MY POPS IS TOO DARNED FUNNY... HE NEEDS TO BE A COMEDIAN
Before I continue, I have to ask God to forgive me and all of you for laughing at this because someone is the butt of it all but this was just too funny not to share. So I had to fire my driver two weeks ago for taking my niceness for granted and not showing up for work on several occassions. Apparently he misunderstood my sarcasm to mean it was really up to him to show up for work or not, if he liked. Anyways this week I got another driver and his first day was yesterday. It is so scary sitting in the back seat and having a total starnger drive you. But I'll probably get over that by next week considering the fact that driving in Lagos is an ordeal and secondly, I still don't have my driver's license. I know, I know, I am a bad example to society and should be thrown in some police station. Anyways, I noticed something about my driver that had me just a bit concerned and I sent the following text message to my friend Ayisola, my sister Onyenachi and My dad. I have to warn you that what you are about to read is quite PROGRESSIVELY rib cracking so get ready...
Adaure( WANNABE FUNNY): Got a new driver but the dude drives wierd. He keeps looking off to the left, rapidly, like he's got Teret Syndrome. May be he is cross-eyed and doesn't know it...may be he needs glasses.
Ayisola (FUNNY): Just pray he won't drive you into the bush
Onyenachi(FUNNIER):Ask him for the picture of the love of his life and paste it on the windscreen. But pray he sees the car infront of him as well.
DAD (FUNNIEST): Nne my phone discharged. Bear with your driver, God will straighten his neck and keep you protected. If it will make you feel better, you can also tie his neck to the door so that he does not turn it. God saves... Trust in Him.
I swear I don't know where they get this from but I can't take this any more... too freaking funny. Dad got me at 'God will straighten his neck'. WHAT!?! :D
Anyways to the issue of the driver. Not trying to be mean or funny but it has me all nervous. Am I just being paranoid or do I have a reason to be concerned. The guy says he's been driving for 25 years. I have the urge to ask him why he keeps doing that but I think 'that' will be mean. HELP!! My car is like a sanctuary from the madness that goes on on the streets of Lagos. I don't need it to creep in with me wondering whether my driver has 'issues'that need a medical doctor's intervention. Or am I the one who's going crazy? Ha... you never can tell, everyone in Lagos looks mad these days even the ones dressed in the finest designer gear and driving the finest cars. As Andy said in Living in Bondage (or was it one of those early Nollywood flicks) 'Lekwe fa... Fancha...Fancha... Ndiala... Ndiala'... (Look at them, all of them, all mad people)LOL