Thursday, March 30, 2006

NNENNA BU ENYI NWANYI YE YE (nnenna is a girlfriend)

What Are Your Intentions for this Man, Johny?

Na Wa For Waya!!!!

My peoples, America's Next Top Model is really getting interesting, as in did anybody Tivo this show. Before I commence with my commentary, I say jam your hands together in a big round of applause for Nnenna, the gorimapa-african-queen-chemist- top-model. Na You Biko!!!! Abeg make una find me 'Triple Crown' and 'Alligator razor' for dia, I am going to shave my head bald now.

First of all let me give a warning to all you eager readers. I appreciate the fact that you read these wrap ups, but just keep in mind that I am on the West Coast and don't get to see the show till midnight eastern time. How about I got home and someone had already sent me an email giving away the show. Abeg take time oh, that was some 'eregele o' (rough play).

So in the first quarter of the show, Nnenna is talking with her boyfriend oh. Hmh, I was hoping to hear her speaking some Igbo with one nna-bros and for her to say 'Chukwuemeka is my boyfriend'. How about we got introduced to 'John', a very very white boy. Not that there is anything wrong with her dating a white man. Mba, not at all, that is not my gripe. My gripe is that the girl dey bold o. She no fear bring am comot for sun. I mean you usually don't do that until the wedding is nigh, especially because that will leave him out for the lynch mob of sharks that are now sending palm wine and emissaries to Ofe-Uzo. On top of that she was saying 'I love you' any how. Anyways na oyinbo, you tell them that and they tell you 'I love you too... I love you more'. If that was an Aba or Onitsha boy he would have said 'C'mon shurrup dia, ya mouth like yen yen yen...lovukwa your head."

My initial shock and beef with her quickly faded when the guy tried to bring their personal story to the tv show. I mean like a good nigerian woman would do, she calmly told him she would see him at home, but the guy became heady and had to ask 'What are you intentions for this man?' Not that he was stern, he was all whipped. Come see as my sister take phone bang on top John head. I mean I was just jumping and shouting 'Daz ma gialu and she don tek no nonsense.' Serves him right, as if it is Nnenna that will buy ring and put on his finger to ask him to marry her. See mouth like 'what are your intentions?' Abeg bring telephone pole too let me help bang his head.
Then he tried to get all pissy about her kissing the male model. Like 'dude' freaking chill the hell out, she is working to get paid and you are crying over one tiny no-tongue kiss. If the guy was serious and not just playing along for the drama, I would hope he has gotten himslef together. Meanwhile I wish them luck oh, It is not easy at all.
But come oh, this Nnenna that we have been saying is quiet, see as the girl just flip script. She must have been drinking 'Ovaltine' cos she 'over do' . They say empty barrels make the loudest noise, so you can imagine what that girl has in store for us in the coming shows.
I don't know who picks the picture though, but I was hoping for the one where the cape was blowing in the wind. They picked a very boring picture and pose with not much variation in what they present.

That being said, Nnenna RAWKED THIS WEEK. She is the competition and I have no doubt she will win. I would love to raid her new closet, even though it is only Sears. Shooo, that would save me a lot of money on sending my nice clothes home to my sisters. Her editorials were really good and she really showed everybody up and stepped the game up. Jade seems like she is getting pissed about that now. Jade's all talk and no game but Nnenna doesn't need to toot her own horn. So Nne, Omalicha fine bebe, if you happen to read this, Biko hook a sister up with a ticket to the finale party. I am going to dig up my giant Nigerian flag so I can wave it for the paparazzi.

Anyways these are the pictures. For those of you who saw the show, please share your reaction. I tried to take notes, but I was too excited with laughter to write.

Meanwhile my April-Turtle-Mobile-News-Van broke down on Monday. Luckily for me it was not while I was driving. The poor thing refused to start in the morning. So I rented a red kia from enterprise. How about the funniest and strangest thing happened. I can home today after I branched at someones house. My coworker was having a 'party lights' party. Basically they were trying to sell candles to me. My people help me laugh small. What kind of candle is it that I am buying that should cost $20. Candle kwa? Is it blessed by the Pope from Rome or from the Queen for that matter. Anyways as I was branching back out to go home, I got into the car. The car was still red and definitely the same one that I arrived in. BUt when I got to my house and cam out of the car, the car was not red but BLACK. OMG is literally what came out of my mouth. I thought I had taken another persons vehicle, hence commited grand theft auto. I paniced for a minute and looked at my key. Could Iit be possible that I had a master key that could open a different car. I shined my eyes and looked at the car well well. The thing was black o. I already had my phone in my hand ready to call 9-1-1. I walked around the car to check the license plate and the make and model of the car. I was like, my eyes is doing some magic. Then I looked in the glove compartment for my contract and it was in there. I laughed and heaved a huge sigh of relief. That was a rather close call. I haven't been in California long enough and I am already having these kind sof moments. I wonder what will happen in the summer when the sun comes out and starts frying my brain.

18 comments:

Nneka's World said...

Hahaha, adaure you wont kill me oh!
Oh well dont really watch it here, so just rely on your commentary to fill me up on what is goin on.
So ol' girl get whitey,good for am oh! Lol

Anonymous said...

