Tuesday, November 07, 2006


One Bad American and My Nigerian Embassy phone conversation .

So this almighty election day has arrived oh. If you have been following the news you would think that this November 7 some divine miracle is being expected. This year has been very interesting though, particularly with all the wahala that the Republican party is swimming in. This year I decided to boycott the polls. Yeah I know, I am a bad American. The worst of the kind, especially when I know that people in other countries, particularly Nigeria, die and hustle just so that they can vote. Actually, I take that back, Nigerians hate elections. I remember the last election that I witnessed on June 12 1993. I know enough people who complained about how they know their votes would be wasted because 'Maradona' would annul it of course. I also always wondered whether it was by choice that my mom and aunt were always working as poll workers on election day. My mom would be gone for days because she was training poll workers. She even appeared in one of the local newspapers, in a picture with her showing some elderly woman how to vote. We were tripped in our house meeen. I used to be like, yeah my mom is doing her civic duties and blah blah blah. Which is true, but she hated it. Lol. She always came back with sore throat and raspy voice from shouting at Nigerians. Once there was a little fracas at the polling center and they were tear-gassed. I am sure she wished not to be a poll supervisor again, but I am sure she was probably assigned to it again. I digressed.

So back to being a bad American. I decided not to vote. I can give you so many reasons, but I don't care to get into it all now. Ok so I was just being lazy and didn't bother. The one disappointment was that I was hoping this would be the year for me to break into the Republican party, but lately the word Democrat doesn't sound like a curse word. I had been contemplating the switch for the most mundane reason. Black Republicans seem to get ahead in life. Shallow? I know, but the Republican party has begun to look attractive for minorities and if you align yourself right, whether locally or even at college level, there are some gains. Anyways I will save my 'Uncle Tom' aspirations for when I am a soccer mom, right now all the only election I care about is November 2008. I don't care where I would be but I shall be doing the absentee or even flying back just to come and vote. Lol. It is that serious. Anyways I am going to work at 9am today because of election coverage. That's one part I cannot avoid, I can't even feign being sick sef. Lol. I know there are some angry people out there who will tear me apart for not voting. Guilty as charged, don't crucify me please. I will make up for it next time. All I can do is pray that the rest of you went to vote. If you didn't what were your reasons. For those of you who are unable to vote, do you wish you could have voted today and why.

Some Other Randomness

So I sent my passport to be renewed last week. I had a bad feeling something would go wrong so I was calling them at the Embassy in DC all through last week. I kept leaving messages but nobody cared to return my call to say they received the packet. I kept getting the receptionists and in my frustration this was the exchange I had with them;

ADDY: Hi, I have been trying to reach someone in the passport section. I have left several messages all week and no one has called me back.

WOMAN: (in a rich igbo flavored accent) Lemme send you back there. (sent twice)

ADDY: Sorry to bother you again but it went straight to voice mail. Is there someone I can talk to.

WOMAN: I can(t) see dem in de office so I don(t) know wuz goin' on in d'yeh ( t in parenthesis represents unvoiced)

ADDY: (trying hard not to laugh) Oh ok.. I will call back later then.

Just before 11am Pacific/2pm Eastern

ADDY: (Same thing as above)

MAN:(this time in a thick yoruba laced accent) Call back at 2 o'clock

ADDY: Isn't there anyone in the office that I can talk to?

MAN: Iz it 2 0'clock?

ADDY: (looking at the time and rather puzzled by the man answering my question with yet another question) Err.... you tell me, I am on the West Coast and it's 10.58, so I imagine it is also 2 minutes to 2.

MAN: But iz not 2 o'clock yet.

ADDY: (puzzled a bit more and trying to keep a straight face and not laugh)Err... it is only 2 minutes to 2 o'clock... Are they on break or something.

MAN: Ehn .. dey are on break

ADDY: So are you saying everybody in the office went on break at the same time or that the office closed and reopens at 2pm.

MAN: I say dey are on break .... call back in 10 minits.

ADDY: But you said they will be back at 2....it is 2 o'clock now.

MAN: You want toe go to voicemail?

