Sunday, March 12, 2006

CONFESSIONS OF A WEDDING WEBSITE STALKER

About to Become Wedding Crasher

There was a time when all my friends and I talked about was whose 10th birthday we went to over the weekend and what color of BMX or Chopper bike we got for ours. We talked about who got or didn't get an invitattion to the MODE, Sisterhood, Babes-on-the-Pavement and Platform Sisters party. Those were high school cliques. Right from the day we walked through the gates of our high school into Form 1( First Form / Jss1) we talked about our valedictory service and what we would wear. When all that passed we talked about turning 18, new boyfriends, 'to-deflower-or-not-to-deflower', turning 21 and graduating from College. We shared pictures about some of these milestones, and at the time, grandioise occasions. We sent emails back and forth, from Nigeria to London to America. Emails flying back and forth, updating the posse with pictures and gist. Now we have gotten to a different stage in our lives, a stage of twinkling eyes, admiration, fantasy and pressure all bottled up in a package. Much of it accelerated with this technology called internet. Can you believe that all 5 emails that I have sent to two of my best friends in Nigeria in the past weeks have all been about someone's engagement, wedding or wedding website. Each time I chat with my friends online we usually start by saying, 'Yo Check this website out.. www.thiswedsthat.com'. I even got a death threat from my friend in Nigeria after I sent her the wedding websites and pictures of some of the blokes we all used to scope in our junior days in ISL. She wrote,"Let me just warn you now now. In your life, dont send me any such thing, cos now that I've seen it, I'm going to be miserable for the whole day. Glad for them, yes, but sorry for myself. At least till God has finished packaging my own for me". I don't blame her for the rage, sometimes you just want some memories to remain intact and uncorrupted. Sometimes we're in denial of how fast time is flying, how the lives of people we know are changing and perhaps even fear that our's will soon start changing radically (or not). I guess the journey of life has led me to the next stop; bus-stop of weddings. That stage in life when wedding bells are ringing every where. When you have wedding nightmares because the talk of the moment is a wedding or two, aso-ebi and bridesmaids dresses. It's a time that hits you so suddenly and the fact that I am a single Nigerian lady turning 26 in two days(my birthday is Tuesday March 14, I tried to hold out but it's difficult for me not to rave about my birthday, even if i'll be celebrating on my own) with a mother nagging about how she wants a grandchild is also not helping matters.


The Webbies

When the 'Aso-ebi' (matching lace and gele) fashion-flair, a typically Yoruba thing, went nationwide to becoming the highly produced and orchestrated signature for Nigerian occasions I thought that was the height for us. The craze went from being a thing for just the iyas and the-'and-Co's, (mothers and married couples) to being the outfit of choice for the bevy of girlfriends, the different families and in-laws, and all the cliques and clubs the wedding couple and their parents belong to. But trust Nigerians to always take thing to a different level, stepping up the game at every opportunity and raising the bar even higher. Forget Aso-ebi, that's for the mothers and the stylists (aka Tailaurent) to figure out. The Nigerian yuppies of today are going high tech with their ceremony and making the first port of protocal on the world wide web with their 'we-are-too-darn-hot' wedding websites. Forget the Wedding Channel powered wedding registries-slash-guestbooks. These ones come fully equipped with flash and music, not just for the index page, but some for each page you click on. The pictures are not just 'snap-shots', they are 'photo-shoots'; make up, wardrobe, adobe-photoshot and the whole nine. You think TLC's A Wedding Story is filled with mushy mushy sob stories of love at first sight, wait to you read how these couples met, how the guy calcualtedly spit game and orchestrated plans to get the girl, how the girl's friends tricked her into flying cross country to meet the guy, and how he proposed to her on the Eiffel Tower in Paris or on the River Thames, or how he had to get on his knees or on the phone to ask the girl's father. If nobody is getting the hint, Nigerian television needs its own 'Wedding Story'. To John Makawa, MNET, Silverbird, Messrs. Ben and Guy Murray Bruce, ya'll better get on this tip because I am talking about some serious ratings here.

