(disclaimer: ok this picture makes this whole entry seem freaky than funny. lol. What's next a voodoo doll and a shrine with JL's pix. Abeg o, it is not that serious. I just needed visual illustration)
It's sad but true. I know you guys have been looking forward to my union with John Legend at the This Day Music Festival. Yes I have been looking forward to it. But I got cold feet and now I am the 'Runaway Fan.'
No it has nothing to do with Kulutempa's revelation that JL has no 'real intentions' to come out of singledom. There are a whole lot of things that just make me say 'it dazn't werk fer me' as Nana on Idols West Africa would say. Here's the latest on the EVENT
Why am I having cold feet at the last minute or as my friend puts it, 'my spirit just doesn't want me to go.' Lol @ K'I'A :). Well let me breaki it down.
TIGHT HAND: If you were down here, you would think that some religious icons whose names start with 'J' and 'M' were coming. (Ah please don't complete it o, otherwise you can cause some people to riot and mess the whole concert up and give CNN a big story...please o). My be I am not well connected but there are no free tickets or complimentary tickets floating around. Unbelievable!!! This Day really 'FOOL PROOFED' not just full proofed the ticketing process. Lol. I actually had to go to the bank this morning to withdraw money just incase. I am holding out till 2pm to see whether anbything will surface. After that I guess it is 'O.Y.O' meeeenn. As in Addy you're On Your Own!!! Now you must wonder why the hell I just can't stop being a cheap freeloader, bone up and go and buy the 25k ticket. Or just buy the regular 10k traffic. It's not Like I caaaaaannn't buy it....right? Ok let's deal with that issue.
COST AND PRINCIPLES: This is usually an issue with these exorbitantly priced events in developing countries like Nigeria. Despite how much I have psyched myself that I will see John Legend in concert come rain or shine, my conscience cannot justify spending $200 (really $192 but when you add gas, traffic wait time and settling 'the boys' it adds up) on a concert when there are people in Darfur and Chad begging for 50cents to eat. Just last week my new show HOTLENS ran on STV (catch it at 9.30am mondays, this monday's is on illegal animal trade, don't miss it) and the subject was Nigerians Living on The Breadline. Less than a dollar a day, which is like less than N150. Yes indeed you can't help everybody but c'mon. Knowing this I don't think I would allow myself enjoy the concert. I would be putting up a big act and will it be worth it? I mean I know, it's John Legend and to top it up, UB40 with their 'RED, RED WINE' song. Ahhhh.....noooo.... I can't believe I am actually thinking too hard about this one. Again 2pm is my deadline, we'll see then if the demon on my left should is more convincing and lays out a compelling arguement than the angel on my right shoulder. Talk about, 'You can call me Al' as in Ally McBeal...ha ha ha rotf-lmao. Oh boy!! I am too funny I crack my self up sometimes.
SECURITY AND TRAFFIC: This is the real deterrent. Lately there's been a rise in armed robbery in Lagos especially along the Lekki Expressway. I have been very lucky considering the fact that I ply that road at ungodly hours due to neccessity (yeah right, half the time I'm driving back from a joint). It's been bad especially during traffic. That aside, even the traffic situation alone is scarry. If I used to ride Okada, I would not have an excuse but onme might end up sitting in traffic for up to two hours or walk a distance to get to the event center. I mean this may not happen, but from the reality on the groud based on what that road is usually like and the fact that it is one way in one way out, there's every likelihood that there will be some horror stories afterwards. I am not sure I am up to it.
So I don't know guys, I don't know. This is perplexing. I'm just 'Ordinary' people!! And I don't know which way... to go' or not to go. Is my meeting and seeing John Legend in concert before he fades away into irrelevance meant to be. Then there's the peer pressure. Some of my friends have gotten their ticket and are warning me to 'Stop all this fooling around' and get my ticket 'or I'll be the talk of the town' when City People comes up with the headliner 'Silverbrid News girl can't buy ticket, goes around begging.' LOL. Others are like they are not going, but I'm like they will soon be over come by the FOMO factor (fear of missing out) and make their way to the concert. I mean this is not trying to find a solution to World Peace ya'll but this is challenging. I mean I'm no longer 'Walking on Cloud 9' with my baby daddy John Legend instead I'm crashing from it. I guess this means no Jessica Adaeze Legend or Jason Chukwuemeka Legends coming anytime soon. Oh well, I guess I can settle with an EVENING WITH D'BANJ on July 28th.
Yes, the 'Kokomaster' is a far cry from John Legend. I mean Imagine D'banj trying to chat you up and ask you on a date. A whole fine babe like you. He spots you, walks up with his sunglasses (it is 10pm and you are indoors with only disco lights). With a sinister looking Don Jazzy walking behind. He 'yahoozees' towards you and says 'I'm Osky(mumbo jumbo) D'banj but my Jamaican friends call me D'banj'. Then he goes on, 'I don't know how to say this....... KOKOLETTE...1..2.. in my room me and you!!!" WHAT!!!! I don't need to tell you how that will come out of John Legend, who'll probably sign off with 'Woman...I want your babies.' Anyways I won't mind being a 'Kokolette' since I get free tickets.
By the way to mark NAIJA BLOG MONTH and celebrate alonmg with all my fellow JULY blog babies. Ya'll know yourselves. I'm giving away TWO TICKETS to AN EVENING WITH D'BANJ set for JULY 28TH. :). I'll randomly select a winner from commenters who indicate intrest. It's an opportunity to save your N5000... lol... a whole N5000. I'm sorry it's no This Day concert but do you know where P.DIDDY and co are carrying your N25k to. At least you know that your money is going towards 'local interests' INCLUDING yours truly. Lol . Gotta get on the road and clear my head and buy my duracell batteries just incase John Legend forgot his toothbrush and had to dash to SHOPRITE.
[ RHYTHM 93.7's WILD CHILD OR J-A-J BREAKS IN WITH AN ANNOUNCEMENT]
Is Addy going to damn the implications and just buy a ticket... Will John Legend get to meet his biggest fan in the whole universe... Will he serenade her with his tintilating voice and piano skills... Will Nduka at This Day's friends friends read this and call him up to give Addy the hook her Up... Will THISDAY put out a BOLO alert on Addy... Will Addy have to kidnap John Legend and stuff him in her closet especially after paying N25k... or will Area Boys now known as 'Western Nigeria Militant' aka 'Eko Oni Baje Boys' kidnap John Legend forcing Addy to come to his rescue. These are tough questions and we're all waiting to see how it unfolds. You don't want to miss the unfolding drama and it's all happening here so stay tuned. (Oh it's saturday guys... loosen up...LOL)
MORE 'EYES CANDIES' BELOW
No Elmo's not 'our' kid
Oooh.... I like a man in a red car...stylish
A fan probably shouting from upstairs.. I love you Johnny (no it wasn't me)