ADDY: No.. I would like to get somebody

MAN: Ok call back in 10 minits den

ADDY: Ok.. Thanks. (hangs up phones and has a good little chuckle...Only when Nigerians are involved that one can have a rather colorful conversation)


Ps. My blogging will be very very sporadic and probably on a weekly basis for the next month due to being too busy and then i'll try to send dispatches from Nigeria through much of December, NEPA permitting. So watch out for that by the Grace of God.


BGT said...

Adaure, do you want me to get fired? i have never laughed so hard in my life. Everyone around me wants to know what i am reading but these darling oyinbo folks wont understand. Kai! That was too much. YOu have patience ooo! I woulda started getting pissed off...

Meanwhile you are heading to Gidi in December? Nice! All we bloggers should plan a little meeting party!

NaijaBloke said...

Addy u know u r just wrong for this ..LOL
"I can(t) see dem in de office so I don(t) know wuz goin' on in d'yeh ( t in parenthesis represents unvoiced)" Now thatz priceless ...

Nigerian Embassy ... enuff wahala .. thank God I renewed my passport when i was in Naija last Dec..

U have a nice trip and abeg bring Suya come back o

houstonmacbro said...

i voted and got out the word as much as i could. unfortunately texas, or at least much of the state, still swings republican.

save for a few local and shining democratic 'stars' it makes you realize you live in a red state and there is not a lot you can do about it unless LOCALLY the republicans screw up badly.

Aba Boy said...

I once worked in a Nigerian Embassy - nuf said..

Omolabake said...

The Nigerian Consulate sucks!!!
The guy that attended to me when I went to get a new passport..... was busy eating a bowl of cereal while he had my paper work in another hand.(during office hours oooo)
Very rude set of people....

kulutempa said...

better that they were even answering you calmly. the last time i went to embassy, i was in the middle of praising somebody for being professional when the guy just turned on me and started abusing me and my ancestors for "almost getting him in trouble." he said i should "take my useless self out of his front"...shock no gree me yan the guy anything; i just started laughing hysterically when i got outside. there was a chick there that had been waiting for almost 2 hours to talk to somebody, and i thought it was cuz she wasn't aggressive enough; turns out she was waiting for the hall to clear so that when someone inevitably abused her, she wouldn't be too embarrassed. LOL!

Gramps said...

Sounds like you feel guilty for not voting in this election. When you get back to Naija, educate everybody on the need for them to do their civic duty by going to vote. It is not enough to just sit down in the house and say, my vote will not count. They have already decided the winner. The more people turn out to vote, the more difficult it is for them to rig. And all hope is not lost, after all the courts have recently overturned the impeachment of the oyo state governor.

Don't worry, even if NEPA (by the way it is now PHC - Power Holding Company) does not permit, there are cybercafes in every nook and crany with functioning generating sets. You can always pop in somewhere and update your posts. Or you can do it via a mobile line - mtn, celltell, glo. You can browse with your phones on any of those networks.

Have a safe trip to Naija

Thoughts said...

Friend mi, how far?I've been following your blog for a while now, keep doing what you do.

Poetic Justice said...

I really love my people! I had the same experience. I sat at the embassy for a good four hours before they came back from "break"

I am really into the politics here in the states. I voted and am happy that we took over the house! and that rumsfeld resigned!

Anonymous said...

RIP Ed Bradley :(

Ray Tarek Belleh said...

Hi Adaure

I was reading written your re-enactment of your exchange with the Nigerian Embassy at about 12midnight German time. I tell you it really had me in stitches. Literally, I thought my stomach was going to burst open as I had my hand over my mouth to avoid disturbing my already irritable German neighbours. I must have sounded like, ' Motley, a TV cartoon character with a silly laugh.

I didn't realize the Internet could be a source of such comedic value. And from a cute looking source at that. I truly wish you all the success with your CNN ambistion, but hey you could already have a standby or side career. Keep it coming. I am sure to visit your site again and again. It makes up for all the humour I am deprived of here.

Adjoa said...

Adaure, are you sure Black Repblicans get ahead? Look at Michael Steele. They can only take so much I guess.