This weekend alone I have seen 4 websites, 2 of which are my favorite so far. Check out Adeola weds Hakeem page which comes with a beautiful love-birds only photo session and a Yoruba theme song by Tosin Martins for the index page. I have not closed the page yet because that song just makes my heart melt. I have to say, that I give Yoruba musicians and the language two thumbs-up and an I-salute when it comes to love songs and romantic ballads. From OmoPupa to Olufunmilola, Ololufemi, Oruka and Olojowo, these songs make me retreat my 'Igbo-nationalism' card (aka tribalism) and want a Yoruba boy to serenade me with these lyrics. (Hint, hint, the applicant pool is being expanded to be inclusive rather than exclusive, after all we are God's children and there's room for all. However the right to be selective is still reserved for incasities.) Another cool thing about this page is that it was all built from scratch by someone in Nigeria and the photographer is also based in Nigeria. Check out the credits page for information. This is just another testament to the fact that the wedding business in Nigeria is no joke. I was chatting with my friends about the many ways one can make a lucrative career out of being a professional wedding planner in Nigeria. I won't say to much because this is part of my 'Get-Rich-Quick' business scheme. Then there's Diwura and Dotun which leaves me totally speechless because tears are welling up. They are so cute and their story and baby pictures....SOMEBODY PASS ME SOME KLEENEX.


Always a Bridesmaid Never a Bride

Don't complain about being the glorified 'house-girl' of the day. It can pay off and result in your own wedding if the couple you are doing the bridesmaiding for are like some of the couples I have seen on these websites. There's a saying that the wedding day is for the bride. That's no longer the case. It is also for the bridesmaids and the groomsmen some of whom are equally eligible bachelors and spinsters. These days many Nigerian brides-to-be are sharing the spotlight and putting their single girlfriends right-front-and-center. After all aren't weddings the best place to meet 'the-one-who-completes-you' (as opposed to better half). Some of the pages have complete profiles, funny blurbs and flattering pictures of the bridal party. So when your girl honors you by asking you to buy a $200 dress for her bridal train, look on the bright side. Mr. Right could be a guest reading about you on the wedding page. Check out Ayo and Bade as they prepare for their May wedding. Then there's the celebrity couple worthy of a cover story. Nwando and Dalu actually did make it on to the cover of People Magazine. Yes they got jokes and they're tres cute. So is Obi and Ify who met at a conference for Nigerian professionals NIPRO. Finally we have something to justify these extra curricular trips to 'Reunions and Mixers et al'.

Not a Wedding Crasher, Just a Word-Of-Mouth Guest

There was a time when invitation-only weddings was a no-no. It was seen as snobbery. There are some who can pull that off without much trouble. For people with families as large as mine that could mean spending the first year sending bottles of wine and whisky to appease uninvited relatives who have sworn not to attend your newborn baby's naming ceremony. These days invitation-only is not just for crowd control but also to go easy on the pockets. Back in Nigeria there was a time when I hated weddings. They were so boring and only my parents bothered to attend. Actually I used to be very upset because I never was in the bridal party and when I finally made flower girl, I fainted. I only got to be a flower girl one more time and then I expired. From then on my younger sisters became the official rent-a-little-bride-and-flower-girls and I was the rent-a-chapperone. You know the one who gets a special dress from 'aunty', sulks the entire day, eventually gets to hang out with the party so that she's happy, but is not really in the party and gets pushed aside when it's time for 'bridal party stuff'. When I became tall enough to be a bridesmaid, the gawd-awful dresses just made it a thing of misery for me. The worst thing is that people never ask you directly, they ask your mother or father. At that point, you just had to do it. As I got older I couldn't wait till I was grown enough to go out on my own and attend weddings with my friends. I guess that was the Ovation-effect. I wanted to wear the gele, the nice tradition attires and the senior-girls get-up. Basically playing more dress up. It's a bit different here in America where that dress-up game can be a steep in the pock, especailly if you are, as I hear, in the Maryland area where there's a wedding practiacally every weekend.

