Ghanaian side was the most organized and they actually search instead of just collecting your money and letting you pass. I was hoping the border would be cleaner that the Nigerian side ‘I wes on di-defence, bet it wes ok’ (Lol…that’s how Nana on WA Idols talks). Our bus driver took the scenic route up the coast of Ghana. The main Ecowas road that is a straight shot from Aflao to Accra is under construction like many routes in West Africa. The 2008 Africa Nations Cup is coming to Ghana and as such every one is fixing and face-lifting. Many Nigerian bus companies are even extending their route to Liberia, Senegal and Niger. The driver took a road called Keta Road. The interesting thing about Ghana that noticed is how clean, calm and serene it was. Ones environment is truly a reflection of the soul. They even had mile markers/ kilometer markers. All the signs were in place along the roads and there weren’t any ‘Vote for Me’ posters obstructing the street sign. Hardly any unsightly billboards or heaps of garbage. Even by listening to the radio you could tell that these people were of a peaceful nature. Imagine flipping through the radios stations in Lagos. On Cool Fm 96.9 you will hear Olu Maintain blaring ‘Oh Oh Yahoozeee eeee Yahoo…’. Then on Rhythm you will hear Tony Tetuila crying that he’s in love with two women and he doesn’t know what to do. You might even stumble upon ‘Wildchild’s Party’ every Friday night and JAJ's jim-jim rap music on Top Seven at Seven. Then you change to Brilla FM and all you hear is ‘Iz a GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!! The Golden Eaglets have served the Spaniards a bowl of Spanish Rice….Unbelievable’. I mean WTF!!!Lol!! Anyways let me fast forward. We had not booked any room in a hotel or anything. We were being like ‘white folks’ and doing ‘crazy shit’ like going to another country with no living arrangement. We decided to go from one hotel to another hoping for a good deal that will fall within our $80 /night budget. Now the following incident must have been God intervening to ensure that we had a swell time in Ghana.

ADDY AND NUNU GO TO FIND SOME CHALEY'S IN GHANA -- PART 1

Addy and Nunu’s Excellent Road Trip Across West Africa To Ghana

(IN CASE YOU ARE NOT PATIENT ENOUGHT TO READ THE FOLLOWING POSTS HERE ARE THE PICTURES BUT YOU SHOULD READ IT THOUGH)

The Impetus
So the last week of August was odd and fabulous at the same time. I happened upon a few days off at work due to reasons beyond my control. I was quite upset and tried to sort things out but to no avail. Vex catch me and I was like omo, where I'm coming from (Yankee)is a very far place and therefore I shall not allow any ‘negative chi’ or 'Nigerian Factor' fog my head up. I called several airlines to find the cheapest ticket to London so that I can go sight seeing, as I have never been. When they told me how much it was, I thought to myself, “ How can I justify spending this much for only 5 days, when I am not Binta Yar’adua?” (Ok I just totally made that name up, I don’t think the president has a daughter by that name). I knew that no matter what, I had to leave this country called Nigeria otherwise I was going to go ballistics on some people. So like joke like joke I was like 'Bone, I am fading to Ghana". I called Ghana Airways and a round trip fare would cost N40,000. Now I tried to psyche one of my sisters to go with me but Nene had exams and Onyenachi…well she had more important things to do than indulge my spontaneity. So the only other person who was available was my friend Enuka, who just got done with her NYSC and by virtue of that was rendered penniless. So we had to come up with an alternative. So a wonderful thought came to my head. "Yo! Why don’t we take a bus."

What is Ya Mission?

We made a few calls and found out that the bus ride to Ghana would cost us only N12,000 roundtrip for each person. I thought about the fact that it was a 10 hour ride but then I thought about all the trips to my village and I was like, my butt is already flat and can take yet another 10 hours. We ended up going to Cross Country and boy were we lucky. We missed the 2nd bus and ended up being the only passengers on the 3rd bus. It was like being in our own personal car and the bus driver was very nice and became our tour guide along the Ecowas Road as it is called. We set out on the journey towards the Nigerian-Benin border around 10am. When we got to the very famous Seme Border, the customs and immigrations people asked us to get down from the bus and go to their office. Now it amazes me how different people ask different questions and address different people. When I was going to America for the first time, I had to go through customs at Amsterdam and Detroit. The officers that I met there had the same intentions as all border controllers but I noticed the difference. In Amsterdam, the guy smiled at me and was like, “Hello young lady, may I have your passport” I said sure, smiled back and handed it to him. “Oh wow… you are only 17 and traveling by yourself? What a brave little girl you are, so what brings you to America?” I’m going to school. “North Carolina has very good schools… it’s a long way from home so be careful.” He gave me back my passport and I trucked along. The same thing happened on the Detroit side, this time it was a woman. “Hi, hon…how was your trip…did anyone give you anything to carry…wow, you are just 17…my my my…when I was 17 I couldn’t take the bus to New York and here you are flying all the way from Africa. Welcome to America Darling” In between of course searching my bag, checking my passport and frisking me. Then upon arrival in South Africa I was greeted with a “Hello Sisi, Well-kom to Sad Effreeka…iz dis ya fest tam he-ya? Dis iz ah beauriful kentry… en-jaiy ya stey”. But do you want to know what happened to me on the Nigerian side the night before. Hmh… Just because I used RED pen to fill out the departure card, one baba-kasali decided to call me all sorts of names. I was like ‘This is a pink pen sir, and it doesn’t say any where on the card to use only blue or black…Ok can I please have another card and may I borrow one of your pens?” I was very nice and polite oh but this guy felt that since I speaking through my nose he would try to antagonize me. “ Is this where you collected the card? You din know before you were writing with red pen…did you buy biro for me?” Ha… see me see wahala. I looked back and the line was rather long. I boned and went to get another card and rewrote the stuff. But before I walked off I unconsciously hissed rather loudly in irritation only to incur the wrath of Baba-kasali. “Eh see dis small giel… iz it me that you are doing ‘chew’ for… you will come and tell me how you will pass here today… if you will get on this flight… you are hissing for me….I will show you..foolish girl?” Ha… at this point I was like Adaure, just calm down, this guy obviosuly does not 'LOVE MY STV' (LOL...it's a promo we're running). When I came back the guy made sure he ran to attend to me and instead of stamping my passport he went to report to some other guy and they asked me to walk into some space. Just as he started narrating and ‘telling lies on my head’, I was like, ‘Look Mister man, I don’t have your time, my passport and papers are complete, stamp it and let me go because you don’t want to mess with me in the way that you are intending this night because you'ld have picked the worng person to test.’ Another superior came and asked him what was up, by the time the guy said the reason he pulled me out was because I used a red pen and hissed at him, his superior was like, ‘stamp her passport jare and let her go my friend.’ Where exactly am I going with this story? Well, I was expecting the same reception at the Seme border.
“Hello… Good Afternoon.” Nunu and I walked up to this shoddy looking pair under a green canopy.
“Bring your passport (scrutinizing through dark aviators) Where are you coming from and where are you going?”
“We are coming from Lagos and are on our way to Ghana”
“Eh ehn ehn (still flipping through the passport) You are on your way to Ghana (I just said that…or did I stutter) 'Eye' see...What is ya mission?
“What do you mean what is our mission?” (this is me trying to extend the conversation)
“You mean to say you don’t have a mission?”
“We don’t have a mission…we just entered the bus to Ghana without any agenda… when we get to Ghana we will find a mission”
“ Ehn eh ..ok..What do you do?”
“I just finished my NYSC and am jobless with plenty time on my hands,” said Enuka
“I’m a journalist,” I said in the most uninterested manner knowing that that might prompt them to keep me longer or release us sooner, withut trying to extort money from us.
“Who do you work for and let me see your ID,” I produce my ID and she accesses it and passes it to the man sitting next to her and says to him, “They look like they are tourists just going on tour and sight seeing…ok you can go ehn…safe journey.”

