Thursday, April 20, 2006

JOHN-IN-THE-BOX

Surprise Ko! Surprise Ni! Biko SHIFT K'am fu Road !!!

Nna na wa o! This America's Top Model has entered joromi stage sha. This episode was too freaking hilarious I was cracking up badly. I don't know why some people just don't like to mind their business. If they are so concerned about Nnenna's boyfriend, they shoud go and marry the boy now.
Let me start from the beginning. So they began the show by talking about the 'John-Nnenna-Palava' with everybody chiming in as advisers and soothsayers on how Nnenna's focus will be lost because of John. Then they went to some fake go-see with an actress who was really mean and cut throat. Kai, she really messed with some people's self esteem. How about she said Nnenna looked like a 'woman-but-man' aka transvestite, and that her stomach was big. As in I am sure Nnenna wanted to back hand the woman sharp sharp. The look on her face could tell it all. It was funny the way Nnenna was like 'I don't think my stomach is not that big' . She had to calm herself down. But the woman yapped all of them badly. Only Jade took it well and laughed about it and used it positively. Only a Biatch can take out another Biatch for real. So Jade won and she had to pick a friend, Nnenna of course, and they got a surprise. Err go the John-in-the-box story.

My first issue is with Tyra who felt she was doing Nnenna a favor by bringing John to the house. Missisu, na who send you message or are you DHL? Then my second issue is with Nnenna; let me just send this warning on behalf of some of my naija sistuhs whose contingency plan you have just jeopardized. Babes, we know you have made it and will have all sorts of men lining up at your 'door-mot' after this show is done. But please, biko, maka chineke, don't be burning cable for the rest of us that don't know what tomorrow holds. My friend and I are concerned for John's kind and ask that you please stop treating him like a 'boy-boy'. If this continues, all the white men will be stigmatized into thinking that's how Nigerian girls treat their men. They'll begin to fear us, stop chasing us and flee at any of our advances. You have also put our sisters who are in such relationships in danger of losing control because their boy-boy bobos would have open eye. Abeg consider awon ajebota babes now.

But na wa o. John must be suffering from the after effect of 'Akpu Power,' because the bros is whipped. Talking about I'll do any thing for you Nnenna. I was really not expecting him in that 'carton' (if na naija boy, he for enter?) and neither was Nnenna who was hoping to see one of her sisters. Did you see how Nnenna's face fell and how she rolled her eyes when she saw John. Oh My Gawd!!! She was so irritated and was faking the smile and laughter the whole time. I don't blame her at all. His behavior is highly embarrassing. May be it's just me an dthe Nigerian romance syndrome that highly lacks that kind of expression.

Anyways after all that 'Ah-Johny-Boy' left. Then they had the-main-the-main photo shoot where the were all supposed to be dolls. Hmh Hmh...can somebody show me who the idiot stylist or where all the ideas and characters for the models are coming form, because somebody is lacking seriously. If it is Tyra, I am highly offended by what they are putting Nnenna through. Some how I feel they are using her africaness for laughs just to see what the outcome will be. I mean of all the 'baby-dolls' in the world that I have seen, and trust me I have seen a lot because I didn't stop playing with and buying dolls till I was 16. I was one of those that used 'Home Economic Projects' as an excuse to buy dolls and make doll dresses. In fact in one of my college drama class projects on building a set, I went and bought some dolls and remade a scene from Midsummer Nights Dream. Why in the world did they pick an obviously 'white-curly-haired' doll for Nnenna. This is the second time they have come with that BS, the first being the so-called Frog Princess that looked like 'Willie Willie'. I mean they could have picked something else, even a Bratz doll or Golliwog. Heck we have a freaking Patti Boulaye looking Nigerian Barbie that they could have picked.
If anything they could have made her An African Voodoo or Juju Doll, she would have rocked it and looked blazing. Where is the African Union when you need them, they are doing our girl wrong on this show and they need to speak out. They made her look like an Ojuju-Calabar, an Umu-agbara returning from an Ekeleke festival. I mean take a look at the picture below. What is the difference between the two. In fact I can't look again. It is bringing back memories of days in the village running away from huge as heck masquerades. Terrendifying experience.



As in I am highly upset over this photo shoot. Highly Highly upset. They are wasting her features and beauty on arrant nonsense. They are just being plain unfair and nee dto start playing up her strengths not trying to create something else out of her. Jade's picture as a mannequin came out on top but Brooke just could not nail it. The next photo shoot suited Brooke the most, but she failed to use the advantage she had as a cry baby to get a good picture and was sent packing. Nnenna on the other hand had a better session when she really started crying. I felt her crying oh. She must have remembered some deep stuff from the past and was missing her family to have cried like that. I sure as heck know she wasn't crying for John o, because she was like she would give up John to be a model. And I say to John, 'Sorry O.'

