Thursday, March 15, 2007

I'M 3 AWAY FROM 30!!!!

HEY FOLKS
It's been a hot minute. So much has happened. First let me start by saying a big thanks you to everybody who called, sent a text and emailed me to wish me happy brithday. The love was overwhelming. I was just feeling like a super star. I remember last year how I was roastin by my self. Lol. You can say I made up for that one yesterday. Some people actually beat my parents to the 'midnight birthday call'. I didn't go to bed till like 2am because I was getting bad calls and responding to texts. Then how about I got 3 birthday cakes and still more expected by this weekend. FOR ONLY ADDY!!! I had to become the auntie giving the cake cause I shared one of the at work. Can't be eating all that sugar by myself. My dad even called me to tell me he would take me to Sheraton hotel. HA! HA! HA! I laughed so freaking hard at that. Such an old school cat my pops. What age does he think I am? 10!!! Lol. At least he didn't say Federal Palace Hotel. That place used to be the numero uno birthday lunch/dinner joint in town 'back in the day' when you ain't have one of those 'auntie gimme cake' parties. Anyways at the last minute some friends from work and I decided we'ld go out. We ended up at Bacchus' 6 degrees. The music was hella wack. 60's music, which I like actually but not on a night that I needed to be jumping and jiving. Anyways we moved downstairs and guess what they were playing. Some Danfo Drivers, Kolomental and Tu-Face. That's what I'm talking about. If you are wishing you were here don't worry because you didn't miss much. I am saving all the fun for my BIG 30TH BLOW OUT BASH. YEAH BABY!!!! I think I am the only woman I know who's actually looking forward to thirty. So all of you start saving to contribute towards my Red Porsche Carrera (i'm very simple and uncomplicated) because I must get it or at least test drive one at 30. LOL!!!!!

OK MOVING ALONG. I just got back from the Niger Delta so that means I was not kidnapped. I can't give anything away but al I have to say is that everything all makes sense. The reason I used to write those essays in college, the reason I stopped buying gas from Shell stations and the intrigue about the whole Ogoni Saga. It all makes a 'ship-load' of sense. What I saw brought tears to my eyes. I will give out all the details at the appropriate time so stick with me.

By the way I am also anchoring the news on Silverbird TV. You can catch me at 7pm and 10 pm Nigerian time on Mondays and Tuesdays for now. You can also watch STV live stream at WWW.JUMPTV.COM. If you missed Rhthym Unplugged, Man of the Year, Most Beautiful Girl In Nigeria, Mr. Nigeria-World 2007 and all those other events that ya'll are so curious about, you can find them all on the STV channel on that website WWW.JUMPTV.COM
Before I leave I have to tell this joke. Oh it was so funy when I first heard it. So the Niger Delta Militants who are on the rampage kidnapping white people/oyibos kidnapped one particular oyibo and tried to get a ransome. They called Chevron
"Hello is that Cheveron? We have ne of your oyibos here. Come and pay otherwise we wil kill him," the militant said.
"Sorry Mr. Militant but we don't have any missing oyibos," Chevron said in an american accent. The militants then called Shell.
"Is that Shell? ARe you people looking for any of your oyibos? We have one here o come and pay or else..."
Shell did a head count and there was no missing oyibo.
"Sorry Mr. Militant but our Oyibos are complete."
The militants getting frustrated calls AGIP, MOBIL AND BP hoping one of this oil companies will claim the kidnapped oyibo as money of their workers and pay them a huge ransome for his release. Unfortunately this was not shaping up a they'd hoped.
They were like "what kind of oyibo is this one sef. Ok let's tyr our luck and all the chinese embassy". There oyibos were complete.
Then in anger the militants turned to the oybo that they had kidnapped and yelled at him.
"My friend what kind of Oyibo are you? All the oil companies have rejected you including the chinese. What kind of oyibo are you? Talk now because my patience is trying"
Relieved that the militants finally gave him audience despite his begging and pleading, the kidnapped 'oyibo' explained himself.
"That is what I have been trying to explain to you since. You made a mistake. I am not oyibo. I am one of you people now. I am Ben Murray-Bruce from Silverbird, from Bayelsa sef." The militants were weak and hissed out loud. HA! HA! HA! And for those of you who don't know who Ben Bruce is...GOOGLE THAT!!!!

Ok Ok it was funnier when the comedian told that joke. Everybody practically fell off their seats including the butt of the joke himself. I am sure you'll find it somewhere on YouTube if you look hard enough.

Ok that's all the update for now. I'll be back soon. I know I know I owe you guys some pictures. I'll get it to you soon.

Meanwhile Ndidi, Singto, Des and Mati... MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH. XOXOXO!!!!

33 comments:

Ndidi said...

I miss you more, my dear. You're just blowing up, man! Keep doing your thing. Love you lots!! :)

mystoriesmytestimonies said...

i am second.....yippie...
love ur stories....
please send pic ...
thanks for the website address...will check it out ...
happy birthday ooooo...
may all ur dreams come true...

Calabar Gal said...