Where I was going with all this long story escapes me but I will be attending a number of weddings this year and crashing one or two. There's one in NJ that I'm excited about. Don't worry I am not crashing this one, but just incase my invitation gets lost in the mail I got TWO back up plans... he he he. Then on Memorial Day weekend my girl Maureen will be doing her traditional wedding outside Charlotte and in December we'll be going to Jamaica for the real thing. That last part is contingent upon how well I can save. Then I'm crashing my friend's brother's wedding in Chicago, but that's allowed since I am my friend's guest. I have already gotten word-of-mouth/ Just-Show-Up invitations to some 2007 weddings fresh from the Valentine's Day proposals.


Anyways check out the links below for a few of the lovely Nigerian couples that are getting married or have gotten married recently. They're spreading hope for CENSUS 2020. Read their inspirational love stories and may be, just may be, something can jump start a jolt of romance in some of you Nigerian dudes reading this. May be some one getting ready to propose can try harder and put more effort into the proposal. As in a chick doesn't have to tell you a hundred times about her friends getting married before you get the hint. I know Onada disagrees but Sistas, there's nothing wrong with preparing ahead for that big day. As for me, I already know what colors I want (depending on what it is, I am flexible and can work the groom-to-be's colors into the scheme and make it work). I already know who's on my bridal train, where it will be and who will be officiating. As for the website, be ready for some hot-model-chick type pictures and some flash and flying effect. Those programs are not out yet so I can't give you any example. All other kinks can be worked out when God produces 'Ken' or shall I say 'Johnny'. I'm quite sure when the time comes there'll be some new addition to the wedding production circuit that we Nigerian's will be killing to death. Meanwhile If you have any links for cute couples with heart warming love tales or any cool wedding stories, tips or ideas please share. I'm just in the wedding mood for some reason, may be it's the hormones going hay-wire or the water in California. To our newly weds, grooms and brides-to-be. CONGRATULATIONS AND HAVE A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE!!!!YIPPIE!!

Rotola and Deji
Folu and Ayo
Toyosi and Wole
Omos and Akin

79 comments:

Singto said...

who sent you to us oh, adaure??? as in, i have not visited so many wedding websites in my life...in fact, i have NEVER visited any wedding website before you came into my life and turned 24...what the hell? i'm going to start praying for you to marry if for nothing else so that i can stop being attracted to other people's wedding websites. me wey no like wedding sef...gosh! that being said, that song on them Hakeem's website is fucking amazing! nobody can touch yoruba musicians in nigeria, i have to say. nice one for that; i have something good to listen to for a while.

Biodun said...

I am a big wedding lover too..resently anyways..thanks for giving me somethin 2 do now @ work...I love d whole website idea n yeah the jill scott song on adeola n hakeem's website..takes me 2 a good place..

Lolita said...

Ok why am I having trouble listening to the Yoruba theme song on Adeola and Hakeem's site?

teatylawla said...

1st time 4 me visiting wedding websites too..nice though!..now i got new ideas 4 when my time comes...thx Adaure

Anonymous said...

wow. at least i'm not the only one with the bug

Olawunmi said...

abeg you people are making it harder to be a single man in these days o!!! its bad enough that my boys are dropping like flies, running off to the altar as if there's some hidden prize waiting after the wedding, do i have to confront this stuff in cyberspace as well? i have never seen so many wedding websites in one place. adaure, i am officially fighting with you from this second!!!

don't even think of making peace unless you bring ALL of the following:

three white chickens (properly checked and found to be free of flu and mad-fowl disease)
four virgin sheep
two dozen kolanuts
one kilo of alligator pepper
three bottles of honey
three bottles of palm oil and
one PSP

you have been warned, the spirits of unrepentant bachelorhood are angry with you!!!!!


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Nneka's World said...

Na wa oh!
All these weddings, it makes a girl think some dangerous thoughts.

Wedding fever everywhere.
I think the best site was the hakeem's site. Very nice

folu said...

Should I say thanks for listing my site? Bayode just told me about your entry. Anyway, I love Diwura and Dotun's site the most, I think it's the flash and the wonderful pictures of florida!

