Thursday, March 15, 2007

I'M 3 AWAY FROM 30!!!!

It's been a hot minute. So much has happened. First let me start by saying a big thanks you to everybody who called, sent a text and emailed me to wish me happy brithday. The love was overwhelming. I was just feeling like a super star. I remember last year how I was roastin by my self. Lol. You can say I made up for that one yesterday. Some people actually beat my parents to the 'midnight birthday call'. I didn't go to bed till like 2am because I was getting bad calls and responding to texts. Then how about I got 3 birthday cakes and still more expected by this weekend. FOR ONLY ADDY!!! I had to become the auntie giving the cake cause I shared one of the at work. Can't be eating all that sugar by myself. My dad even called me to tell me he would take me to Sheraton hotel. HA! HA! HA! I laughed so freaking hard at that. Such an old school cat my pops. What age does he think I am? 10!!! Lol. At least he didn't say Federal Palace Hotel. That place used to be the numero uno birthday lunch/dinner joint in town 'back in the day' when you ain't have one of those 'auntie gimme cake' parties. Anyways at the last minute some friends from work and I decided we'ld go out. We ended up at Bacchus' 6 degrees. The music was hella wack. 60's music, which I like actually but not on a night that I needed to be jumping and jiving. Anyways we moved downstairs and guess what they were playing. Some Danfo Drivers, Kolomental and Tu-Face. That's what I'm talking about. If you are wishing you were here don't worry because you didn't miss much. I am saving all the fun for my BIG 30TH BLOW OUT BASH. YEAH BABY!!!! I think I am the only woman I know who's actually looking forward to thirty. So all of you start saving to contribute towards my Red Porsche Carrera (i'm very simple and uncomplicated) because I must get it or at least test drive one at 30. LOL!!!!!

OK MOVING ALONG. I just got back from the Niger Delta so that means I was not kidnapped. I can't give anything away but al I have to say is that everything all makes sense. The reason I used to write those essays in college, the reason I stopped buying gas from Shell stations and the intrigue about the whole Ogoni Saga. It all makes a 'ship-load' of sense. What I saw brought tears to my eyes. I will give out all the details at the appropriate time so stick with me.

By the way I am also anchoring the news on Silverbird TV. You can catch me at 7pm and 10 pm Nigerian time on Mondays and Tuesdays for now. You can also watch STV live stream at WWW.JUMPTV.COM. If you missed Rhthym Unplugged, Man of the Year, Most Beautiful Girl In Nigeria, Mr. Nigeria-World 2007 and all those other events that ya'll are so curious about, you can find them all on the STV channel on that website WWW.JUMPTV.COM
Before I leave I have to tell this joke. Oh it was so funy when I first heard it. So the Niger Delta Militants who are on the rampage kidnapping white people/oyibos kidnapped one particular oyibo and tried to get a ransome. They called Chevron
"Hello is that Cheveron? We have ne of your oyibos here. Come and pay otherwise we wil kill him," the militant said.
"Sorry Mr. Militant but we don't have any missing oyibos," Chevron said in an american accent. The militants then called Shell.
"Is that Shell? ARe you people looking for any of your oyibos? We have one here o come and pay or else..."
Shell did a head count and there was no missing oyibo.
"Sorry Mr. Militant but our Oyibos are complete."
The militants getting frustrated calls AGIP, MOBIL AND BP hoping one of this oil companies will claim the kidnapped oyibo as money of their workers and pay them a huge ransome for his release. Unfortunately this was not shaping up a they'd hoped.
They were like "what kind of oyibo is this one sef. Ok let's tyr our luck and all the chinese embassy". There oyibos were complete.
Then in anger the militants turned to the oybo that they had kidnapped and yelled at him.
"My friend what kind of Oyibo are you? All the oil companies have rejected you including the chinese. What kind of oyibo are you? Talk now because my patience is trying"
Relieved that the militants finally gave him audience despite his begging and pleading, the kidnapped 'oyibo' explained himself.
"That is what I have been trying to explain to you since. You made a mistake. I am not oyibo. I am one of you people now. I am Ben Murray-Bruce from Silverbird, from Bayelsa sef." The militants were weak and hissed out loud. HA! HA! HA! And for those of you who don't know who Ben Bruce is...GOOGLE THAT!!!!

Ok Ok it was funnier when the comedian told that joke. Everybody practically fell off their seats including the butt of the joke himself. I am sure you'll find it somewhere on YouTube if you look hard enough.

Ok that's all the update for now. I'll be back soon. I know I know I owe you guys some pictures. I'll get it to you soon.

Meanwhile Ndidi, Singto, Des and Mati... MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH. XOXOXO!!!!