RETRACTION OF 'WEDDING FEVER IS OFFICIALLY BACK' POST

It's been brought to my attention that the above post has unfortunately been UTTERLY MISCONSTRUED and MISINTERPRETED and thus out of respect to the bride and groom I've decided to take it down. The intent of the post was to honor the wedding on my blog as I have done with others in the past and not to cause grief or disrespect to anyone. Especially not to the bride or groom, for whom this was a very special day. I understand that many readers are still getting used to my style of writing and my form of expession and may not have appreciated my description and humor. My apologies if any was directly offended. Having said that, I would like to reiterate the fact that this is a blog; an online diary, a public journal of personal views, opinions and interpretation. It's the world as Adaure sees it. I do enough self censorship as it is and the essence of blogging will be lost if I have to 'Mind My Language' all the time and worry about intent and purpose being mangled in misinterpretation. I will make an exception in this case ONLY as a sign of respect to Walter and Udo and because the intent, the essence and the humor has been miscontrued. This does not open the flood gates of retraction requests. Once again Adaure (that would be me...over here...yeah...Hi )and all her blog readers (that wuld be the rest of you) are wishing the couple a wonderful and happy married life....7X7X7 in years and KIDS too. Cheers guys (ok... easy up now... ya'll can put the gloves down... how 'bout some beer eh!)

YOU THINK NEW YORKERS ARE MEAN DRIVERS...

Try Lagosians

Driving in Lagos is challenging. That's an obvious fact. The roads, the various coffins of wheels and let's not even talk about the Okada rider's. On several occasions, I've wnated to park my car, grab my big green umbrella and thwack the hell out of drivers and put the umbrella into the wheel spoke of those buzzing motorbikes. I mean where did we lose it in Nigeria. Why is it that when you put on your signal light to move into the next lane, it takes 5 cars to go past before the 6th feels sorry for you and lets you in. Why do people cut you off and then when you squeeze your face because they nearly hit you, they ask 'na your papa get road?" Why do the Okada riders insist on weaving in and out of your path and then when you hit them, they surround you and bring out daggers and arrows. Why do people keep honking when they see that the reason you are stopped is because there's a tanker trailer right smack in the middle of the road. Why do people insist on driving over the dividing line. WHY LAGOS WHY!!!!

BREAKING NEWS -- CELL PHONE AMBER ALERT

PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK!!!!!

This is an emergency. I feel naked and helpless. Can you imagine someone had the audacity and the autocracy to pilfer Addy's phone. The phone that I managed to get as a birthday present from my dad, 5 months after. It happened at the wedding reception on Saturday. I just set the phone down along with my purse and camera to hug and shake someone and when I turned back around, the phone which I had put in the camera case was gone. The camera and the purse fortunately were still there. I was like that's odd, I know I just set the phone down just moments ago. Can what I am thinking really have happened. My friends who were there and another guest helped me look around for it and then I spotted some shady looking dude who didn't look like a guest and had started walking away suspiciously. My friends wen and shook him up a little bit and they gathered that there were two other men who were well dressed that had actually been stalking around for my phone and were talking about stealing it, but they had already left. While I don't buy that from the guy, I can see how that could have happened. See I was busy gossping and texting my friend back and forth. I also think the phone's spirit was also preparing me for the seperation because the whole of last week, I found myself forgetting my phone in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the radio studio, in someone's office etc. Plus everybody's eyes have been on that phone, admiring it and wishing they had that, and now it's gone. I swear I feel like I have lost a pet of something, because I am always on that bad guy, surfing the net, making notes, 'scheduling'. You know pretending like I am working when really I am sending text messages to Matilda, Ayisola, Ndidi and Singto. Oh and ofcourse I must not forget the messages to the cute blokes too and all the 'H-G-A' and 'C-B-A's' (hot guy alert and cute bloke alert) on your 12 o'clock. AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!

