CHIHUAHUA IN PINK TIMBERLANDS

LA is my kinda town....Just FABULOUS

Finally, my search is over. I found America. The America that I dreamt about. The America that I saw in the movies. The America in Pretty Woman. The America in Beverly Hills 90210. The America that is read about in Sweet Valley's. The America that Dee and Claire lived in Clueless. I saw the sign for Melrose Place and Beverly Hills. As in you don't need to have been there ever to have a dejavu moment. Driving me down Sunset was the biggest mistake ever. It's like putting sugar on my lips and asking me not to lick. All the fabulousness was too overwhelming, even dogs were fabulous. This one chihuahua was deck from head to toe. As in I understand clothes and all, but doggie timberlands? Pink for that matter. C'mon now, I know ya'll have money and time but it's not that serious.

Anyways a friend took me out to dinner at some 'shishipua' (making up words) French restaurant on Sunset. Hmh... My people... That was HOLYWOOD O. I doubt that food digested properly because I was jut staring at people. They looked like they just stepped out of a movie or a magazine. Then we drove around a bit to see the town. Come and see house....What I you call 'ULO'... 'ILE'...that is ehn. I had to bring out the bush girl in me to appreciate all of that. You know how your new house girl from the village behaves when she sees a TV set for the first time. Think Nkemji on Checkmate. As in the konk igbo accent came out sharp sharp. Then talk about this one house that had Vipers of different colors in their front-yard. Then all the cars that were just flashing by. I have never seen so many Mercedes on one block in my entire life. UGBO!!!
I have not even started on all the nice shops with fabulous clothes that cost more than my paycheck. As in I have never been so jealous of a mannequin. Yes it was that serious... I wanted to hold them hostage and obtain their baffs (clothes). Now I know for sure that I have to find some friends to hang out with in LA, hopefully all that enjoyment when it comes will be on someone else tab (winking code lingo to the ladies...you know everything). This Nne is on a budget, saving for a Mercedes Benz, a mansion in Beverly Hills and Lagos. Shooooo....Once in a while you just have to live in fantasy land and dream a little more than normal. Like we gotsa step up the game right about...shall we say yesterday. Well God dey... in Ibo land we say 'Onye Kwe Chi y'ekwe' which when broken down in the language of the colonial masters means 'when one agrees/decrees, God will also follow in agreement'. So I am claiming all of the above, I don't know about ya'll.

Meanwhile, my telephone buddy still has no idea I am on to him, at least not to my knowledge. He repeated the same fib that I had uncovered. I just chuckled and was like 'ehen', like I didn't know anything. At this point I don't even know if it is worth the trouble of confronting and asking questions like Inspector Gadget. Biko, who has time for that. Last time I pulled that stunt I got so angry I exerted all my energy in my dramatics and ended up in bed for a day or two. Not worth it at all. It's not like the truth will come out then.

Anyways my weekend was interesting and out of the norm. Drove to LA and back. On Sunday I got invited to a Superbowl get together. I then ended up playing 'Catch'. Yes my people 'Catch'. Imagine the sight, Adaure catching a fast approaching football, nails and all. At least this was with a football not a Frisbee. But don't sleep on my football skills O. I was throwing that ball better than a QB. It just brought back memories of throwing Javelin and Discus at sportscenter back in my ISL days. Speaking of which I stumbled on some pictures on some one's Hi-5 page. A picture from 1997 of KC boys basketball team. It was absolutely hilarious, and to think that back then we were swooning over these boys (many of whom were cute) when they all showed up to a match all wearing Chicago-Bulls jerseys....Kai memories that last a life time...LOL.. Wish I could post the picture but that'll be fapping.