Friday, February 17, 2006

CAMP HORROR: THE ESCAPE OF THE FUGITIVE CORPERS


Mary And Angela's NYSC Story


(Was going through my old blog last night and saw this post. I got it from my friends last year. They should be rounding up their service. This is the tale they told, I was falling on the floor and dying of laughter when I first read it, so please make sure there are no sharp objects near by. Note, Angela just returned from yankee, hence the hilarity. Thank God He found me a job in Cali, this is what I would have been preparing to go through, although I have also heard some good happy stories. Guess you have to pray you get a good placement.)



My Dear,
How far? MEN!!! i cannot even begin to tell you my story... i don suffer small for this my life weh i come.. i went into NYSC camp on thursday morning, and by night time i had already started crying.. !!! i'm NOT joking oh.. because we were over two thousand students at the lagos camp, i didnt get registered that day, and therefore didnt get allocated a bed space so hundreds of us had to sleep OUTSIDE on the ROAD... im not even playing.. luckily, 'Angela' and i bought a mat to sleep on, which was equally as bad because the 'mat' was made of wood!! so can u please imagine how uncomfortable that was for starters.. THEN, they were playing king sunny ade really loud which made it quite difficult to sleep... THEN, i finally fall asleep, and the KILLER mosquitoes set in .. they bit nonsense out of us.. we were wrapped up from head to foot in our sheets, but they still found their way through.. at that point i just kept thinking about how life can be soo unfair to you sometimes.. i guess at that point, 'Angela' couldnt take it and started weeping seriously.. this was about one or two in the morning..
at about three thirty, ppl had started getting up to take a bath outside, and by the time we managed to borrow buckets, fetch water from the well-like hole tank where there was water, they had brightened the lights, and so we still had to bathe like that with both guys and girls strolling about.. TALK ABOUT SERIOUS REDUCTION OF OUR BRIDE PRICE!!!!
luckily as we hadnt registered the day before, we did not have to take part in that days 'marching' and frog-jumping cos we didnt have our uniforms., but it didnt stop the terrible terrible sun from almost killing us.. we FINALLY managed to register at about 8pm friday night, and swore that we would not spend another night in that place.. u need to see the bathrooms!!!
in between the course of the day, we had already started pleading with a friend of ours who has another friend in the army, who had to find out our commandants name, and luckily, who knew him personally..
it was at that point that there was some hope of leaving.. i got the commandants number, spoke to him, and was told to consider the time we were asking to be let out. this was already past ten at night.. of course i didnt care about that, all i wanted was to be outside the walls of that prison.. come and check out ppl who were trying to escape. the soldiers had to mann the gates and drive them back. even those who slept in the dorms (24people to a room if i might add), were bringing out their matrasses to sleep outside. they said they'd rather be bitten senseless by mosquitoes, than to die of heat and suffocation in the rooms....(no fans, and u cannot bring your own) ITS THAT BAD!!!!!!!! and so friday night had over almost a thousand corpers scattered all over the road. there was hardly any space to even pass.. one chick who came from london to serve, was reading her Bible and shedding hot tears... she said she had never suffered this much in her entire life..
how about the camp food? dinner on thursday was akara, one small fried fish,and Ogi.., the next morning was beans and bread..., afternoon, beans and yam. and u should have seen ppl lining up to collect food..God Forbid!!! we ate in the mammy market cos theres lots of canteens there..
so back to my escape night, i finally meet the commandant and he tells me that he didnt know we were two, and that i would have to leave on my own.. horrified as i was at the prospect of getting out, i would never have left 'Angela' there, so i told him no thanks, and that i'd stay back. 'Angela' said, if i had gone, she would have told them the next day to let her go that she wasnt doing nysc again.. if they had refused, she would have started rolling on the floor and shouting till her father comes to take her away.. dont know what we would have done if we didnt have each other there..
i guess he had some heart cos he agreed to SET US FREE.. forget ! the coded way we even left. had to go one at a time.. one equally desperate girl followed me behind and begged me to say we were together.. . she then lied that she was on her period and didnt have any tampons and with more begging, and after the soldiers abused her for coming to camp without any they let her go. as soon as she got out, she ran accross the road to a waiting mercedes benz, wove to me and drove off..
u also need to have seen cars and drivers outside waiting for people who were planning on escaping that night as well..
so, na so we flee.. . at past eleven at night, from that far away place in iyana ipaja, knowing fully, that we were still heading to V.G.C, and not giving a damn about the time.. so we left, hopefully, NEVER to go back till the passing out parade on the last day, in about two and a half weeks.. i just dont understand how ANYONE can adapt to that kind of rubbish and make the most out of it.. and apart from that, i also think that the nysc thing needs to be SCRAPPED because it makes absolutely no sense to me. if it must remain, then a there must be a TOTAL review and improvement to make it bearable for some people. i say some because there were ppl there who looked like it was just another three weeks of their everyday lives..
so, my peeps, if u are ever convinced to come home and do NYSC, tell them that they should tell whoever sent them to you; that they didnt find you.. in other words... RUN!!
this is my experience and i can BOLDLY represent all the other 'ajebotas' there... i wish them plenty of luck
p.s i think i need to add that Angela and i are now FUGITIVES, at least till that death camp is over cos we cannot return home while its still on...
stay cool guys!!!!!
Love always,
'Mary'
pictures from www.nasarawa.org

17 comments:

teatylawla said...

lol..eya i feel 4 them o even though that story is funny as heck

c0dec said...

ajebotas! it's kinda like the army. what did they expect? that's the life of the average nigerian.