So this alert is going out to the whole of Lagos. If you are in possession of a cell phone that looks like the above picture -- please look in the text message section. If you see messages that are similar to the above, perhaps you are with my phone. If the names in the contact list are not your friends or have name entries that begin with 'De' please that might just be my phone. Or if you know you did not walk to the shop or market with money you worked for to buy the phone then it aint yours. And this is me just venting because the person who stole the phone probably has never been on the internet. I just need to vent. Anyways if anybody gets any strange call from anybody claiming t be my PA or assistant or some bullshit like that, please hang up o. I wil try to get my number back and if not I will let all who need to know what my new number is. May be you guys can go ahead an email me your numbers or send a message via face book. Please put in the subject line 'MY NUMBER' so that I can search for it within my emails. Meanwhile it appears there are no more 9300i's in Lagos or is theer any where else to get one apart from the Nokia shops, I-cell, Computer Village and Alaba Market. I'll try Mega Plaza this afternoon. (Kai!!! This is where an Aristo/ sugar daddy would have been useful in my life. Why the hell am I buying a phone in this Lagos when there are people getting them for free. See my life) Anyways I am making my way to one babalawo to invoke some 'MAGUN' jazz on the phone. That oughta teach the person not to fap people's things next time.

(Cough) Ehem... if there's anyone feeling generous and would like to replace my phone, I won't mind oh. May be you have a few too many or the one you gave your housegirl or boy is not being fully maximized to its utmost potential, 'plis consider me'. Right now I am eyeing the Nokia E90 below (yes I know o my eyes are big sha) LOL

SOUTH AFRICA TRIP PICTURES

We All Love Pictures!!!!!

Addy doing the Jesus/ Leonardo Di'Caprio Titanic Pose

Ok so I finally found internet fast enough to load up all my South Africa pictures. I know... it took a whole month. Anyways lets just pray it doesn't take that long to get the Ghana Pictures up. Wondering what to expect in this album? Well I visited a few Townships, the Cape lighthouse and yes the penguins. Here are the PICTURES and check back for a video clip of the penguins... they were just too CUTE!!!

CONGRATS SEYI AND SIJI

Keeping it Tarheel

This is yet another one whihc I was hoarding and may have goofed on as well. I guess you can call me Goofy.

Congrats to my friends (I seem to have a lot o) Seyi and Siji Gbade Alabi. They also tied the knot recently. I was only able to attend the traditional ceremony. Siji and Seyi are my friends from UNC. We were in OASIS, the African students organization and you can see those and the wedding pictures on their lovely website http://www.seyiandsiji.com/. They had their wedidng in Nigeria and also had a reception in Durham so my Dur'mite and Raleigh friends will be generous and provide us with those flicks or do I need to go and fap them from facebook.Lol.

Anyways Siji and Seyi, congratulations. Happy married Life. May you live long, have plenty children and grand children, build a big house with a big back yard, may you have leeches that will be coming to your house every sunday to chop eba...etc etc .. you know... all the works and sturvz. Demi and Oyinkan we are waiting for you o... or is there someone else that we should be expecting invitation from...hmh.. with all the pictures I am seeing... you people should give me ample notice o. YOu know buying ticket from Lagos to Obodo Oyibo is not like going to GreyHound o. Lol. I tried to think of a story on Siji but thre are just too many that I can't pick a good one...well except for the fact that we cannot see his chest again doing OASIS Jungle dances. That's now exclusively for the Mrs. Lol. May be Singto and Ndi can help out here. Once again cheers kiddos.

CONGRATS UYI AND HANA

I so totally goofed on this one. I have been meaning to write a post about this wedding but I kept getting distracted. In fact I was actually hoarding it during my 'hiatus'.

Congratulations to my friend Uyi Imoisili and my primary & high school mate Hana (who by default is now my friend). They tied the knot/ got hitched/ jumped the broom on Saturday September 2nd 2007. Uyi and Hana went to ISL and they were a set above me. Funny how life turns out. They never spoke to each other back then and it turns out they were destined for each other. Hmh so could this then mean that your 'sweetheart' could just be right under your nose all this while and you are just too busy doing 'big-G' to notice. SHINE YOUR EYE!!!! LOL!! By the pictures I can tell the wedding was fabulous. Love love Hana's dress. Unfortunately I could not attend but I am popping my Yago and Egovin and drinking on your behalf. Here's to wishing you a happy married life, many children and a whole lot of love and money to train them.

Check out there wedding website : Uyi and Hana

and the pictures on 'Facebook' courtesy of Temi Kujore and Aluyah Imoisili

Addy and D'banj... Romancing on the Stage

Just stole some of these pictures from somebody's facebook without permission (sorry boo)

D'banj checking out the Kokolette



Addy doing the Yahoozee Dance


Where the hell he was drahing me too only God knows... I didn't want to be kokoletized


By the look on my face you can tell I was mortified but trying not to show it


Here he must have been asking me to MARRY HIM...lol. I had to tell him no because I'm saving myself for John Legend

Say Hello to the New Chick on MTV Base

Correction: Isis is HOSTING the MTV BASE/ MTN SEARCH for the Nigerian VJ. It's gonna be like a reality show type thingy, like Idols but they are looking for a VJ not a singer. I kinda got ahead of myself on tha breaking news tip and proceeded to misinform yall. But either ways Isis still gets a few slap on the back (i think i'll still get to piggy back along to SA).

