Sunday, November 20, 2005


Politics and pageant related obligations aside, I and Jenny, Ms Sierra Leone decided to go to H2O. Actually I just followed her there since I was riding with her and being a party pooper would have been a tad bit impolite. First of all, we were both having phone issues because silly me left my charger in NC while Jenny's phone decided to shut off on us. We find her friends and go into H2O. I was really tired, sleepy and cranky and really did not want to be there, plus it was cold, so I decided i'ld just wear my coat. Yes a bit weird, wearing a coat in a club, but it was a really nice coat...It was pink with a green broach. Yah, you can imagine I had it coming. I was standing next to one of Jenny's friends, a guy all GQ'ed out in some Armani-KC-silk tie-pink shirt type of thing. Dude was also wallflowering like I was, but I don't remember seeing him being harassed by chicks talking about, 'why you don't wanna dance?'. But that was not the same for me. At one point I wanted to slap one dude that had the audacity and alacrity to touch the top button on my coat with his dirty hands, talking about 'show the goods.' I am like 'Your father.' But I boned up because truly I should not have been there in the first place, so I took the shots as they came. We made our way to the VIP section after the reggae spot became a bit too smoky and randy. Still wallflowering and even crankier, I managed to find one spot by the bar to just observe and find my own zone. Really, If one had seen me you'ld have thought that i'd been smoking weed all night. Gosh, I was so tired, my speech was slurring as my vision blurred, and Jenny was no were to be found so I had to get comfortable by the bar. How about I am there minding my own business once again and this lady tries to start a little petty girl-fight-talk with me. I don't know why people, particularly women, feel empowered when you ask them not to do something they are rightfully not supposed to be doing. So this j-lo wanna be chick was standing next to me attempting to dance. She was just bumping into me the whole time. On an ordinary day I would not have minded at all, I'ld have just disregarded her as another drunkie, but I was really irritated and cranky already that I needed something to off load all that on. Anyways this chic is bumping into me right, and I turn to her nicely and I am like, 'hey are you ok, cos you keep bumping into me and all?" and she said she's ok, and I'm like ' Ok, then can you please stop bumping into me?' then she was like 'why you gotta be like that' in a really nasty way and in the most unconfrontational way to make her look stupid I was like 'I am asking you politely not to bump into me, that's not too much to ask is it?" Thinking she listened to my, why did she bump into me a couple more times. And to add insult to injury, while she was trying to flip or run her fingers through her hair, she pulls at one of my braids. By now I am really pissed and I turn to her and I am like, ' For heaven's sake can you please stop doing that, I mean there's so much space in this club, why do you feel the need to bump into me?" We exchanged a few smart words and I turn away. Na so the girl begin do like say she get Turret syndrome. One of her guy friends begins to talk her out of something, meanwhile me I am just chilling calmly like as if I owned the damn bar and just laughing away, meanwhile in my head I am thinking and looking the other girls I came with; as per if this girl decides to jump me or pour her drink on my pink coat, will any of these girls be able to fight back, because me I can say that I will be seriously beaten if she makes such attempt. I looked at Jenny to my left, the girl might be small, but she packs fire. Plus she and her friend Alice are both 'salo' like my girl Des, and trust dem girls to have a little som'ing in their 'baggash'. But as they say empty barrels make the loudeest noise, the lady did not do anything. The night went on and we eventually left the club at around 4.30. I got back to the hotel room around 5 am and had a long soak in the tub. Had to improvise by using hotel hair shampoo for bubble bath.
Meanwhile I saw one of the finest straight up -non-half-caste yoruba guys. If seen a number of them who are not hella much to look at, they may begin to look different and attractive when they grow on you or if you look elsewhere (halogen lamp eyes that can penetrate the seams of ones pocket and the leather your wallet is made off; an attribute that is genetically predisposed to igbo girls according to some) But then again, I was fuzzied up, so maybe I was seeing double that night, plus the dude was wearing sunglasses at night. Makes one wonder what he's trying to hide. (Disclaimer: Ya'll know I gots love for my yoruba peeps, just like to tease them every now and then with off-color's high time...with all the omo-nna jokes I get)
To cut the long story short, my coat is going to the cleaners and my hair will be washed tomorrow because of all that smoke smell. I really should take a stand on these sorts of places, because I am no longer enjoying them as I mentioned. So unless I am in Naija, there is an exceptional reason, or I am out of town and being dragged by my braids and bra straps, I doubt I'll be gracing certain kinds of night spots with my presence because I'll be so out of place and just complaining about every darn thing.
By the way, I paid dearly for the pounded yam and egusi soup (yes oh I surprised myself by eating fufu in public, that soup smelled too darn good it was hard to resist) and baked potato, sauteed carrots and gravy I ate at the Nigerian event on Saturday. Can't be mixing white-man's food and african food like that, it can cause some very unpleasant things to happen in your digestive system. To make matters worse, my flight was cancelled so I had to wait at the Atlanta airport and didn't get home till around 5-ish. This is a journey I started at 8 am, as in if i drove I would have made it to church and gotten my sunday nap.


Anonymous said...

"Had to improvise by using hotel hair shampoo for bubble bath"

You are a true gangstar. I wont hate on you because I've used dishwasing soap to wash my car before.

But darn...

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that the female could have beaten you up in a real catfight? Why, was she that much bigger than you or what.

If you are a black female, I suppose that you can beat up almost any white bitch any time.

I have read that in 9 out of 10 fights a black female beat the shit out of a white girl ig they fights for real.