Nnenna is cool and all but I am bothered by her being in the last 5 last week and bottom 3 yesterday

Biodun said...

I was cracking up last nite myself...I was shocked by d whole kissing o...lol..yeah I am also bothered about her not takin exceptional pics oh...n yeah I guess she is beginning 2 come out of her shell..she is still a strong force amongst the pack sha...n I I cant wait 4 next week...like who fell...I hate when shows dramatise everythin...we will see sha

ToyinE said...

ok wait...is it just me but did Ms Jay say Nnenna was boring? i missed the first half of the show and i thought i caught that!!!

Anonymous said...

yes oh..Ms. Jay said that he gets bored just looking at her...

SSWiwa said...

ms. jay is a very big fool! the way that "beb" really rocked the HELL out of that show yesterday was too much for me, abeg! i could barely contain myself! ah, addy, i been miss you WELL yesterday because i know say if na you, me and ndi de watch am together, the thing for sweet gan! meanwhile, na so car de change color from red to black for california??

Anonymous said...

I just got word about your blog!I read the first line and you rock! I feel like I could totally hang out with you. You are so funny and real at the same time! I'll definitely be back to laugh some more!

Good Luck!

Amazed!

Freesias said...

I did not watch it but thank you for the break-down. What I want to know is how did the car go from red to black? I'm still trying to figure that one out eh.

Adaure said...

About the Car turning black, I think the paint is one of those ones that change depending on the light. It lost every resemblance of red when I saw it. I am not lying.

@ NNEKA....Don't worry, now that the 'HEAT HIS HON' on the show, I'll give you steady and timely wrap ups. HOmefully Nne will continue entertaining us, I can wait for her to bust out some Igbo and Naija yaps and abuses if Jade should cross her, and I see it coming.

@Anon1.. Yeah last week was not a hot moment for her. They made her look crazy. They were just lazy with the concept and styling. That fairy tale is so rich and comes in different flavors including an african flare. They could have done a better job.

@Biodun.. I know oh that clip from the next episode was strange. It looks like it was Tyra who fell of someone who was talking to them because the person had their attention already. It must be a spoof to give them an example of good acting. YOu know how they can be, get all dramatic and get you excited over nothing. It's TV.

@ Toyine ... Yes oh Ms Jay said boring. I don't think she-he likes Nnenna, he's not said really good things about her

@SSWIWA...Yes oh, It would have been fun if we were all watching it together. Like our Sex in the City Days, getting all dramatic and stuff. As Tony Tetuila talk 'E go better'

@Anon 3... Glad you enjoy my blog and it makes you laugh. That's the intent. Positive chi all the way ...lol. I've heard from some that I can be cool to hang out with, but I am sure there are some who think otherwise, I guess I have my days. ANyways thanks for checking me out. Holla when you return.

@Freesias...You are welcome, I am still wondering the same but the explanation above may be the answer. Lol.

In addendum, I was chatting with a friend and I brought up concerns about Nnenna's safety. Seeing as my sister just give Johne Isho-without-recovery, aka Cracked-Face on national tv. YOu know how some people can be crazy sometimes and say they were insane and over come by passion. Should Nnenna not hire some Bakassi, Black Axe or Pirates to mount sentry in front of her door-mat. Hmh, just for precautionary measures assuming they break up. Gbo, what do you think?

Biodun said...

lol..."them folks" do go crazy n have stalker potentials jo..she should take precautions abeg

teatylawla said...

oh goodness adaure,babes u crack me up all the time..and the car turning black?hmmm..ok o!

Chikito said...

Hmmmm, I have still not forgiven Tyra for shaving that girl's head like that oh! But it's ok- never has an ogo looked so beautiful... And as for John- e be like say he no get the kind cable wey get fit handle her voltage oh! She needs a chocolate superhero african warrior mandigo, jo... Matter of fact, we all do, no? Anyways- nice blog!

Lolita said...

But how are you all so sure Johny is a white dude? Or could he just be a well educated Ibo man? Do not make any assumptions yet! I could have sworn I picked up on a slight accent.

Adaure said...

@Lolita... I take it you missed the first few minutes of the show. Either that or the guy I saw must have been an Albino Igbo guy..lol

Lolita said...

Oooppps! Pardon me! Yes you are correct I did miss the first few minutes of the show. All i know is i heard the convo between Nnena and her well spoken boyfriend. I caught the rerun today and saw the dude sha.

Pilgrimage to Self said...

What a great way to start the morning. Your entry still has me laughing.
However, I am almost afraid to read your blog because they haven't started showing season six of ANTM, we are still on season five here in the UK so I've got a way to go.

I've just asked my hubby to see if he can download it off the internet though. hehehehehehe :-)

odaiche said...

Well, well, well...i am tivoing the hell outa this show like white on rice. Nnenna has me walking taller these days. I was just praying to myself that dis girl should not just embarass us..coz i have to go to work the next day and deal with people's comments...and i got a nice surprise. Well done oh my sista...i was hoping to be the first undiscovered naija america's next top model, but u go ahead girl and do your thing...cuz u are really doing it well

koketso said...

Girl your blog is sooo fun. I'm dying here. I've read about 5 entries non-stop.. keep it up.. Now I have to get to work.