Congrats 'Isis'

This is breaking news o.... Right now MTV Base Africa is revealing Silverbird's Fashionista and host of 'Entertainment Weekly' Keke 'Isis' Adenuga as their new VJ. Whoooo hoooo!!! YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!!!! I am so proud of you and excited for you. Hard work and patience does pay off (ooohhhh patience is a virtue boi!!I need to go pray for the patience part) . Ya'll know what this means for Addy. Well let me break it down... AN EXCUSE TO GO TO SOUTH AFRICA OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!! Lol!!! Anyways Isis has a blog that is stil under construction. http://www.lightscameraisis.blogspot.com/. I'll help her build it up one of these days so that you can see why she has the coolest gig at the station. She's so cool and not a boring newsbabe like me. Once again Kudos Isis. (Details later)

Meamwhile, we are reviewing resumes for consideration, especially if you are thinking of doing your NYSC in September. Especially looking for news junkies. Send me your resumes and cover letter detailing your interests, objectives and every other neccessary info. You never know where this could lead up to as you can see by the evidence above.

ARTISTE SPOTLIGHT -- ASA

NIGERIA'S AFRO SOUL SONGSTRESS

Please who has heard Asa's latest singles 'Fire on the Mountain' and 'Fimisile'? Tell me that you did not think that was Corrine-Bailey Rae of somebody. When I heard Fire on the Mountain I was like ....HUH? Is that a Nigerian? I had to call the radio station to ask who it was because I missed the introduction. I wish I did not have technical handicaps otherwise I would download the songs for you to listen to. Is there an Asa myspace page out there? Please somebody send the link because I have searched for it and can't find it. Anyways, go out and buy Asa's album/single or ask your friends to send you a copy. Ya'll know if Addy likes something then it means that stuff is definitely HOT. I can just picture a video for the song already not just only on MTV base o...but MTV mainstream...BET etc. Ya'll in the diaspora need to seriously get her album and send it to all your local radio station DJ's. I have faith in that song and this musician and if there's anything I can do to help, I think I will and ya'll should too. So go and buy... don't burn or download only... go by and mail them out. Read more about Asa HERE and HERE

ON SLEEPING MY WAY TO THE TOP...

(It's a hard knock life and as you can see it wears me out...)



The Myth About Successful Nigerian Women

Before I begin, I would first like you guys to read the article in this month’s Genevieve Magazine on Funmi Iyanda called “Taking Charge”. Some of her responses tie in to some of what I have to say in this blog entry.

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I’ve always wanted the right opportunity to deal with this issue in my own time but unfortunately or fortunately a comment left in one of my posts last week compels me to treat this issue. The comment is from none other than our dear best friend ‘Anonymous’ who sometimes, and cowardly leaves nasty and spiteful messages on people’s blogs. I hope the amoeba of a person is reading so that he or she can see a mirror reflection of his or her stupidity, shallowness and ignorance through the computer screen. Here is the comment Anonymous left…

“We hear you are f*****g all 3 of the Bruces...is that true? They gave you a company house and car while your co workers don’t get either? You go Adaure...i knew you had more than beauty and brains. You also have Streetness.”

Ordinarily I would delete such a foolish comment or respond with the typical “do I need to respond to that?” or “I won’t dignify that comment with a response.” But interestingly this comment just played into my hands not just because of the nature but because I have been waiting for the opportunity to off-load on the true connotation and implication of comments like this (which I have been hearing since I was a child and continue to read in the papers) but didn’t quite find the right moment. It is truly sad (and I bet you it is other women who fuel and feed these kinds of rumors, further destroying the progress that some of us are making in Nigeria). Shame on you and all who peddle such without proof and fact and with the intent to bring people to disrepute. And for those women who do sleep/have slept their way through and you have fact and proof against them? So what? How does it concern you and how does it affect the price of tomatoes in the market. Please get a life my friend. The motto in the corporate world is and has always been 'the end justifies the means'. So stop hating and go get yours how ever you deem fit. I am sure there have been many interviews with leading women in Nigeria dealing with this issue, but in a recent interview in Encomium (sad, I read it, but only as part of work…u know keeping tabs on the Jones’s) Club Queen, Louise Priddy put’s it well when she says, “…they forget I’ve worked hard. I only just turned 30. I worked for 6 years and instead of giving praise for achieving the little that I have, they just write all sorts of things. You never hear them slugging other men off in the business; it’s always the young girl’s who are working hard and doing well. If you are working hard, female and single it’s almost a problem.” (And DHL just rang the doorbell to deliver my Platinum membership card to Bacchus…LOL)

I know we all love gist. In fact I have emailed the comment to a couple of my friends and we have had a good chuckle over it as we do with every other gist of this nature that we hear (Pretty much making an anthill out of a mole’s hole just because I can). So ya’ll please help me laugh at this rather ludicrous bit. But on second though and as my friend Ndidi says, these days you can’t swear for anyone because people are capable of things you never think to give them credit for. So who knows, may be my eyes have opened to the way things work in Nigeria, after all I have been in this country for 8 months so I should have picked up a few tricks here and there. Or could it be one of my alter egos going around behind my back and scoring some deals in the between the sheets. Damn you Carmen!! Remember what Santa said, ‘you’re not supposed to leave evidence behind, stupid’. That’s Carmen’s bad, sometimes she gets a bit generous and likes to think she is Mrs. Claus and not an ordinary Elf. The girl has ambition don’t you think. For anyone who’d like to get lessons please holler at me so I can show you the way. At this rate and going by recent reports, I should make Vice President of Silverbird TV by the time my contract is up for renegotiation. Dang if only I had negotiated the offer better in 2002, I just might have made Board of Trustees by now. Oh well, can’t cry over spilt milk, I just need to work with what God has endowed me with to get what I want and in the Nigerian context, that does not include my degree from University of North Carolina or the 10 year experience I have had with various media houses in the United States. Oh no, not at all. All I really need is a good demi-push up bra (like I need the extra help in that department), a pair of red stilettos, puckered up lips and talons to match, a hot skimpy dress and a packet of multicolored condoms to do the trick.(Wait a minute… that sounds like me on a Friday night…OOPS!! Scrap that!!)