In there somewhere Joanie spent long hours at the dentist fixing her teeth. Poor girl was in pain the whole time and still nailed her pictures. So did Danielle, who refused to close her gap. Is it just me or can'tTyra make up her mind. One day she wants to change the industry and show that beuaty comes in different pacages, another day she is basically just perpetrating the negative side of this business which does not accept all as equally beautiful. I personally like Danielle's gap and don't see what is so ugly about it that they want to close it up.

These pictures from last weeks photo shoot were also on point. It is supposed to be a Payless shoe ad but I guess the UPN webmaster decided to amputate the picture. I am really digging that berry lipstick they used on her. In fact I went and bought the L'Oreal HIP version of that color. It is the one that Oluchi is wearing in the look-book. Look for it at your local drug store.

This is one of my favorite head shots of her so far. Not to sound funny but something about this picture evokes an image of Super Eagles Supporters Club at a football match. It is the 'Naija Green' and the 'Area-Boy' looking dude with white face. That his T-shirt and Face cap look like matching brocade fila and danshiki like you would see at soccer games.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cant wait Adaure...And hey! Don't rush it neither! LOL..hope you have a good day @work. Mine sucked..So i'm looking forward to your "Wrap up"
Later!!!, as that irriti Tyra would say!

Amazed

SSWiwa said...

JAY-SUS, GIRL!!!! you're going to hell for comparing nnenna to that masquerade, mayn! LOL...God, when i say i was rolling on the floor LAUGHING!! i'm going to be so sad when this season of Top Model is over...your blog is the icing on the cake!

SSWiwa said...

but for real, though, if they wanted the girl to have hair, why they come shave am commot? there is no picture of this babe with wig where she looks normal!

Nneka's World said...

Adaure, Hahahaha, always look foward to your summary of ANTM.
Nnenna and john bits were too funny.
That picture just dont look right and yes she does look like one of those ijele masquerades. Haba! they no do well.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

i was wondering about Tyra wanting to close her gap...as in why cant that be her unique feature...i think it's what makes Danielle, Danielle...if you get me...

As far as the make up for Nnenna...it was very scary...i mean who would buy a doll that looked like that...they did bad....they did really really bad. Im not sure they quite know how to handle her...

Not that Im rooting for her to get off...but I dont think she'll last that much longer if they continue their foolishness...then tyra will start preaching at the show that this that this...when all the while it was their choices that made things go awry

Anonymous said...

Adaure! Adaure! Adaure! How many times I call you? Ehn? You are wickedly funny! Loved your "wrap up" and absolutely loved your comment-"You have also put our sisters who are in such relationships in danger of losing control because their boy-boy bobos would have open eye. Abeg consider awon ajebota babes now."
Make I just thank you for that because Nnenna wan put san' san' for my yellow garri! Dude already thinks I have control issues! Whatever!

Biodun said...

LMAO....ur comment on ur favorite pix of her was too funny girl...I feel u on d whole issue about d way she is treating the Johnny guy, but seriously the guy will get on my nerves 2 n she has been warned sha...so hopefully she will stay off the phone n focus more on winning this title....besides the guy aint cute either pls!

bzbee said...

Johnny boy gats to go for real. Like Biodun commented, he aint even cute. I gats nothing against dear anglo's but if a sistah is to be bothered he gats to be fine oh. Thay had the poor girl all excited about the big ass gift box only for John to pop out. She couldn't even mast her dissapointment
That been said, Nnenna needs to try hard to rock whatever they throw her way, afterall it's about being a model. However I do agree that they always have her looking scary in wigs.
Loved Jade's manequin shoot. But she needs to stop her fake ass diva acting self b4 she gets tossed off for attitude

Yetty said...

Dammit I still have not watched even1 episode.. I wanna cry

Mphahlele said...

LMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAO!!
honestly de babe shud take it easy on the john boy johh ah ah!
she was even irritating me sef na by force to be wit de boy!
and really how is he jeapordising her kinni? it's not like he's telling her not to model!
remember that bloody idiot of a girl from i think it was the first season that left the show to go "be" with her stupid nonsensical boyfriend dat she was arguing wit all de time!????

Sha dis world get problem oh, man go support nnena go wan dump am, man no go support whatever her stupid name is leave millions of dollars to go stay wit man dat i hear say she no dey wit again oh!!!

Rubbish!
And yes i agree dat doll picture vexes me!

ngozi said...

you are so right - they do look like the fans at a super eagles game.

oadefuye said...

lmao!...o my gawd!...this is like the first time i am actually readin anythin on ur blog...but this one us extreemely funny!...

i mean...u r sooo right about the masqurade thingy!...lmao!..the make-up artist did a bad job...

but i must confess...i was sooo mad and irritated at nnena that week...her flippin excuse was "i never owned a doll"...i mean...wharramess!!!..babes made naija look sooo...RAZZ