Onada said...

wedding website fever ohh!!!! As long as the pictures are fine sha!

Adaure said...

YUP there's definitely a fever going around... as if picking the colors was not difficult , now we have to contend with building websites too... LOL... what's next.

I guess I have always had the bug but just prefer playing Voltron.

I am sure there are bunch of other 'wedding webbies' out there so ya'll need to share abeg...FOR MY OWN SAKE...lol... I need new stuff to browse abeg.

@Olawunmi..Lol.. they bera drop like Mosquitos sniffing 'Flit'... he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing..belie' that. As for your list why not add Cow and Elephant too.. Lol...tell those spirits to get with the program too.

This one Naija girl wey live for Amrika :) said...

Girl, you just hit it right on the head. My friends and I are still recovering from our monthly news alerts (more like...being pummled like Russel Crowe in Cinderella Man) about who is engaged, got married, preggers, got together...and we have sworn off of emails and strange fone numbers until at least we can even kukuma try to get some kind attention from any hot looking Naija bobos. This thing is an epidemic and nowhere to run to or hide! Haha!

Anonymous said...

Addy,
For the last two days I have been mesmerized by these "webbies". It is like Crack. I cry and I laugh and then I cry again. I am happy to see that Nigerians are doing the "Damn Thing". When my Poo-Bear finds me (please everyone bow your heads and pray for that miracle), my "webbie" is going to be like crazy. Gurrl! you will be the first (kinda sorta) one to snoop the scope.

Smooches,
Yoruba Baby

Monef said...

Wow, if it wasn't for your post I wouldn't have realised that Omos was getting married!! Amazing.

Nwabu said...

This article had me laughing. Great article and I look forward to the day when the front page of your blog will be redirected to www.adaureandsomeone.com

:)

ATLakos said...

adeola is my bestfriend and she and husband hakeem put a lot of preparation into this whole wedding. They are the best couple and sweetest couple i know. I doubt she knows her site is so well admired by many. She will be very grateful for all yall compliments.

ATLakos said...

try this one, its old but nice
www.emeliandmuyi.com
Emelia is Ghanaian and Muyi is Nigerian. Wedding was in Ghana.Kudos to that excellent photographer. It takes a minute for all photos to load so be patient. post and preweddings.post weddings are my favorite.

the yoruba song on adeola and hakeem's site - u will hear when you click logistics.

shakara said...

my best is roti and deji cos of their story and the way they told it.They seem like a fun couple.naija younstas no easy o!

yetty said...

Buhahahahahhahaha bahahah oh my gwad Adaure you will not kill me.. damn. lol! I' have missed reading ur blog. Chic you had me rolling.. If fact lemme compose myself I will com back to type clearly lol!

WEDDINGS????? I've avoided them like a plague. Phobia mehn!.. but we shall overcome jare lol!

Anonymous said...

Thank God o, i been think say na only me. My friend and i use these wedding websites to cheer ourselves up, and i have run out of them now, but adaure,lemme give u a belated bday present:

check these out

www.mojiandgbolahan.com (gbolohan is rotola's brother)

www.emekaputsngozifirst.com

www.seunandgrace.com

www.ojiandezinne.com

my log is so-amazeen.blogspot.com, but i havent blogged in so long, and i forgot my password, so i need to get on it again.

enjoy!!!

i said...

i thought i was the only one...this week i've heard of 2 old friends from sec. school getting married. one is pregnant. the other is engaged.
what's the hurry? i'm feeling the pressure. no be small.

tayo said...

Adaure,

Keep up the good work on your blogg.

It is off the chain!!

Anonymous said...

Finally.... i found fellow naija wedding site fanatics. For sometime now i thought i was the only one crazy about these sites. For one it gives me something to keep myself entertained when there's not much to do at work... especially on Friday's. Until i came across this blogg. Kudos to you adaure.

Oya na, i don finish browsing all the ones wey una put for here oooo. Abeg enter more, and i will keep y'all posted when i jam new ones.