Jokes aside ‘Anonymous’ could be one of three pathetic people; A lazy ass tabloid reporter, digging around for information especially with recent reports of some two month old stale gist. Haba! Mr. Pressman/Ms. Correspondent una too bam o. This my own gist is 8 months old so you should be fired for delivering stale gist like this. Anonymous could also be a bitter and jealous co-worker for whom I can’t but feel sorry for. This rumor actually started at the office before I had even spent a month there. There are other incredulous stories that I have heard that will make you bounce off the walls with laughter. Including one, or two that have a high school (ISL) twist to it and I shan’t get into that because it is WILD. As in people ask me these weird questions and I am like ‘Huh?’ and they go, ‘I thought they said…’ But that’s Nigeria for you though. Oddly enough I was warned about this and I expected it. Not saying that I have ‘made it’ or I’m taking trucks to the bank, but this person obviously doesn’t realize that in the corporate world, level pass level. Last time I checked people get employed based on how impressive their resume is or how large their personality is. And if I am going to transplant my life from another continent, don’t you think I would negotiate a strong and solid contract with all the necessary benefits to make it worth my while and comfortable a decision for me to make. You are very lucky I just have an ordinary $25k a year, UNC degree. What if I had a Harvard Business School degree? Ha!!! May be we’d be having your funeral because you would jump off Third Mainland Bridge if you hear about whatever that employment package would have contained. I would not only ask for corner office with ocean view, I would ask for a lagoon front house, fully serviced with a brand new Toyota Prado, 2 months paid vacation and an occasional ‘dubber’ every weekend (now that’s pimping). In fact with that kind of contract the Bruce Brother’s Three will be on vacation everyday because I’ll have everything under control. SHIIIIEEEETTTT!!!! LOL!!! I mean I can’t apologize for doing exactly what I was taught to do in college so wait till it’s time to get your contract renewed and ask for everything that Adaure gets. In fact ask for double since you probably are older than me and I’m just a small girl. And so that it doesn’t look like I am standing in the way of your progress I am wishing you GOODLUCK in that quest because you’ll need it. Finally, Anonymous might even be an acquaintance or a friend of an acquaintance. The ones who have beef with you but can’t stand up to your face and say what’s on their mind or deal with it. The Voltrons. Please state your mission…from where to where and how? Ha… see me see wahala.

If this person had even said ONE, this gist could have been plausible and believable, but all three of them? Haba…ntakiri muwa kwa (this little me again)? Hian….biko are you trying to kill me? Even the Akunakunas (Elebolo) from Sanusi Fafunwa have not done this time of Olympic Champion Marathon talk less of me. How can I juggle all that with my crazy hours and still be walking with straight legs. I’ll not only be in a wheel chair but the Lagos State Ambulance Service (LASAMBUS) will have to attach an ambulance to follow my car permanently and my bed would be a stretcher so that it can be easily wheeled out. HA HA HA….. I know I should not be making a joke out of it but I am just tickled that some people actually give me this much credit to even ask. As narcissistic as it sounds, I have to say that I am tripped. I have been making people burst into laughter over how dramatic I have been. Yeah…Totally going Drama Queen on this one.

This brings me finally to the question, why do many in Nigeria assume that successful Nigerian women, especially the young ones who attain high profile positions get there with their backs on the ground? This is not news because I have heard of many successful Nigerian women whose names have been muddied because say things like “I hear she is doing this minister and she got that contract by doing that senator”. What is up with that? Recently I got in an argument with an uninformed person about a successful under 30 chick. He claimed she got there with bottom power. If I hadn’t known of the particular contract that brought about the conversation, I may have been skeptical about defending her, but I knew and I was insulted by that statement and cursed the day light out of the guy that he felt small. Instead of applauding the young lady and giving her credit for being a shrewd business woman in a ruthless and aggressive environment they just drew their own shallow conclusion. Many of you may have even dealt with something similar to this; my friend bought a brand new car (which ain’t easy in Nigeria) and one day she was driving in traffic. As she was hustling to get in a lane some one yelled “Ashewo kuro lono ta lo fuen moto/ ta lo ra moto fuen (pardon my yoruba but it basically means, hooker get out the way, who gave you that car). I am sure many of you have unconsciously thought that when you’ve seen young women riding in big expensive cars. Even I do it and have begun to catch myself. We do sometimes tend to forget that may be they have a good job or their parents are rich and instead assume some champion godfather or aristo is sorting them out. I won’t be naïve and say there aren’t many who do that and fall into that category, after all in Nigeria philandering in a way of life for married men as they feel it is their God given right to have multiple women outside matrimony. They are not just good husbands; they say they are good Nigerian husbands because they still keep the original wife. Their wives tolerate it, young girls are taught to chase them because ‘small boys’ have nothing to offer and can’t take care of them and that it’s not that bad being a second wife. But that’s up for discussion another day. But back to the topic, several TV personalities and women in top positions in Nigeria have had to answer to/ ignore/ deal with questions/rumors of this nature that are rather insulting to our intelligence. I mean would I be doing my boss for a mere job of reading the news at a TV station that many in my profession outside Nigeria have never heard about. C’mon dawg… any idiot with an accent, pretty face and good speech could have gotten that job. Jobs like that are pedestrian in Nigeria. In many case you just have to have the ‘flare’ or have an inside connection. One thing that Nigerians need to get used to is that there are many of us young, intelligent and educated young women who will be flooding top positions in the country sooner than you can even think about it. We are everywhere now and we will be taking over more places. Gone are the days of flashing a boob and bending over to show our cleavage. No way Jose! And I’m not talking about the ‘madam’ types that come and occupy space in the office and bark orders around with nothing to show for it. Nope. The movement is long overdue and if you don’t know this now you better recognize and take note. There ain’t no stopping us with you nasty rumors and bellus yarns. STICKS and STONES baby….