Onada said...

Hilarious. you still cant replace the experience though :)
Not like i've gone. or plan to go for NYSC . LOL.

Naijadude said...

LOL...thats just too funny! The thought of going to serve in Nigeria has never crossed my mind and with this? Hello NO!! No be me you see o...omo na to RUN!!!

TaureanMinx said...

I blogged about this too..You guys let me just confirm IT IS THAT BAD...on the first day lol, but please know that escape is possible and bribery was all those commandants were looking for. They just weren't sharp...if all else failed all they needed to do was go through the bush at the back lolllll. Looking back, it was bearable but then I had been back for a few months before Nysc started. If ur moving back home EVER, u need to get it out of the way and better earlier than later cos ur tolerance limit diminishes with age for such things.

Nneka's World said...

LOL, too funny. Too think that my father said i should come home and serve.
Had a similar experience but this time it was in warri.
Eya i really felt for them

Olawunmi said...

guess i will be delaying nysc for another year then. adaure, you have performed a vital service to me, and i will be putting ur name in my will. da alu

o.

Anonymous said...

We're finally done with the horror aka NYSC. Infact I laminated my certificate today sef. NYSC is a necessary evil, it's better to do it now and get it over with. Imagine what the other people who were posted outside Lagos went thru! Besides the camp experience, it's another way for employers to work you to the bones and pay you peanuts. And then you have to waste valuable hours once a week for CD. But it's all part of life in Naija. We can look back now and laugh sha, no part of this experience was funny.I'm glad it's behind me.

'angela'

tutsy said...

Talk about suffer-head. chei! some people dey suffer o. Trust if na me i go pack my bags and zap on time

LLBeMerry said...

Na wa o, so must you serve to get a job at home if you decide to move? Chineke!!! The closest I got to that kind of experience was when I attended Uni in one those towns.....Name of UNI was OSUA...but apparently it changed. Jesus na Oga......That was the first eye opener for me. Na sufasufa o.....You would think that if you had on-campus accomodation, you were lucky right? Hell to da Nah, it was worse, beest bet was to see housing off campus and then suffer the consequences of transportation, food, security, etc. FYI...Mac Powder, MaryKay and other big giants would not have made sales in their powder line, WHy? Because you didn't need them. All you had to do was dress up, and comot house. By the time you reach street, your face go don pan-cake from dust wey dey blow. Then if you were lucky, you could cramp in the bus that probably was made for 8 but it would be you and like 29 other folks. Your head is hangin out the window so you can breathe. If not you had to walk 5 miles almost to get to class. For me though, I was never ajebota so I quickly adjusted o, but chei, those were the days. Right now though, I know say if I go serve for Nigeria, and have to endure this kind of ordeal.....na one day then go look o, and like fart...I go don disappear.

Nkem said...

ROTFLMAO avoiding the sharp objects! "Reduction in bride price" - that's a classic line. As for me doing NYSC, we shall see.

sokari said...

I came up with this idea for international women's day on the 8th of March as part of the African Women Blogging roundup that Mshairi (http://www.mshairi.com/blog) and I do for the GV.

I thought it would be great if each woman writes a brief piece (about 5 lines if possible) about 1 or 2 women she would like to honour/celebrate post it on their blogs. It could be your mother, friend, artists, activist, leade, from your neighbourhood, community, country or continent wide - whoever as long as they are African. Once we have responses we will know exactly how many will post on the 8th of March then Mshairi and I will do a roundup on GV of all the posts by the African women bloggers.



If you are interested in participating please contact me at:

africa at globalvoicesonline dot org

many thanks

Pilgrimage to Self said...

Hi Adaure, I do hope you don't mind, but I've tagged you.(Check out my blog for further info):-)

NONSO OBIH - THE RAVING HOMO said...

lololololololol.....!!!! TOOOOOOO funny! Lawd ha' mercy!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunate you all find it funny!

It's good to know that we all have a sense of humor and looking back we can laugh.

For me, the Scheme is OK if it can cater for everyone in an appreciable way. A junior colleague(am an Architect)went to serve in ADAMAWA state and slept outside on a flat matress for 3weeks! They had space for only 800 corp members but over 1,500 were sent there!

Is that funny? I don't think so and I believe other camps may have similar horrid tales.

I believe you AJEBOTAS should put your monies where your mouths are and use your influences to get things done the right way. It's your FATHERS,MOTHERS,BROTHERS,SISTERS,OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS and FRIENDS that misappropriate the funds that should have been used to make life in camp and the NYSC in general a worthy experience for her youths.

I'd also like to point out that this is a call for us all to use our EDUCATION and ENLIGHTENMENT PROPERLY. Someone out there knows people on the SENATE COMMITTEE that can address this point.

Laugh all you want but it's not funny, some people die from the lack of proper care and immunity for corp members. My SISTER almost got lynched in JOS. The girl in the room beside her was killed.

I hope this gets to people that can do something positive.

Remain blessed you all. A very concerned Nigerian.

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