Chaoooo.

Anonymous said...

as one of those featured in the weeding sites u posted, i have to admit i have the fever too ooo.
i must be honest (this is really true) that before we did ours, i did not even know there so many other naija wedding wesbites.
until a friend forwarded me a hoard of them.
there is definitely a bug.
my favoruite amongst the ones ive seen is the deola and hakeem one.i cant wait to see the wedding pictures.
my wedding is still a long way away, so im looking at others and stealing ideas.
thanks once again for not 'hating' as other have done in the past.

Anonymous said...

www.joywedsitoro.com

Feverwahala said...

All these websites are cool but I no go lie..e make perosn think deep. When Mr own go come...mama dey bug me..where man dey..all the ones..I dey meet get K leg..God help us all

Ms. Pepeiye said...

No be only you feverwahala. Infact d thing bother me so much, i do start my own blog

http://pepeiyesworld.blogspot.com/

Hope you all will explore with me...later

Anonymous said...

I have done my share of "stalking" these websites...not only dey naija weddings dey get more and more upscale...bridal showers, or should i say 'luncheons' are getting serious as well..nawa o...
pls check out rotola's (from www.rotolaanddeji.com) bridal showers pics(in "photo albums")...i'm very excited to see pics of the actual wedding (since i can't crash)....

i guess i'm officially a wedding website freak!

Anonymous said...

ayoandseun.com

Anonymous said...

check out www.bunmiandsegun.com
www.dianddee.com


I am officially a stalkerrazzi

Anonymous said...

Hey people! Just thought you might want to check this site out too...

http://www.ewedding.com/v20/main.php?a=2525251234

Anonymous said...

Love what you are doing. Your dreams may just come true. Commit it into God's hands.

Ijeoma said...

Adaure...oh my goodness, I have just spent four(4), yes four(4) good hours of my house-cleaning time perusing my country-peoples' wedding webbies! I never knew about these Naija wedding websites existed before but now I'm hooked (and I haven't even viewed the ones others contributed in the comments section oh...) Now I know what ot must feel like to be addicted to crystal meth, (your everyday suburbanite, good job, good home, etc but with a hidden secret addiction) but I bet this is just so much better...

Good job on the blog! Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Yes there's stil hope also view this recent wedding http://www.marilynandabimbola.weddingwindow.com/

Anonymous said...

http:\\chikeandlaniece.com

Anonymous said...

I decided to check out some few wedding websites myself to fill my eyes-marilynandabimbola-na wa o niger brides are really going all out o, this bride actually wore RED.

Anonymous said...

check out http://www.freewebs.com/kemiwole

imarriedafratboy said...

wow...all these websites....and the thing is its making me feel old now cos everyone around me is just getting hitched!! I mean its like a wedding infection...don't get too close to a bride/groom or you might catch it!! LOL!! Anyway, I have one for you....I like the simplicity of it...www.tolaandrocky.com....enjoy!

Anonymous said...

wow...all these websites makes a girl starts thinking..well they all give us hope that someday we shall find our significant others...hmmm.....till then....nice blog...my friends and I have been on it for hours and I sent it to my sisters...we all love it.

Amy said...

I too am obsessed with weddings especially Nigerian weddings! I absolutely love your blog and from reading it I feel like we are a lot alike. I am sure that when your time comes your wedding website will be award winning :) Anyway here are some more sites for you to peruse one is of my older sister and the rest are her and her hubbys friends (they all got married the same year! wedding bells are truly in the air!!!)

www.chimawedsomonele.com
www.emekaputsngozifirst.com
www.victorandelizabeth.com
www.dorretteandwesley.com/

Anonymous said...

im lovin your blog..with these it shows u will become the CNN INTERNATIONAL REPORTER 4 WEDDING AND STYLES ONE DAY..lol..NICE BLOG

Titi said...

I am loving it..There i thought i was the only one going nutts

Anonymous said...

another wedding website:

http://www.bisiandofon.com/

Anonymous said...