WEDDING BELLS FOR MAJELLA

http://www.majandchiji.com/



My girl Majella Caven is getting married on October 6th. Her wedding website is fresh out the box. Majella and I have been friends since we were in JSS 1. In regular years that's since we were 11. I am so excited for Majella and I can go on and on and on about how wonderful a person she is. This is surreal though because she is like the first in the bunch of my tight friends from high school to get married. It's about time!!! Dang it!! Lol. Anyways, enjoy browsing around the website and find out more about Majjie and her groom-to-be. I'll be back with more fun stuff on Majella (ya'll know I've got some good stories in my sack). I'm going out to get my yellow dress ready because I can't miss this one for the world. Love you Maj and looking forward to being at the wedding.

INTRODUCING HEAVEN'S NEWEST ANGEL

Little Adaure (Akujobi)
December 31st 2006 - August 10th 2007

Little Adaure modeling for Big Aunty Adaure

Little Adaure with Aunty Nene

Little Adaure and Little Chibuike with Aunty Nene

When Granpa-Uncle Ben told me he was naming his grand daughter after me because I walked in to the house while he was brainstorming on a name, I was excited and apprehensive. Excited at the fact that I was getting a namesake upon whom I can dote exclusive love and attention by virtue of the fact that we share the same name. Apprehenisve because I wasn't sure my new neice would be able to live up to the reputation of a name like Adaure and that of her headstrong and opinionated Big Aunty Adaure. Especially because her parents are conservative. I guess we'ld never know now whether Little Adaure would have been a stubborn teenager, a good writer, a talkative, a restless traveller and everything else that she could have been. In the short time that Little Adaure blessed us with her presence, she was a bundle of joy. She was such a good and well behaved baby that latched on to me whenever I carried her. I think she got the hint that if there was anyone to cozy up to it was me. I will miss my Mini-Me dearly but I know for a fact that heaven is throwing out the red carpet for her. Sweetheart please put in a good word for your Aunty cos I'll need some inside connection with the Big Guy. We all love you and miss you already. Rest in peace till we get to see your beautiful face again.

COMING UP FOR A SECOND WIND SERIES

CRAZY WORK HOURS
Believe it or not but it is 3.20am and I am stil at the station. I had to finish a news package and editing ran into the late night. You guys know how bad the Lekki Express has been lately so I had to sit put in the office, on an empty stomach, away from the comfiness of my bed. In fact I now typically 0nly spend between 5-8 hours, mostly sleep time, at home. It's ridiculous, especially when you are stil not getting things done because of TRAFFIC or the fear of it. I have also be occupied by the GYM. Yes I said gym, and knowing how gym inefficient I am ya'll know the reason cannot pass the curiousity of encountering a creature of the contrasting sexual category. Oddly enough, it's the only chance I have in weeks to do any blogging or blog surfing. So this is my Coming up For A Second Wind Series. I have posted the follwing entries for your reading pleasure. Hope it can hold your attention till I come back up for air again



How Addy was Kokoletized By the Kokomaster

Addy Goes to South Africa

Water Water Everywhere Yet None To Drink





Unfortunately all my pictures have not downloaded (and now it's 5am and I am heading home to catch some sleep before I come back here at 10am) so manage the ones that you can see.

HOW ADDY WAS KOKOLETIZED BY THE KOKOMASTER

Officially A Kokolette



Indeed this is a case of 'Be Careful What You Wish For' and because of this I have to warn all you TATAFOs out there to seize and desist from leaking the gist of this blog to the relevant parties discussed. I mean sometimes you are not suposed to take everything I say so literally that my words begin to become actual true life manifestations.

So why did I become the butt of the joke at 'An Evening WIth D'Banj'. I know I said I wanted to be a Kokolette but did my initiation have to be in public. I mean I would have prefered to be Kokolettized anywhere else but on stage, with people pointing and laughing. OMG!!! I will not forgive the culprits of this 'Ground Will Not Open and Swallow Me Now' moment.



You don't know what the heck it is I am ranting about? Well lete me Pass the Koko to you.



So on July 28th 2007, Silverbird hosted 'An Evening with D'Banj' at the Banquet Hall of Eko Hotel and Suites to mark the 10th anniversary of Rhythm 93.7 FM. The day started first with me trying to make sure the winners of Addy's Free Tickets Giveaway gottheir tickets. I then went home to try to get dressed. My friend Ayisola helped me through a nightmare of changing from one otfit to another (Matilda can you believe, I have morphed into you, going through 5 outfits). I got to the venue on time to try to puppy dog my face to one free ticket. Just when I had thought I had escaped the paparazzi by pretending to be in deep conversation on the phone with my hair in my face, one of my three jolly bosses accosts me and you can imagine what was going on in Addy's head....DAMN! DAMN!! AND DOUBLE DAMN!!! At this point i just had to cheese a little hard. I thought this would be the end of it but little did I know what was 'in stock' for me.



