Friday, November 17, 2006

ZIPLOC WILL NOT STOP AL QAEDA

Damn CHP & TSA

I want to bitch a little bit. How about I got my FIRST ticket on Wednesday night in Santa Barbara as I was driving from Santa Maria to the LA airport. DAMN THE C-H-P!!! Funny thing was I thought the guy was following me because I was talking on my cell phone without a hands-free set. Isn't it funny how when you are driving and you see a cop or highway patrol vehicle one starts to recite the Nicene creed, The Lord's Prayer and Psalm 123....Ye, though I drive through the valley of the lights of the CHP officers, I shall get no ticket. Anyways this officer ( looked like such a rookie too) decided to follow me a little bit without his lights and I was just praying that he would not turn his blue light on. He did, I cursed under my breathe and stopped my car. Good thing I sent in my registration for renewal when I did because that stuff is so like expired man. To cut the long story short 'chippy' claims I was doing 87 on 65. Is he on drugs. I swear I was doing 70. He started to explain to me how the radar clocked me at 87 and I was like speaking English, in an English accent, and was like 'I dunno what ur talking about 'oi' wus only doin' 65'. He was now like would you like to see the radar. I was like 'yeah'. He went and brought the thing and it read the I was clocked at 87 from 100 feet away. Whatever! That computer must have had a glitch or something. Anyways I guess I have to go to traffic school or some crap like that. There's always a first. Anyways I stopped over in Santa Barbara to meet writers Chris Abani and Ngugi Wa Thiongo at the Upham Restaurant. They were about to go on stage at UCSB.
Then I got to the airport. Another story. Ok America let me just stay this now. ZIPLOC will not deter Al Qaeda. As in I so totally forgot about the whole bring ziploc bag thing. All I knew was that you could bring your make up in small quantity. Anyways I got there and they told me they would throw away my MAC lip glosses because it was not in Ziploc. Na crase. Omo sweat wan begin fall form my face. I was not about to let that happen. I spotted a janitor and asked him for one of his clear trash bags. Ok the purpose of Ziploc is so that you can see the items..right? A clear bag does the same thing....right? Why did they tell me that Ziploc and a tied clear plastic bag was not teh same thing. O-K? I am stumped on this one. Anyways after they had told me they do not provide ziploc why did they finally go and bring one. Anyways travelling is such a hassle, it feels like you are going through screening at a concentration/boot camp. As in why don't they just tell us we can only travel in bra and panties. Why don't we just go ahead and do that. I mean who is to say that some knuckle head will not come up with a weapon of mass destruction that's embedded in the fiber of our clothing. What makes anyone think putting my lip gloss or deodorant in ziploc will save America from whatever may be contained in that lip gloss assuming it was some biological agent. Didn't these guys freaking watch the 'Transporter'. Like Dude let's get real here!!! We need to be fighting and winning the war in Afghanistan, protecting the borders and the ports not harassing travelers.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

adaure,
I feel your pain...they took my brand new bottle of Coco Mademoisselle perfume on my last trip to NY....I'm sure they didn.t throw it away. Someone must have taken it home. I'm still seriously pained about it and it has been like 2 months now.

boorish male said...

Great blog,thanks to people such as yourself i started a blog of my own......

The boor

Anonymous said...

My dear...if you have enough time the thing to do is go back & check ur stuff into your check-in luggage. Because we all know how expensive our (ladies') stuff is, even when it appears very small....so why shd I be supplying the TSA chick with free stuff?

RJ said...

Its so annoying gwhen they do that....I was in NY at the end of September and they wanted me to throw away my perfumes and "liquids" and all the good stuff I had because I didn't check it in....OH HELL NO! I put all those things in my laptop bag and checked the bag in. Decided to carry my lap top all willy nilly - what do they think? I picked all those things on the street?

azuka said...

Wow, you met Ngugi? How was he? I'm interested in the gist!

Through these eyes said...

Wow, don't know if you will respond to this because you seemed to stop paying us any mind a while ago, but I'll still ask just in case I get lucky.

Did you get hit with reckless driving? The definition of reckless driving is 20mph over the posted speed limit.

Adaure said...

Lol-- sorry my dear-- I just can't keep up sometimes-- but I got you now-- I don't know what they will hit me with men but I wil just bone and pay the ticket abeg-- i don't want wahala