With all these lovely weddings, see our planners
www.zapphaire.com
www.stencilevents.com
www.myomegaevents.com
http://www.bisidada.com/justweddings/home2.html
These ladies are HOT!!!!!!!!!!!! And check out their gallerys. Good job audora

Ronnie said...

Saw some of their works on the websites, fabulous. Thanks for us site adaure

Anonymous said...

its nice to see the wedding website thingie catching on so nicely....lovely sites people!

ASHLEE said...

great sites...

Anonymous said...

Thanks Adaure... simply wonderful!
check out my blog: sefunmi.blogspot.com

Amebo from Abroad said...

some of the websites are a bit boring... same daagon templates.. but still nice tho!!!! plzzz we need ephizzy websites jare!!!

Anonymous said...

I found another wedding website jummyandtunde. Their wedding cake was slammin!!!!

Anonymous said...

check out this wedding website jummyandtunde.com. I cant get over the song playing in the background. very nice

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone,

I have another website for you all to view:

http://www.tomiandkunle.info/index.html

And on top of that the wedding was held at a reception Hall in Naija called De Event Place. It's really nice: http://www.planet1ng.com/

One more thing, I plan on getting married in Naija June 08 and I wanted to know if anyone has seen a website that used Regency Hall for their wedding reception or engagement in Naija?

Either way, I am still going to Naija to see it this summer, just wanted to start early.

NTA

tomiwa said...

hey y'all shd go check out bisi and fon's site. the wedding pics r ready. i think its the best wedding outta all the ones liste here. i mean talk abt a perfect couple wedding, etc.
bisiandofon.com

nigerianweddingplanners said...

Visit my new blog for weddings
nigerianweddingplanners.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

So I found this website o. I would have to say its the best one I've seen so far. Check it out www.kennyandbusola.com

Anonymous said...

Just reading all your blogs, another good website is austenandkay.com

Anonymous said...

austenkay.com

Anonymous said...

hey people,
found another site. its so different and lovely. the song is d best!
http//ashleegeorge.com

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for my day. I love this site. They are very cuteee!

http://www.chiomaandakolisa.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Adaure,

great job! kudos. These wedding wedsites are so addictive. I'm trying to tear myself away from looking at them.

This is Yomi Shobowale's sister by the way - Yinka. You came to my wedding in '05- NYC. Shortly before the wedding website craze started!

Anonymous said...

http://ashleegeorge.com
Theyre so cute.
This site is beautiful, really different from the same ol' same ol' we've been seein so far.
Na wa o, all the correct men don dey go o!
Lol!

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I think this is another cool site what checking out.www.idaraandharold.com.
happy viewing.

Anonymous said...

ur my birthday mate adure...
and ur so pretty
n.

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone,

I really enjoy researching Naija vendors and wedding sites of couples. Currrently, I am planning my wedding for next year and I just wanted to provide all my Naija ladies with some important vendor websites if they plan on getting married in Naija any time soon.

Please visit my blog: http://naijablue7.wordpress.com/about/. And leave comments if you like, but surely return because there is plenty to look forward too.

Thanks

Anonymous said...

Also check out this wedding in naija 2007. http://www.maureneandadeola.com

Anonymous said...

Another wedding website

www.dayoandtemi.com

Anonymous said...

www.dayoandtemi.com

Anonymous said...

http://naijablue7.wordpress.com/2007/09/14/7/

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or any kind of event. It is a secure and gated out-doors venue which is easily
ACCESSIBLE to major roads. It has ADEQUATE PARKING SPACE and is located in a

PEACEFUL area, so that there is absolute privacy for your event.

If you are hosting any event in Lagos,

href=http://www.lagosriviera.com>RIVIERA GARDEN
is the venue to use for your event!

HOW TO BOOK
Viewing appointments can be scheduled Monday thru Saturday from 9.30am to 7pm. Call during the week to make Sunday appointments.

Website
http://www.lagosriviera.com


Phone
1-407-7543
0802-912-7191

E-mail
rivieragarden@gmail.com

Address
1451 Raji Rasaki Rd
Amuwo Odofin
Lagos,
Nigeria

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