Happy Birthday Adaure!! Wishing you many more happy years ahead.

I'm definetely off to the JUMPTV site for the live streaming. I've been dying to see u in action and my sis says u r good.

LOL at the Ben Murray Joke. Had me in stitches.

NaijaBloke said...

Happy birthday jere Ada ...

Will check that site out ASAP

teatylawla said...

happy bday madam..enjoy!!!

confessions of a moody crab said...

Happy bday addy! Have fun being a year older. The ben murray joke had me in stitches...lmao

Oge said...

I do not know who you are, however, I think your writing style is captivating and your ambitions are commendable.
I am really looking forward to reading your piece on the Niger-Delta.

Tutsy said...

Happy birthday Addy.....wishing you many wonderful years to come!!!!

Mrs Somebody said...

Happy Buffday Adaure.You look so beautiful on STV I think their ratings have soared since you started anchoring the news.My nanny ran into the kitchen to call me....Aunty!Aunty! come see one African-American reading news on SILVERBIRD.

Omuluzua said...

Ada,
Happy Birthday O! may God grant you all your requests and many more happy years on blogsville!!

Shola said...

Happy birthday, all the best with your work, good to see you survived the Delta.

I'll check the website to see you in action.

Shola

kulutempa said...

miss you too sweetie! it was really good to talk to you the other day - i know i owe you a call...i'm getting round to it. so now they are calling you black american eh? lol...i guess those accent reduction CDs served you well! congs again on the anchoring gig; glad to see you're doing your thing over in nig. love you!

Suru said...

Aww, happy birthday Adaure and congrats on your gig. I guess it does pay to move back home. Be safe oh :-)

Confessions of Moody Crab said...

Hey Addy!! Just saw the STV 7pm News on JumpTV. I have to say I'm really proud of you!! Yay!!!

*doing victory dance*

You go girl!!!!

Bella Naija said...

Adaure!
Awww I didnt know your birthday passed!
Eyah....happy birthday!!!1
The JumpTV thing doesnt work for me.....
Anyway, be expecting a phne call...ciao

Oyin said...

I cannot beleive I forgot!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDY BABY!!! All the way from Queen City, North Carolina. Can't write much right now but I will be seeing you tis summer. Guess who is tying the knot Naija style.
Later,
Oyin

Lola said...

Adaure!!! Happy Bday! I haven't seen you on STV yet, but definitely today i'll try and catch it! hey do you know nneka adigwe?!?! she's a friend of singto's and a good friend of mine. anyway keep doing you!

uknaija said...

You're back, yay! Happy birthday and looking forward to the Naija delta jist

Wole's Girl said...

Happy Birthday Adaure!
I have stumbled on your site, and its worth every second of my assignment-evading, study-ignoring, sleep-cheating time to catch up on ALL the stuff I have missed about your life.......
Talk of rose-tinted glasses indeed...this is my longest time away from home, im surely going to be lapping it all up anew when i return....
and....ahem...about that Mati's email again...
ta a bunch!

Chxta said...

Happy birthday in arrears...

I have a bone to pick with you on your seeming willingness to blame Shell (and the oil majors for all the problems in the Delta)...

Buzz L. said...

Happy Birthday Adaure...you can drive my Porsche Carrera next time you're around my way. Only it's not red ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey Adaure, very interesting profile and blog, I've really enjoyed every bit of your stories, and the stories about the happenings in Ibo land make me miss home , and the joke about Ben Bruce is totally hilarious. Making a decision to go to Nigeria and explore is really brave, maybe someday I'll get over my fear and do the same..but with all these kidnappings in the Niger delta,fear no go gree me and all these omo oniles dey fear me sef...all the best, and hope you update...

Darlo.com.

Icy said...

Rawk on babz. u're doing your thing.. Happy belated birthday. I'm sure you had a blast. Keep rawking babz!

low said...

How wierddddd i told my friend that Joke last nite and i ended it wit sayng the same thing.Its alot funnier when those Naija comedians say it.

Happy belated sweetie..Hope u had a swell time

Mona said...

Happy birthday in arrears, I hope you had a good one - well done on what you are doing in Nigeria.

Take care and lol @ your joke

Shola said...

happy birthday in arrears.
at three years away from thirty, i think you ve done pretty well for yourself, ride on gurl!

Jumoke Giwa said...

Hey, Adaure. Happy birthday and congrats on looking forward to 30. It's a great number and it gets better as you get older. Take it from someone who knows. My colleague at work can't understand why I am excited every time I am a year older. Oh, well! Let's just say I love the thrill of it.

Monef said...

Adaure Happy Birthday oh!

Sounds like tyou are really doing it diwn there. I am very intruiged to hear your views on the whole Niger Delta issue. How long will you keep us waiting?

Calabar Gal said...

Adaure - I am weeping and crying at the same time. STV has snatched you away from us. Should we now be expecting a monthly or quarterly posts? We are missing you sorely!!!

BBA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
adelove said...

I was led here from Chxta's blog. You have never followed up on the delta thing?

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