Ik aka WildChild and Ali Baba played hosts and boy were they so funny. I didn't know Wildchild was that funny to carry a crowd of 'STIFFYS'. Yeah there were many 'huh, huh, huh' type people who are a bit 'up there'. As Ali Baba put it, 'A well Mannered Crowd'. Wel the whole I dea of the how was to have an interactive session with D'banj and ask him personal questions. People came with crazy questions like 'when last did you use the koko' (to which D'Banj answered, last night) and 'Knowing that Aids is real, do you use a raincoat/condom when using the Koko' 9he said yes) and other silly and funny questiosn that fans ask their stars. So Adaure and her big head, getting carried away with all the laughter and humor decides to ask her own question too. Forgetting that she is not a regular susie anymore by virtue of career path. Addy decided to also ask Dbanj a question. A question that I am sure has been burning in the minds of aspiring Kokolettes but they just could get a straight answer until now. I asked D'banj 'what do you really me when you say a kokollete must be gifted and talented' (you know how the song goes...owa gifted.. owa talented... yeah). Lord did I open a can of whoop ass on myself. First of all Wildchild by virtue of the fact that we are colleagues jumped at the opportunity to make me a scapegoat. He stretched and over stretched the question, tossing to Ali Baba who decided that D'Banj should come and show me what he means. D' Banj proceeded to come down from the stage and drag me on to SHOW me what he REALLY means by 'owa gifted.. owa talanted'. Chai!!! Walter's pikin has never felt so embarrased in this way since I wee-weed in my socks while on punishment in Staff School. D'banj proceeded to first taunt me by describing and alluding to my posteriors and dextiriors, the mammary glands and the arsenal factor or lack there of. I was red with shame, humiliation and shyness but I was laughing hard with tears almost fallins out of my eyes. I could not believe this was happening to me. The lights were also blinding and I felt I was in the middle of a Gestapo interrogation on Allo, Allo. Fortunately and thinking about it now, there was someone in the front row who I could see more clearly than anyone else, my friend's boss. I think I was able to see him because his bald head was deflecting the light. After assaulting me with his 'koko master gesticulations' (you can just imagine) he literally drags and pulls me back stage. You would think that would be the end of it....NOOOOOO!!!! Some one, another colleague decides to further compound my matter. Dbanj asked for three Silverbird Kokolettes. In my mind I was thinking, I hope this is notwhat I think it is. I whispered my fears to Isis and Roli of the Entertainment Weekly on STV fame... the other Silverbird Kokolettes that faced the likelihood of being kokoletized if things had gone as envisaged. D'banj asked Ben, our boss but he defered to Cecil Hammond, the Head of Silverbird Entertainment. Unfortunately for me, I was the closest and easiest to spot since I was wearing WHITE and so I was blindly honed on. AT first D'banj rejected me because he had already 'kokoletized' me and had my phone number. At this point I was like you know what, 'FUZZ IT'. I've already been embarrassed so I won't do any shakara and just present myself as a guinea pig for the Kokomaster. It wasn't as if saying no was going to help. I would look like a spoil sport and so I played along. I got on stage and did a few Yahoozee dance moves including 'the kpologo'.

So let's just say that you should not be surprised when in 9 months I announce the birth of 'Kokolettini' and 'D'banjerette'. Lol. If anyone attended the event please tell us what it was like from your vantage point. Also pictures will be most welcomed as I have not seen any from the show yet. This is probably a great assignment for Bella Naija.

ADDY GOES TO SOUTH AFRICA

To Meet The Penguins



Addy Goes To South Africa

My trip to South Africa was impromptu. I have always dreamed of going to South Africa but the opportunity never came. Truthfully ‘the money’ never came. So when it came time for the CNN M-net Africa Journalist awards, I was all over it like white on rice. Somehow I forgot about it until like two weekends ago. Now it was interesting how I ended up with a ticket. As usual things are never straight forward in Nigeria. Apparently and because I book for a flight and hotel package, I had to pay in dollars. Now please explain to me why a company is transacting business with a foreign currency. I even went to the bank to get the dollars but they required me to produce the ticket first. A rock and a hard place, you say. The bank didn’t budge and the part that annoyed me was that the banker was actually encouraging me to use the black market. I would like to think that the finance houses are supposed to discourage patronizing the black market, but this bank manager was about to give me a phone number to one of the mallams at Eko Hotel so that I could change naira to dollars. Eventually I had to go back to the airline office and there they provided me with the number for a mallam after ‘asking’ for the manager did not work.
The plane ride was rather long. I stopped in Jo’burg first and then went of to Capetown. First of all can I say that the two airports are ‘airports’, magnificent edifices welcoming you to warm smiles and ‘welcome to south Africa sisi.’ Then the driver booked for picked me up and we headed for the hotel. Man if you have not been to Cape Town, you should take the trip on your next vacation and do the whole tourist thing. Anyways the first thing I did after checking in to the hotel was to find the mall. The hotel shuttle took me to the Waterfront Mall. The place is huge. I went bananas...finally, a real mall with Chinese food in the food court. I didn’t bring too much money for shopping so I just did the window shopping and bought some make-up. Since I didn’t know anybody there, I decided to be the friendly person that I am and walk up to some random people. I spotted two chiquely dressed girls who were looking at the mall guide and in the most southern American accent I said, ‘Now ya’ll ladies look like you know where to shop for nice clothes.’ They laughed and we started chatting and there I was in the southern most tip of Africa with my new South African friends. Anyways I did some shopping and then the whole tourist thing. I went to the Khayelitsha, Langa and Guguletu Townships, the ‘bougie’ area of Camps Bay where I would like to live ‘WHEN’ I move to Cape Town, and I did the Nature explorer thing and visited Cape Good Hope to see the Light House and the mountain peaks and of course the PENGUINS (oddly enough I kept on imagining them being served fried with a plate of jollof rice and plantains.). Speaking of which, I had PUMBA for lunch. No not the Warthog’s backside, but the rib. Unfortunately I left my camera on my dresser so I don’t have the picture, but I can tell you it tasted like regular ‘ribs’ from TGI-Fridays.


VISIT AGAIN FOR PICTURES OF MY SOUTH AFRICA TRIP coming soon

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE YET NONE TO DRINK

FLOODING IN LAGOS

Me Knee Deep in Flood Water in my rather fashionable N2000 second hand Welly's which I bought on the roadside.

I was feeling like a photographer with this composition. I love the shot a lot

There’ve been a number of stories recently about flooding. Also a dam that was let open recently in Ogun State and that kinda brings to the forefront once again the issue poor drainage. I wrote this blog entry three weeks ago but with the crazy schedule I have been keeping. I hadn’t had time to post it. Please share your comments

So we’ve had enough of the True Love article and anniversary rah rah. It’s now back to business. The rainy season is in full swing, meaning unexpected showers and torrential rain falls that rival any, during a hurricane. It also means flash floods and other floating and swimming elements that I don’t need to mention just incase you are eating while reading this.
This past week the rains have been really heavy and the Lekki area has not been spared at all. Actually the Island is always one of the hard hit areas when it comes to flooding and the fact that the ocean is eroding into the area due to rising sea level and improper land reclamation doesn’t help the situation. One of the reporters at STV Viviane Irikefe went to an area in Osapa London where the flood water had covered a whole street and was knee deep. Ironically that street, Association Road is right where our home is being built. Luckily it’s accessible from the next street where the government has yet another abandoned or should I say incomplete road project. There are several all over Lekki and if at all they’re built, they’re filled with pot-holes for lack of maintenance or the use of CHEAP material, usually cement and gravel, a lot of beach sand and little or no tar. Dude!! Even I know that’s not going to stand a chance with the weight of vehicles, the run off from the rains that keep collecting due to poor drainage. Then another reporter Babs Daramola was able to get the attention of the Lagos State governor with his report about the flooded communities of Maiyegun and Ologolo. Those guys should practically give it up and raise their homes up with stilts. The interesting thing is that someone on the governor’s team has a great PR head on his shoulders. After seeing the exclusive report, the governor decided to tour the area and of course invited STV camera crew along. You know how it goes, make promises, plead for patience, the people go into a frenzy, hailing the governor, one or two invoking God and Jesus and declaring Fashola’s government is ‘Ijoba Akpako’, meaning ‘the government of the people. While that is confirmed by the number of people who came out to vote on April 14 and the result, you and I both know that little or nothing will be done about the flooding. If these were the days of the military regime, some big wigs, money machines or champion royal family would have been lobbying for the demolition of areas like that in the Island axis (if they haven’t already) so that the land can be resold for premium. Case in point, the Maroko demolition and land reclamation. The excuse then was flooding right? The people were relocated to the Jakande housing estate which is more or less now a slum. You should see how flooded the area is now. I have to drive by there several times a day and I think that’s why I am ticked about it. The folks there are used to it now that you’ll be impressed at the variety of Wellingtons/Rainboots you see them adorning as they wade through the puddle. These guys don’t need to look for homes with an ‘Ocean View’, they freaking live on ‘Ocean Drive’.
Seriously, I mean c’mon, the rainy season comes around year in year out and still we have the same problem talked about in the media over and over again. Remember the days of Newsline, when we saw this sort of thing and our mouths were agape. It’s not now that we’ve been talking about the Atlantic Ocean encroaching on Bar-Beach and Victoria Island, but it’s taken the entire time that I was out of the country for a visible solution to go from theory into practice. To make matters worse when it rains, theres a ripple… more like a crashing domino effect. Three drops of rain, the pot-hole on that bad road fills up causing it to because a sink hole because when they were building the road the used sand instead of tar. The hole gets deeper and wider because the land upon which the road is built is reclaimed with sand, but not tightly enough. So the small hole that should have been fixed in five hours becomes a huge gaping hole filled with water. Now it’s 2pm in the afternoon and rush hour traffic was only just building up. A journey that would have been only 2 hours with normal traffic literarily becomes a 6 hour ordeal because now, every car has to painstakingly maneuver around these water logged sinkholes and several pot-holes and traffic moves at a snails pace. God forbids a trailer or lorry loaded with livestock breaks down because its axle broke as it was trying to get over the pot hole. Here you are stuck in traffic, there’re ‘places to go, and people to do’. You pick up your phone to try to make a call, ‘Sorry, the number you are trying to call is not reachable at this time.’ You try again, ‘the number you are dialing is not on the glo-mobile network.’ You pick up your Celtel, MTN and Starcomms phone. Four different phones and phones lines because you are a boy-scout; You’ve be taught to ‘be prepared’ for moments like this but guess what? Those lines fail you because everybody is doing the same thing. The networks are either jammed or just don’t work as great as they should, considering all that money they collect. You get home only to discover there is no power because your neighborhood transformer is under flood water. Now those darned mosquitoes are gleeful about your days
Truthfully everyone is just waiting and praying for the dry season, even the farmers whose crops depend on the rain. I mean let’s get real, next year you’ll see video of these same areas with the people once again yelling, “Gov’ment should come and help us”. It’s so annoying because truthfully that’s really all they can ask for and say. It’s not by choice that they choose to live and remain in that condition. Rather it’s out of necessity. Even the rich and well off are helpless in this situation. I am hoping this time that the governor, Babatunde Fashola will actually make his word his bond. I’ll cut him some slack since he only just took the reins of office. BUT… in six months time, I won’t be so generous, after all the government of Lagos State is a continuum of the last 8 years of the previous administration. While Fash deserves the benefit of the doubt, his job should have started the day the election results were announced. I don’t envy him though, he’s certainly got his work cut out for him and it looks like he’s starting on a good note trying to mend fences with the Federal Government so that funds can be released to the state.
Anyways, I couldn’t resist the thrill of trying to find a ‘good flood’ so I took a team to try and find something for my Anderson Cooper wannabe news magazine show, HOTLENS. It starts on Monday at 9.30am on STV. The first show is a look at people living on the Breadline. It’s no 360 but we’re inching for that with every production. Well we went to find some high water and boy was I in for a wet day.

Follow THIS LINK TO SEE FLOOD PICTURES we shot in the Jakande Estate Area and along Agungi Road in Lekki. Please Share your flood/ rainy season experience and what you think is the solution the flooding problem in Lagos, besides the obvious which is better drainage.